The Possble End of the Perfect Waffle Quest II

So since my commenters have the patience of mayflies on line at the DMV, I shall continue the saga here.

After obtaining the recipe for the Rimon Belgian Waffle it was time to come home and pull out the ace card, basically, a recipe from the SIL of Dipsy, a frequent and ardent reader of this site. After hearing accolades from all those who ate this delectable delight, it was time to try it. Although it is not even slightly fat free ( 1/4 cup oil, 4 eggs) it didn't have 27 pounds of butter, so I decided to give it a chance.

DISCLAIMER AND POSSIBLE PART III, I have never actually completely made any of the recipes that DID call for butter, so I can't say the quest is done, you lucky readers! This hobby (obsession?) could go on for MONTHS or YEARS!....

Back to the waffles at hand. So I made the recipe, nice, really thick batter, and I put it in the machine. It smelled lovely. When it came out, it wasn't the usual soggy mess, it seems to have a real crispiness and weight to it. I bit in. So did the tasters.

It was OK.

Unfortunately, it didn't have the WOW factor that we were looking for, it certainly had the best texture of any we had made, and there was more taste than the usual ones ( except for, surprisingly, the fat free one with apple sauce and apple juice, which still had the most flavor, albeit apples).

So we tried to doll it up with a bit of honey ( a Rimon ingredient) some Splenda and cinnamon. Still OK. However, then I decided, since the batter was so thick, to put chocolate bits INTO the batter.

EUREKA!!! WOW!!!!

THAT truly hit the spot, the chocolaty goodness inside the crispiness of the waffle, with the inherent sweetness of the bits made the eating experience phenomenal.

So for now, without the butter waffles, or having tried to re-create the Rimon experience, we are sticking with the Batter from Far Rockaway with chocolate chips as the leader of the quest.

the Possble End of the Perfect Waffle Quest I

I know it may seem odd to number a post from the outset, but I know this is going to be a two parter. I was in Israel as many of you know. In the past, there had been much talk about the famous Rimon Belgian Waffle, so as part of the quest for the perfect waffle, I needed to go and taste this supposedly wonderful waffle. The added reason was that in each taste test, anyone who had actually had the Rimon waffle would constantly compare my offerings to this outstanding gastronomical achievement.

So I went there one evening, suitably hungry so I could achieve the full of effect of wonderfulness. I ordered the waffle with great anticipation ( and of course, a speech for the poor waitress as to WHY I was compelled to order it as a main dish, and not a dessert). The waffle arrived, and here is a picture.

Each square is filled with either a white or regular chocolate sauce, there are the two scoops of Ice cream, and the stuff on the plate is extra sauce, shaved chocolate, and confectioners sugar. Bug claims that they changed the presentation a bit, in the past it was one long waffle, with a checkerboard of sauces, but I would assume the taste would be the same. After admiring it for a bit, I took a bite.

WOW.

It really was quite good, and the first waffle I had tasted that actually had both texture AND taste. Suffice it to say it didn't last long on the plate.

I had decided previously to try to get the recipe. When I initially ordered it, (after the speech) I asked the waitress if I could get the recipe, but she didn't think so. After she brought it, she said that I might be able to get it, as the manager had said it was OK, but the chef that makes the batter was no longer there ( it was 9 at night). So I should try back in the morning, when he would be there.

I went back at 8:30 the next morning, but hew was not in yet, they told me to try back in a few hours. I finally got there at 2, and although the place was hopping busy, the manager on duty went in to the kitchen and actually got me the recipe. However, there were no amounts given, so I won't share the recipe here.

However, I will keep you all posted as I experiment with the ingredients to see if I can re-create the taste. Stay tuned.....

Political Tidbits

Before I get started on my trip. ( which was wonderful, thanks for wondering to yourself) I have to address two things. ( one might show up somewhere else as well..) Today there was a motorcycle and three bus accident in the Lincoln Tunnel. Two hour delay. You might think that in anticipation of the insane traffic that will follow closing one of the tubes, there will be alternative traffic elsewhere. So lay off the morning construction on the main arteries, right? Well folks, this in New York, Home to the richest short dictator. West Side Highway, the alternative route into the city when the tunnel is really backed up, had then setting up one late closure.

