We are about to hit a milestone here at the good Doctor, 5,000 hits since we started the counter ( some time after the actual blog). I would have to go back and check when we hit 4,000, but that would involve research on my part.
I see that we are only about 3,500 behind the blog that was the inspiration for this one, so keep checking here for more interesting tidbits on life.
The only thing I don't get is 5,000 hits, maybe one comment per post. Speak up, folks!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
My Mother
On the sixth anniversary of my mother's death, I contemplate her life and my relationship to it. Unfortunately, while she was alive, I couldn't really appreciate her situation or her history. Mine was always a rocky relationship with her. Although she would go into paroxysms of laughter at one thing or another, I always thought of her as not having a sense of humor, certainly not one akin to mine. Irony and satire did nothing for her and she actually resented it when presented with them.
Beset by 7 rambunctious children that she had a hard time controlling, she retreated into a humorless insistence on order (very much like myself). We considered her old-fashioned and unwilling to bend with the times.
Of course, in retrospect, we have all become our parents and journeyed the continuum of growth they traveled before us. The generation gap wasn't invented or discovered in the 60's. It's as old as creation.
Until she died, it was difficult to see her as a person, growing from childhood into young adulthood, maturing into comfortable peaceful middle age and finally descending to the end of life with all its anxieties and fears.
After she died, I went through boxes of photographs which depicted her in many of the stages of her life and only then did I realize there was a real person there. An orphan child afraid of dogs and hating the goat she had to milk, living just along the poverty line with her mother and adored brother and retarded sister. Then later with the man she married, happy in the new security of marriage, but once again plunged into anxieties caused this time by persecution and a world war and then the tragedy of her brother's murder and the untimely death of her mother.
I see pictures of her, at a time when she was younger than all my children are now, finally in the new world though not worry free, happily holding a little baby (me) on a Hudson river boat outing or enjoying a summer afternoon sitting on the grass with myself and my older brother, a picture of youth and expectation. Things got well for her after she arrived here. My father did well and we lacked for nothing material. A summer home, vacations in Florida and out west, and then later a home in Israel. I don't think she was ever completely comfortable socially, always in my father's shadow, except for the time she spent in Israel.
I am still surprised when, on the occasion of the anniversary of her death, people approach me and tell me stories of how they were impressed by my mother, how she helped them and was kind to them and did things for them.
It has taken me almost seventy years to finally appreciate her.
Beset by 7 rambunctious children that she had a hard time controlling, she retreated into a humorless insistence on order (very much like myself). We considered her old-fashioned and unwilling to bend with the times.
Of course, in retrospect, we have all become our parents and journeyed the continuum of growth they traveled before us. The generation gap wasn't invented or discovered in the 60's. It's as old as creation.
Until she died, it was difficult to see her as a person, growing from childhood into young adulthood, maturing into comfortable peaceful middle age and finally descending to the end of life with all its anxieties and fears.
After she died, I went through boxes of photographs which depicted her in many of the stages of her life and only then did I realize there was a real person there. An orphan child afraid of dogs and hating the goat she had to milk, living just along the poverty line with her mother and adored brother and retarded sister. Then later with the man she married, happy in the new security of marriage, but once again plunged into anxieties caused this time by persecution and a world war and then the tragedy of her brother's murder and the untimely death of her mother.
I see pictures of her, at a time when she was younger than all my children are now, finally in the new world though not worry free, happily holding a little baby (me) on a Hudson river boat outing or enjoying a summer afternoon sitting on the grass with myself and my older brother, a picture of youth and expectation. Things got well for her after she arrived here. My father did well and we lacked for nothing material. A summer home, vacations in Florida and out west, and then later a home in Israel. I don't think she was ever completely comfortable socially, always in my father's shadow, except for the time she spent in Israel.
I am still surprised when, on the occasion of the anniversary of her death, people approach me and tell me stories of how they were impressed by my mother, how she helped them and was kind to them and did things for them.
It has taken me almost seventy years to finally appreciate her.