At least none of the workers just hanging around weren't smoking, which segues into the next thought, preceded by a joke,

In Egypt, they claim to have less freedom than here, but there they can actually smoke in public.

Which leads to the middle east, and this first jackwagons middle east policy, or complete lack thereof. He doesn't seem to have the slightest clue how to deviate from the Jimmy Carter handbook, which worked out soooo we for us the last time around. He works hard to bring down our allies, and uses kid gloves with our enemies that are already trying to uproot Israel. Does this seem to make any sense to anyone not a liberal? Please explain.

More on the beautiful country of Israel next.

Impressions while on a trip

Did you ever notice that announcements made on a plane by a male member of the cabin crew are usually delivered in a prissy, effeminate style? Then did you also notice, the resonant, deep throated, altogether all-american male voice and diction which comes through the loudspeaker as the captain get on the horn?

The dissimilarity is almost intentionally a parody, emphasizing the virility of the plane's pilot. You feel safe, confident, sure that someone (Snoopy's World War I ace) is in control, while your personal needs are attended to by the more wifely types which push the carts up and down the aisles.

There are distinctions among the male cabin attendants as well. There is the bully, hectoring you to "TURN OFF THAT SWITCH - OFF - OH EFF EFF." There is the mincer, (difficult to describe in words) "Would you like something to drink?" while bending his pinky and pursing his lips. There is the comedian, his unintelligible words spilling out in a cacophony of deep southern sounds with "Please use caution when opening the overhead bins because you know, shift happens." (At least that was funny.) Give me the pilot any day.

Alabama was cold, below freezing at night. Not exactly unusual but they've had a lot of it this year and that is unusual. I got out just ahead of a major snowstorm which is unusual even for February.

Things must be pretty bad in Florida. One sees people standing on street corners holding signs suspended from their necks, advertising, "We Buy Gold, Highest Prices Paid," or "CARWASH! $6.95." It occurred to me that they have to stand outdoors for hours carrying these large signs which can't be too light, in rain, extreme heat, wind, all to earn, what? $5.00 an hour? $7.00? How inhumane. Like being in the stocks or the pillory, except even worse, they want passersby to notice them. It's a rough way to make a living.

South Florida was great, real convertible weather. Too bad I couldn't stay.

After You, Sir.

I see that no one saw fit to comment on the last post. Although I should take that as a sign that no one wants to read my political rants here, I shall choose to interpret it that you all agree with me.

With that in mind, coupled with the fact that I am getting hoarse screaming at my radio whenever the Egyptian "crisis" is mentioned. I must post again on the issue, since lots seems to have happened recently.

Aside from the press making mountains out of this issue, it appears that the US is doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past, or should I specify that the great student of history, our current leader, is doomed, in his arrogance at thinking he knows everything better, to repeat the mistakes of the president he so closely resembles ( in politics at least) Jimmy Carter.

I heard a clip today of the late great president, Ronald Reagan, saying how he felt the US made a tremendous blunder in not supporting the Shah, and look what followed. This is of course a similar situation. The first Jackwagon has already thrown one of our allies under the bus, ( along with most everyone he has ever been affiliated with, but that is another, much older post) and the news is that we are in talks with Egyptian leaders to work on the succession of Mubarak, who, in the eyes of the State Department, has already resigned, since we asked him to so nicely.

The only things Mubarak has done to us is been a staunch ally to the US, and not hammered Israel more that is necessary to save face among the Arabs. This, of course, ( being an ally to the USA while G.W. Bush was president) is the ultimate crime in the eyes of our idiotic leader. Therefore, he must go, and another country must be destabilized, so that the vacuum can be filled by Islamic radicals.

Can we not see where this is going? Haven't we been down this road before? Or is it the master plan of the current American regime?

I am herewith formally requesting that the President of the United States resign. Based on the way they operate, he should willingly leave, since I asked so nicely.

Lets Rouse some Rabble

Now that my thoughts are focused on the middle east, I just want to comment a little on what is going on over there.

I cannot believe that the left wing liberal press is really so incredibly stupid to believe that all the rabble rousing going on in Egypt ( and for that matter, Lebanon and Tunisia) is for people that are DESPERATE for democracy.

From this vantage point, the only thing that currently fills a power vacuum in that part of the world are extremists. Oh sure, sometimes they couch it initially as democracy, but you can be sure that if there are open elections, and these extremists get into power, it won't be a democracy for long, or it might be a democracy, but not for women.