Friday, June 25, 2010
More on Mayor Moron
Once again, recently I was attempting to travel down the West Side Highway. There were delays getting off the George Washington Bridge. This is a merge where two two lane roads converge into a three lane road, with the middle lanes merging.
So i see on the little zebra stripes that separate the merge a car stopped with a motorcycle cop writing the guy a ticket. The stripes are not really big enough for the car, and this is what is causing the delay.
Traffic is still heavy into the lower 100's. Sure enough, at least this time on the cut out off the road, I see another motorcycle cop writing up two cars.
Traffic gets a little better, then snarls up again coming into 79th Street. once again, ANOTHER motorcycle cop. But this idiot has someone pulled over half blocking and entrance lane from 79th Street and the actual highway.
So it turns out that there is a cell phone ticket blitz going on. However, I can't believe that it is the policy of the NYPD, and of course, by extension, our moronic Mayor, to have the cops stop people in the middle of highways, and cause massive rush hour traffic jams just to raise a few dollars. The Mayor should ensure that this doesn't happen, and prevent people from getting to work on time. Once they are late, they have to call in, don't they? Then they get pulled over also. A vicious cycle of entrapment, if you ask me.
The truth is, this one is more on the typical display of arrogance of the cops, who just don't give a hoot about anything other than their narrow minded view.
I think it was put best by Bug. "Cops are the bullies from High School"
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Whats Shaking?
An interesting thing happened today. I work in a twelve story commercial building in Brooklyn. In the area where I am, it is by far the tallest building. I was sitting at my desk, holding my head in my hands as I read something, when I felt myself getting woozy. It was really more of a slight side to side motion, so I thought it must be because of the way I was sitting. However, upon changing position, the swaying continued.
I thought maybe I was dancing, but I looked down and my feet weren't moving.
Now this is an old, concrete building that really shouldn't be doing the rumba on its own. I didn't hear whooshing wind or a plane, so it couldn't be that. Really pretty nerve wracking, as I am pretty high up. I immediately longed for my old office, ground floor, one story.
Everyone here, after dithering about, decided to check and see if anyone else reported tremors of some kind. Turns out this big earthquake in Canada is being felt down the Eastern seaboard (or at least in Brooklyn.)
Typical damn Canadians. And I can't even blame Bloomberg for this one.
I thought maybe I was dancing, but I looked down and my feet weren't moving.
Now this is an old, concrete building that really shouldn't be doing the rumba on its own. I didn't hear whooshing wind or a plane, so it couldn't be that. Really pretty nerve wracking, as I am pretty high up. I immediately longed for my old office, ground floor, one story.
Everyone here, after dithering about, decided to check and see if anyone else reported tremors of some kind. Turns out this big earthquake in Canada is being felt down the Eastern seaboard (or at least in Brooklyn.)
Typical damn Canadians. And I can't even blame Bloomberg for this one.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Gotcha, Speed Demon 2 ( maybe)
OK, Now this is getting ridiculous. If anyone is actually still reading this blog, or has done so this past week, you would know that I finally tracked down the Speed Demon. Or so I thought.
The excuse for the 94 speed was that he had closed the windows and was driving downhill and didn't hear the wind noise to indicate how fast he was going. Whatever. Still too fast in my opinion.
However, yesterday I got a tip to look at the max speed on the GPS again. So like an idiot, I did. Wanna guess the number? 100!! This is getting ridiculous.
I will protect the innocent here, but I will tell you it wasn't me, Lovely or Stretch. The excuse for this one was the need to pass a truck so as not to get stuck behind it on a one lane road. My answer to this was if you had to hit 100 to pass, then the truck was going plenty fast on its own.
I have decided, no more. The young drivers are herewith punished.
They can no longer use the GPS. I just don't want to know.
The excuse for the 94 speed was that he had closed the windows and was driving downhill and didn't hear the wind noise to indicate how fast he was going. Whatever. Still too fast in my opinion.