I think they are brilliant, these fundamentalists. Not 0nly do they have the people believe that they need change ( and see how well THAT worked out for us here), but they thumb their noses at the US, by saying it is all for democracy, when it is clear to me that they are just causing unrest so that they can take over one of the few stable countries in the region.

I hope I am completely wrong about this. I worry that I am not.

Jerusalem is Calling

I met one of my avid followers, who accosted me and DEMANDED that I post something. She was somewhat mollified by the previous post, and it is good to see Soupeater back in the writing saddle, but gave me a hard time for the previous title just popping up every time she checked the site "Sad Music, Sad Music, enough already!"

So now I have written this and satisfied my obligation to her. However, I think I should perhaps add something of substance as well.

The good Doctor is going on the road! This is big news, as I really don't get out much. I am heading for the holy land for a quick spiritual recharge. The funny thing is I didn't realize how much i needed to go until Friday afternoon.

There is a song by journeys about Jerusalem that always choked me up when I heard it. It reminded me of my time there, and how I wished to go back. Eventually, i did make it back, and try to go every few years now. I haven't heard the song in a while, but Ace said they were using it in her concert.

Even so, as of a few weeks ago, when she told me, I had no real reaction to the song. However, on Friday we were singing a few bars, and as I now have the date set for my trip, I felt myself getting quite emotional at my return to the holy city.

I can't wait to go.

Choose Life!

which do you prefer?

Wonderland indeed!

Every time it snows, especially in suburban or rural areas, someone is bound to look out the window and exclaim, "Oh, a winter wonderland!" And, admittedly, it does look pretty, everything white and pristine and sometimes, toward evening, with a lit up house in the background one idealizes the scene of a family, warmed by and cozied up to the fire while winter rages outside.

Enough!

I prefer a summer wonderland. Where the lawn is green, the trees are in full leaf giving shade and visual pleasure to the eye, flowers are blooming and the sun shines its blessings on the earth. No coats to wear, no snow to shovel, no ice to slip on. Winter is only black and white, stark and unfriendly, bare and dead. Summer is colorful, vibrant, full of life.




Choose life.

Sad Music

I was listening to streaming music at my desk yesterday. There is a very disturbing trend in Jewish music that really isn't new, but it is bothersome. It is the use of English music with Hebrew words. Allow me to explain.


Without thinking too much into how I know these things, there was a Hebrew ( modern Hebrew, thank goodness, not words of Tanach) set to a Lady Gaga song. This was bad enough. However, what really got me was a Lecha Dodi set to a medley of Beatles songs. Now that was very well done, but it is still inappropriate.


I remember years ago singing something in Shul to a beautiful popular song, and afterwards Soupeater informed me that it was not appropriate to use popular songs during prayers.


Unfortunately, most people do not have someone to tell them what is proper, or worse, a song gets into our consciousness and them it spirals into more and more inappropriate settings. Such as the Beach Boy song that a kid sang for Kedusha, and when we called him on it, he told us it was a D'ror Yikra niggun, so that is what he was singing. I am not sure he even realized it was a popular English song.


This should be differentiated from the Variations and Country Yossie lines of music, which are clearly meant as spoofs of popular music, and clever plays on the originals. They do not usually creep into our davening though.


It's just sad that our rich heritage is being infused with this music due to the laziness, lack of creativity and larceny of our popular musicians today.

Do They Use Blood in Tea?

What was a blood libel? It was the hysterical knee jerk reaction to something horrible, where the blame was erroneously but deliberately placed against the "usual suspects" with actions them taken against the accused knowing the basis for the claim had NOTHING to do with them.

Now lets see how this plays out. A horrific shooting by an unstable mentally sick individual. The liberal press immediately claims it is the work of an "extremist" (extreme what is not said, just assumed that he is a tea partyer, since there is a gun involved). Then the fault is squarely put at the feet of the Tea Party movement since their rhetoric is SOOOOO inflammatory.

Of course, the entire line of reasoning was so much nonsense, since it was the sick mind of the shooter that prompted his actions, nothing else.

However, once this was correctly compared to a blood libel based on the way it snowballed with blame placed without facts or logic, all the liberal left wing Jews, who always try their hardest to distance themselves from their brethren and G-d, are suddenly outraged and oppressed Jews.

It's disgusting to see. These Jews should be ashamed of themselves. Stop demonizing Sarah Palin, that is what the blood libels did, demonized the Jews. If Mrs. Palin was Jewish, (and NOT a conservative) she would be lauded for her sensitivity and ability to see this unwarranted attack on her for what it is.

Besides, her name IS Sarah..., who knows?

(Interim) Waffle Utopia

Before I saw today's post from Soupeater, I had decided to make fresh waffles for the tasters as a treat (?!). As they have in the past indicated that the fat free version was the least offensive of the bunch, I chose to go in that direction, but with some modifications.

I was out of apple juice, so used some cranberry juice I had. I also felt that to get away from the rubbery consistency complained of by my guest taster, I would try, again, the yeast route, hoping to fluff up the end result.

So I happily measured, mixed, and made a mess in general. I shouted out to Little Miss Sunshine " You lucky girl you, fresh waffles for you in honor of the New Month!" The response? A decidedly tepid "Whatever" ( I was not in the room with her so I missed any eye rolling, but I am pretty sure there was some.)

After pouring the batter, and waiting for the end results, I took the first one and gave it to the older taster, who tends to be less picky and a bit kinder in her analysis, and she didn't seem to hate it. ( in full disclosure, she really just took it with her to eat on the bus, but she didn't gag from the smell.)

then the moment of truth. One for Boo. The response?

"Good" with further edification "Apple-ly, and has some taste"

EUREKA! I AM IN WAFFLE HEAVEN!!


I must say that I am still not thrilled with the final product, it is still somewhat chewy, but I think that is more a function of the fat free nature, and I am still loathe to go the 27 pound butter route. I might once just to see if that is really what makes the difference. So I have a ways to go, but I am definitely getting there. I hereby formally invite Soupeater back for another taste, but in the meantime, allow me to share the recipe with all of you, as I have committed it to memory. (that does NOT make it an obsession!)

2 cups of flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 tablespoons apple sauce
1 tablespoon honey
3 tablespoons Splenda
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup light cranberry juice
1 cup fat free milk
1 packet of yeast.

Non stick spray

combine first seven ingredients. heat up milk and put in yeast when proper yeast temperature.
wait a few minutes for yeast action to work ( I must admit, I really have NO IDEA what the last two sentences mean, but it seams to be in all yeast recipes, and it does sorta work). Add the milk and whisk all the ingredients.

Turn on waffle maker to desired temperature. ( I use the setting just past 12 o'clock.). When heated, spray with non-stick spray. Pour in mixture. flip maker, wait for green light to come back on. Flip maker over again. Open lid. remove waffle. Inhale the aroma, enjoy.

Then blog about it.

I TELL IT LIKE IT IS, WITHOUT WAFFLING

This past Sunday, the good doctor called me up and invited me to partake in a waffle or two made from his latest fat free recipe.

In reading his recent near obesessional posts about waffles, I recalled that my mother had a waffle iron back in the late forties or early fifties and that its products were really quite good. I have no idea what she put into them but in those days, no one was concerned about cholesterol or obessesed about food allergies and contaminants. If you got sick, you might have to spend some solitary time in unpleasant surroundings but no one thought the consequences were as serious as an atomic attack which was all the rage at the time. Today, you can read things like "white rice is lethal," and other likeminded outrageous statements made by seriously committed Carson looneys. What of waffles containing a half pound of butter, whole eggs, and enough whipped cream, ice cream and chocolate to cause an elephant's aorta to clog up. Well, pick your poison but "nothing to excess" includes these items as well.

With that in mind I hied myself over to the doctor where the whole gang, lovey, bug, stretch and the rest of the panoply of characters who inhabit the pages of this blog were gathered over a Sunday afternoon kaffee klatch. I slid right into a seat after examining the showpiece of the mansion, the new rotating waffle iron. Not much different from the 40's version except that this one rotates and makes round waffles. I was offered a fat free waffle which, outwardly, was a paradigm for the masterpiece of the genre. I was offered fat-free ice cream and I scooped out two delicious gobs of the same to place upon the center of waffle, poured some artificial maple syrup into the waffle's crevices then topped the ice cream with some chocolate syrup and just as I was about to take my first forkfull of this delightful concotion, I was offered the piece de resistance (which I could not resist), a maraschino cherry. I left off the whipped cream because it isn't fat free. (All this took place before I had read a recent comment on this blog that the waffles should include these toppings)

Here's what it looked like at that moment.