However, yesterday I got a tip to look at the max speed on the GPS again. So like an idiot, I did. Wanna guess the number? 100!! This is getting ridiculous.
I will protect the innocent here, but I will tell you it wasn't me, Lovely or Stretch. The excuse for this one was the need to pass a truck so as not to get stuck behind it on a one lane road. My answer to this was if you had to hit 100 to pass, then the truck was going plenty fast on its own.
I have decided, no more. The young drivers are herewith punished.
They can no longer use the GPS. I just don't want to know.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Mayor Moron, Get Your House in Order
I'm not sure is this is under the direct purview of the esteemed Mayor of New York, but it certainly should be if it isn't.
I was driving down the West Side Highway at 9:25 AM on my way to an appointment in the city at 10:00 AM. Traffic was very slow southbound past 125th Street, where it usually opens up. So I figured there was an accident, or that idiot performance artist with the fruit on his head was out again.
No, this was even better, there was a construction truck in the left lane, and they were MOWING THE GRASS in the median! During RUSH HOUR. Does the mayor and his various departments absolutely not give a darn about the drivers, workers and residents of the City?? I wonder.
The fruit guy should be arrested every time he is out as well, since he also snarls up the traffic, but at least he doesn't work for the city. Why can't they schedule the mowing for, say 11 AM to 3 PM, when it would cause the lease damage to traffic and people's ability to get to work and make money to pay the taxes which pay for the mowing?
I reiterate my previous position, eventually we will be down to one resident, hizzoner hisself.
I was driving down the West Side Highway at 9:25 AM on my way to an appointment in the city at 10:00 AM. Traffic was very slow southbound past 125th Street, where it usually opens up. So I figured there was an accident, or that idiot performance artist with the fruit on his head was out again.
No, this was even better, there was a construction truck in the left lane, and they were MOWING THE GRASS in the median! During RUSH HOUR. Does the mayor and his various departments absolutely not give a darn about the drivers, workers and residents of the City?? I wonder.
The fruit guy should be arrested every time he is out as well, since he also snarls up the traffic, but at least he doesn't work for the city. Why can't they schedule the mowing for, say 11 AM to 3 PM, when it would cause the lease damage to traffic and people's ability to get to work and make money to pay the taxes which pay for the mowing?
I reiterate my previous position, eventually we will be down to one resident, hizzoner hisself.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Gotcha, Speed Demon!
Previously, I posted about the interesting feature on my GPS that allows me to see the top speed attained while the unit is in use. Since then, I have left the unit plugged in while sitting inside the console box. I did this out of sheer laziness, since it was easier to do that than to unplug it and take it inside. I did not do it to spy on the various other drivers of my vehicle to see who thinks he or she is speed racer.
Well, this weekend I went down to Lakewood with Bug. Although we know the way, travelling on a summer Friday down the Garden State Parkway always has its adventures, so I like to have the ability to detour if necessary. As we hit a particularly slow stretch of the highway, we punched up the GPS. I was driving, so Bug was working the machine. I asked him, out of curiosity, what the top speed was now reading. It had been 87 on this particular unit ( not 110, that was the OTHER unit I have). He tells me it is now reading 94!!!!!
OK, now I KNOW that I haven't been on a plane, and I also know that I haven't gone that fast. That leads me to the usual suspects. Well, Bug immediately denied going that fast any time recently, which makes sense, since he has not done any major highway driving lately. Lovely has not used the unit or my car, for that matter, in quite some time. Stretch recently took the unit to return to school. However, he was driving some ancient station wagon that needed to be returned to Pennsylvania. Therefore we were under the impression that he probably couldn't coax that kind of speed out of a car like that, especially one he claimed shook at around 60.
Well, we were wrong. Upon admission, it appears the old wagons certainly hit that kind of speed.
Let's see how fast he can go on a bicycle now.
Well, this weekend I went down to Lakewood with Bug. Although we know the way, travelling on a summer Friday down the Garden State Parkway always has its adventures, so I like to have the ability to detour if necessary. As we hit a particularly slow stretch of the highway, we punched up the GPS. I was driving, so Bug was working the machine. I asked him, out of curiosity, what the top speed was now reading. It had been 87 on this particular unit ( not 110, that was the OTHER unit I have). He tells me it is now reading 94!!!!!
OK, now I KNOW that I haven't been on a plane, and I also know that I haven't gone that fast. That leads me to the usual suspects. Well, Bug immediately denied going that fast any time recently, which makes sense, since he has not done any major highway driving lately. Lovely has not used the unit or my car, for that matter, in quite some time. Stretch recently took the unit to return to school. However, he was driving some ancient station wagon that needed to be returned to Pennsylvania. Therefore we were under the impression that he probably couldn't coax that kind of speed out of a car like that, especially one he claimed shook at around 60.
Well, we were wrong. Upon admission, it appears the old wagons certainly hit that kind of speed.
Let's see how fast he can go on a bicycle now.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Do I look fat with this?
I recently attended a celebration for a relative. At the coffee station there were some danishes and pastries set out. As I got my coffee, I picked up a small rugelach that both intrigued and called out to me.
First, some background. I had lost about forty pounds, but have since put about half of that back. ( I know, I know, some people want a refund!) So I am in the middle of where I was at both my heaviest and lightest.
As I pick up this pastry, I met a relative. He looked at my hand, then my midsection, and asked me if I was putting the weight back on.
So now I was wondering, if I had had a carrot in my hand, would he have asked me if I was losing weight again?
I think that the whole thing is really perception. I mean, I was wearing a jacket and tie, its not like I have this big gut just sticking out in its own time zone here. People tend to look at the circumstances to make a decision. It does make sense that if I am not at my thinnest, and I am eating cookies and cakes, that I am probably not in diet mode, even if I should be. But I could be at an optimum weight ( remember, round IS a shape, after all), just maintaining, or cheating a little bit ( it was a little rugelach, not a big donut or cookie).
As to the ultimate question whether it was worth it?
YUP
First, some background. I had lost about forty pounds, but have since put about half of that back. ( I know, I know, some people want a refund!) So I am in the middle of where I was at both my heaviest and lightest.
As I pick up this pastry, I met a relative. He looked at my hand, then my midsection, and asked me if I was putting the weight back on.
So now I was wondering, if I had had a carrot in my hand, would he have asked me if I was losing weight again?
I think that the whole thing is really perception. I mean, I was wearing a jacket and tie, its not like I have this big gut just sticking out in its own time zone here. People tend to look at the circumstances to make a decision. It does make sense that if I am not at my thinnest, and I am eating cookies and cakes, that I am probably not in diet mode, even if I should be. But I could be at an optimum weight ( remember, round IS a shape, after all), just maintaining, or cheating a little bit ( it was a little rugelach, not a big donut or cookie).
As to the ultimate question whether it was worth it?
YUP
Monday, June 7, 2010
I'M BAAACK!!!!!
i don't know why, or for how long, but for some reason, my computer is not blocked today! I noticed first that certain links were working, then, when i was researching someone, I was able to access sites that have previously been blocked.
So of course, the first thing i could think of doing when i realized that i could once gain get to the good doctor without going through gatekeepers and machinations ( not unlike managed health care), was to share the good news with you all, dear readers.
Now this leads to a new pressure to keep the wonderful bits flowing here. ("OK, wiseguy, your excuse is moot, we expect blogs, and we want to be entertained!") So I can always claim ( in advance) that this unblocking must be some kind of fluke. Therefore, if you don't see a post for say, a week, assume I am blocked once again.
Or just have nothing to say.
So of course, the first thing i could think of doing when i realized that i could once gain get to the good doctor without going through gatekeepers and machinations ( not unlike managed health care), was to share the good news with you all, dear readers.
Now this leads to a new pressure to keep the wonderful bits flowing here. ("OK, wiseguy, your excuse is moot, we expect blogs, and we want to be entertained!") So I can always claim ( in advance) that this unblocking must be some kind of fluke. Therefore, if you don't see a post for say, a week, assume I am blocked once again.