Now here's the sad part.

With avidity I plunged my knife into the waffle, expecting to feel the crunch as the blade scraped over the waffle's crusty ribs. I knew I was in trouble when, instead, I felt a sensation akin to trying to cut into a rubber band. But, being the brave soul I have spent my life trying to make my persona, I foolishly placed the morsel into my mouth and started chewing for all I was worth.

The ice cream with the two syrups were great, to say nothing of the cherry.

Waffle Quest Continues

After many protests from my tasters that the original recipe for the Quest for the Perfect Waffle (please note: now, since it is capitalized, it is officially a Quest, and no longer an Obsession) was the best, i decided to go back to it, just to be sure that they weren't fondly remembering the initial experience with rose colored taste buds.

So on Sunday I called Soupeater ( I need to mention him, since he hasn't written in a while and I don't want you all to forget him) and told him I was gonna mix up a batch of the original fat free recipe.

I used regular flour instead of whole wheat ( since I was out) and tried to make the yeast work,to give it a bit of lightness ( it didn't) and cooked up the batch.

We served it right, with ice cream, syrup (pancake AND chocolate) and a maraschino cherry. Here is a pic, with Soupeater's ( waffleeaters?) hand about to take the monumental bite and pass judgment.

The judgment? Needs work.

The others? Fond memories are sometimes just that was the basic concensus.

Back to the drawing board, or the store to just buy some.

Happy 2011

Well, it is a secular New Year, and the world uses this time to "turn over a new leaf" and do some introspection followed by resolutions to better oneself.


I ( and many of my readers, I am sure) tend to do this at the Jewish New Year a few months back. However, as the numbers reset for blogs for the years, I think it would be good to take this opportunity to look back and forward a bit here too.


Recently, in case you haven't noticed, this blog has focused quite a bit on food ( or ONE food, to be sure) and the politics tend to rant about one person in particular.


That will probably not change in the foreseeable future, as we still have not attained the perfect recipe that will have my tasters and eaters exclaiming in delight over the heavenly taste of my waffles. Furthermore, as the pompous jackwagon (donkey) masquerading as a mayor has three (gasp! help us) more years of abuse to heap on us, that probably won't change much either.

However, I do resolute the following:

I will try to be funnier so that you don't get bored. Although I usually think I am at the epitome of humor.

I will not write exclusively about waffles, every now and then, there will be other posts. I am thinking of getting into making sushi.

Unless the Moron resigns. no bets on laying off him.

I will try not to fight too often with other blogs.

Comments will be posted with all due alacrity. Subject to my being near my computer or my phone being charged, on, and me remembering to check it.

Now, for you people, a little more interaction would be wonderful. Just no anonymous.

Canadian Waffles?

I saw an article about strange sports stories that involved throwing waffles onto the ice in Toronto. ( Here it is). So that got me thinking, I really must not be that far off with all this waffle stuff. Someone had the audacity to refer to it as my obsession. I think more like hobby. Whatever it is, the article vindicates me, as does the fact that there were so few waffle makers to be found on Black Friday. Therefore I feel renewed and invigorated in my quest for the perfect waffle and shall continue to share my adventures with you, my lucky readers!


And to that end, I have a special treat for you, a better picture of a PERFECT WAFFLE! After sharing the first one, this one was once again made with Related's pancake recipe, and used for an impromptu party. Although much complaining ensued about the taste, three (yes, three!) batches were consumed, with the waffles disappearing as fast as they came out of the machine.

here is the pic

A thing of beauty, is it not?

OK, maybe a bit of an obsession.

As a quick postscript, I took the remaining batter this morning, added some applesauce, cinnamon and Splenda, cooked up the waffle and gave it to my tester, who proclaimed

"Syrup is a lifesaver, no offense"

More Moronic Mumbojumbo from the Mouth of the Mayor

I have tried to hold back, since it seems the only things I blog about are waffles and that idiot supposedly running New York City. Alas, the pompous one has gone so far over the levels of propriety I have no choice but to comment.