Or just have nothing to say.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Where the Green Grass Grows
Where the Green Grass Grows
Probably the loveliest spot in the United States is in the area of the four counties north of Dayton, OH. Miami, Shelby, Auglaize, Mercer. It's an area of rich, fertile,verdant fields with wide vistas of land and sky separated by a clearly defined horizon and dotted here and there with tall farm structures such as silos and grain elevators.
I have written before about the high plains of the Texas panhandle which is similar but drier and much lonelier. Here the towns are not as far apart, the wind doesn't blow quite as hard, there are more trees and generally more people, just the right amount of people.
The area was originally settled by German farmers, some Catholic and some Protestant, and their characteristics are still noticeable in the behavior of their descendants. The farms, properties and towns are almost compulsively neat and orderly. No blade of grass is out of place and the boundaries are precisely clipped and delineated. Street crime is low to non existent though every once in a while there is a kidnapping or a spectacular murder. Most cars are parked with their keys in the ignition. The streets and roads are populated but uncrowded and the people are friendly and non-threatening. Everything is fresh and new looking like a real life version of Lake Woebegone.
It was an absolutely beautiful spring day when, while waiting to see a customer, I decided to eat my lunch out of doors. I came upon a large park with few people in it and several clusters of canopy covered picnic benches on stone slabs amidst the incredibly green grass. I stopped at a bench to eat and during my meal noticed several other lone picnickers enjoying the brilliant weather. Almost all the others were single women, who drove up, ate their lunches, took in some sun and left. I must have been a sight in my suit and tie and yarmulke but I enjoyed it so much, I repeated it the next day as well with the same type of company.
This idyllic situation doesn't come without some tribulations. I began my trip very early on a Sunday morning in order to spend it in Detroit with a close relative. In fact, I left my house at 4:00AM to catch a 6:00AM flight. The flight left on time and even though it was cloudy, we immediately rose above the clouds and had a pleasant journey until we reached the area of Lake St. Clair which is the eastern border of Detroit. I noticed that we began a holding pattern and also noticed that even though we were at 13,000 feet, way below us, about 10,000 feet below us, the earth was covered with cloud cover. This is unusual since cloud cover usually begins much further up in the sky, but this time it was clear until very close to the ground. We were informed that Detroit was completely fogged in but it would soon dissipate.
That didn't happen and we got the go ahead to divert to Toledo (only fifty miles south). Strangely, there was no cloud cover at all as we approached Toledo from the east and landed in sunny weather. Because Toledo is a small airport, it took a while to get refueled and even longer till we got the go ahead into Detroit. We took off and flew for about 16 minutes and then taxied into our gate at Detroit for another 16 minutes. Had I left the plane, I would have been able to drive to Detroit and would have arrived 2 hours earlier than i subsequently did, but didn't realize how long we would be delayed.
Flying from Cincinnati into Newark later that week, about half way into the trip we again began a pattern and this went on for about half an hour when we were informed that it would be another 40 minutes before we would get clearance to proceed to Newark and that we were getting low on fuel.I noticed that when we finally left the holding pattern, we flew northward which didn't bode well and indeed the pilot soon announced that we were being diverted to Albany.
I had learned my lesson and insisted that I deplane at Albany (only about 2 hours by car from my final destination that evening). Before leaving the plane, I remarked to the pilot that this was my second diversion this week.
He replied, " Really? My last diversion was two years ago"
Probably the loveliest spot in the United States is in the area of the four counties north of Dayton, OH. Miami, Shelby, Auglaize, Mercer. It's an area of rich, fertile,verdant fields with wide vistas of land and sky separated by a clearly defined horizon and dotted here and there with tall farm structures such as silos and grain elevators.
I have written before about the high plains of the Texas panhandle which is similar but drier and much lonelier. Here the towns are not as far apart, the wind doesn't blow quite as hard, there are more trees and generally more people, just the right amount of people.