I understand it is hard to keep a city free and clear of snow, what with creating ( and I am sure, clearing) bike lanes where there used to be roads, giving out tickets like they were candy on Halloween, and creating new and inventive ways to screw hard working New Yorkers out of their money, there just isn't time to take care of the job of making sure the City runs. I guess he COULD raise parking tickets to $700 a piece to supposedly pay for more non-service, but we will keep that for another time.

However, when you mess up on a scale as large as we are witnessing today, at least own up to it. What does this deluded, out of touch fool do? He ATTACKS, yes attacks EMS workers by blaming THEM for getting stuck.

During an interview I saw last night, mayor Moron, in all his histrionic glory, says that the ambulances were trying to go down streets to, gasp!, help people, and do their jobs, when their ambulances got stuck. Now, aside from the fact that this is twisting the truth, int hat the ambulances were apparently getting stuck EVERYWHERE, and that major Avenues and arteries around the City were also impassable, he then goes on to say that they should have left their ambulances on the major streets and WALKED to their patients on the side streets.

Let me explain why this is the height of uninformed idiocy. First of all, the stretchers are really not designed to go through two feet of snow, not empty and certainly not with a 150-200 pound patient on it. They are just not that sturdy, or designed for that kind of abuse. ( I am sure that his position is bolstered by the fact that it is the obligation of the OWNER to clear the sidewalks, or of course, face another huge ticket). Additionally, the equipment that EMS carries can be quite heavy, and to schlep that through the snow is also not ideal. Even if you could put it on the stretcher for the trip TO the patient, it would have to be carried, along with the patient, through the two feet of unplowed snow, and somehow over the snowbank of packed snow at the end of the unplowed street ( from the cross plowing), while trying to steer and ungainly and top heavy stretcher through the snow back to the ambulance. Keeping in mind that unlike the volley crews, you aren't going to be able to ask for additional members to help you schlep, since they are on another call doing the same thing.

Does any of this make any sense?

Did you expect it to from the mouth of a buffoon?

Never Assume

I was driving on the Palisades Parkway last night, tooling along in the left lane, lead car, when my radar detector goes off just before the new York line. I slam on the brakes, and sure enough, just sitting on the side of the road is a PIP cop, who i pass doing the seed limit of 50.

I am feeling rather smug, and look in my rear view mirror to see the lights of an SUV right on top of me. I felt a little bad for the spontaneous and seemingly unnecessary braking, but i felt the guy should really give me a big thank you for saving him a ticket by slowing him down.

I travel a bit further, with this guy still pretty close on my back bumper, thinking he should be more grateful and get off my tail. I then decided to pop in to the gas station not far from the State line. As i pull off, I look over to see who the yahoo in the SUV is as he passes me.

It was a cop.

Why Waffles?

Over on the cold clean blog, there was a reference to our valiant efforts over here to get the perfect waffle. So I commented but for those of you who don't wish to click and see, I am expanding it here.

Although FBB is sort of right ( WOW, I am NEVER gonna live that line down!), that it is really just a base for the yummy goodness that we slather on top of it, I happen to like pancakes and waffles somewhat plain as well. Furthermore, some of the comments from my tasters have pretty much indicated that it doesn't taste waffle-y, so there is a taste out there that they associate with waffles, and I just haven't found it yet.


However, there is a more important reason for eating them, especially fat-free ones, which so far are winning the taste tests. That would be that it gives a growing child a healthy breakfast that can power them through until lunch. It also gives an expanding middle aged man something to eat with his coffee and syrup that isn't cinnamon buns, which would cause the expanding to go to exploding.

This is a good thing, and shows responsible parenting, whereby mere spoonfuls of butter with syrup on them would probably get a parent in trouble with child welfare.

AND Tuesday Morning

So I had some left over batter from Sunday's failed waffle experiment. ( the batter gave me 5 1/2 waffles, which isn't bad, just the taste is) I decided to use it today, and see if I couldn't doll it up a little to make it taste like something. So I put in some more vanilla, a shot of Splenda and cinnamon.

While it cooked up, it certainly smelled better, more like breakfast. I nibbled at the edges, thought it was OK, but not great. However, little miss grumpy was today's taster, and after one bite she gives me one of her morning disgusted/exasperated looks and says

" Just go with the apple one."


We shall keep trying.