The area was originally settled by German farmers, some Catholic and some Protestant, and their characteristics are still noticeable in the behavior of their descendants. The farms, properties and towns are almost compulsively neat and orderly. No blade of grass is out of place and the boundaries are precisely clipped and delineated. Street crime is low to non existent though every once in a while there is a kidnapping or a spectacular murder. Most cars are parked with their keys in the ignition. The streets and roads are populated but uncrowded and the people are friendly and non-threatening. Everything is fresh and new looking like a real life version of Lake Woebegone.
It was an absolutely beautiful spring day when, while waiting to see a customer, I decided to eat my lunch out of doors. I came upon a large park with few people in it and several clusters of canopy covered picnic benches on stone slabs amidst the incredibly green grass. I stopped at a bench to eat and during my meal noticed several other lone picnickers enjoying the brilliant weather. Almost all the others were single women, who drove up, ate their lunches, took in some sun and left. I must have been a sight in my suit and tie and yarmulke but I enjoyed it so much, I repeated it the next day as well with the same type of company.
This idyllic situation doesn't come without some tribulations. I began my trip very early on a Sunday morning in order to spend it in Detroit with a close relative. In fact, I left my house at 4:00AM to catch a 6:00AM flight. The flight left on time and even though it was cloudy, we immediately rose above the clouds and had a pleasant journey until we reached the area of Lake St. Clair which is the eastern border of Detroit. I noticed that we began a holding pattern and also noticed that even though we were at 13,000 feet, way below us, about 10,000 feet below us, the earth was covered with cloud cover. This is unusual since cloud cover usually begins much further up in the sky, but this time it was clear until very close to the ground. We were informed that Detroit was completely fogged in but it would soon dissipate.
That didn't happen and we got the go ahead to divert to Toledo (only fifty miles south). Strangely, there was no cloud cover at all as we approached Toledo from the east and landed in sunny weather. Because Toledo is a small airport, it took a while to get refueled and even longer till we got the go ahead into Detroit. We took off and flew for about 16 minutes and then taxied into our gate at Detroit for another 16 minutes. Had I left the plane, I would have been able to drive to Detroit and would have arrived 2 hours earlier than i subsequently did, but didn't realize how long we would be delayed.
Flying from Cincinnati into Newark later that week, about half way into the trip we again began a pattern and this went on for about half an hour when we were informed that it would be another 40 minutes before we would get clearance to proceed to Newark and that we were getting low on fuel.I noticed that when we finally left the holding pattern, we flew northward which didn't bode well and indeed the pilot soon announced that we were being diverted to Albany.
I had learned my lesson and insisted that I deplane at Albany (only about 2 hours by car from my final destination that evening). Before leaving the plane, I remarked to the pilot that this was my second diversion this week.
He replied, " Really? My last diversion was two years ago"
Friday, May 28, 2010
Yertle the Judge
As the country is now faced with a situation of a nominee for the Supreme Court who isn't a judge, I would just like to share a story with you that sort of supports the notion that someone who isn't part of the judiciary might be more in touch with reality.
I went out to Hauppauge on a case. It was raining, the traffic was horrendous, and the bridge was a mess, so I went a different way. I figured I was OK, because the Court always has a second call at 10:30, and I didn't anticipate the other side showing up.
Well, I pulled in to the Court parking lot at 10:25, parked, and went inside. There was nothing going on at the time, so I approached the clerk and told her my case name. She looked it up and announced, " Case dismissed at 10:30, no appearance either side."
This is where I felt that I was in an alternative universe.
I looked at my watch, just to be sure. It is a minute fast and showed 10:28. Then I looked up at the clock on the wall DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE JUDGE, and it showed 10:27. I then looked back at my watch, because I needed a moment so I wouldn't shout at the judge " CAN'T YOU IDIOTS TELL TIME!?!?!?!"
The judge, then, in his most officious tone, stated " You can keep looking at your watch, counselor, it was dismissed at 10:30".
Now I was really at a loss for words, or more specifically, words that would not get me held in contempt and thrown in jail. So I just sort of stood there, thinking how I could delicately tell this judge that although the Courtroom is his kingdom, I don't think some district judge from Long Island can bend the rules of time.
Fortunately, the clerk, taking in my completely befuddled and bemused expression, decided that this could indeed be rectified by simply recalling the case, since the other side didn't show, and it STILL WASN'T 10:30. So she did.
However, when put on the automatic tape recorder, it did show a time of 10:33! So either the judge is a slave to a faulty piece of equipment, or he just thinks that he is some kind of god that can make any rule he wants in his courtroom, including suspending the laws of nature.
Although I might not agree with Kagan's policies, the idea that she isn't a judge really should not count against her, if only for the fact that she might not be AS out of touch with reality as even some low level judges become as soon as they get on the bench.
I went out to Hauppauge on a case. It was raining, the traffic was horrendous, and the bridge was a mess, so I went a different way. I figured I was OK, because the Court always has a second call at 10:30, and I didn't anticipate the other side showing up.
Well, I pulled in to the Court parking lot at 10:25, parked, and went inside. There was nothing going on at the time, so I approached the clerk and told her my case name. She looked it up and announced, " Case dismissed at 10:30, no appearance either side."
This is where I felt that I was in an alternative universe.
I looked at my watch, just to be sure. It is a minute fast and showed 10:28. Then I looked up at the clock on the wall DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE JUDGE, and it showed 10:27. I then looked back at my watch, because I needed a moment so I wouldn't shout at the judge " CAN'T YOU IDIOTS TELL TIME!?!?!?!"
The judge, then, in his most officious tone, stated " You can keep looking at your watch, counselor, it was dismissed at 10:30".
Now I was really at a loss for words, or more specifically, words that would not get me held in contempt and thrown in jail. So I just sort of stood there, thinking how I could delicately tell this judge that although the Courtroom is his kingdom, I don't think some district judge from Long Island can bend the rules of time.
Fortunately, the clerk, taking in my completely befuddled and bemused expression, decided that this could indeed be rectified by simply recalling the case, since the other side didn't show, and it STILL WASN'T 10:30. So she did.
However, when put on the automatic tape recorder, it did show a time of 10:33! So either the judge is a slave to a faulty piece of equipment, or he just thinks that he is some kind of god that can make any rule he wants in his courtroom, including suspending the laws of nature.
Although I might not agree with Kagan's policies, the idea that she isn't a judge really should not count against her, if only for the fact that she might not be AS out of touch with reality as even some low level judges become as soon as they get on the bench.
Friday, May 21, 2010
The Costco Factor
Dinner time, especially formal dinner time, has become an endless commercial for Costco and a source of annoyance to myself. Talk of this store has become like the gulf oil spill, nothing can shut it off.
An innocent question about the food being served is immediately answered in a paean to the company whose gas ruins your car engine. A chance comment about a dress or a skirt is immediately taken as an opportunity to sing the praises of the company that makes you pay for the privilege of selling something to you. A question about the salad sends the cook into paroxysms of praise for the company that is too cheap to give you a bag for your purchases. Is nothing unavailable there?
The last straw came as I heard my 3 year old granddaughter playing house. She pretended to go shopping. And where you may ask did she intend to shop? Why at Costco of course and she was going to buy strawberries and blueberries, etc.
So here's a panegyric to the business that women love and men hate. Maybe this will allow the women in my family to get this behind us.
I love to shop at Costco
It's my favorite store
Where, to weed out undesirables
There's a policeman at the door.
Not for them the usual practice
Of wanting to sell to all
They indulge the haughty conduct
Which goest before the fall
They reject the lowly Mastercard
Disdain the downscale Visa
Only Amex will pass muster
That's the card with the luster
I can buy almost anything
That I can eat or use or wear
From meat to fish to pantyhose
Or a sofa or a chair
Fruits out of season
Quantities beyond reason,
Peppers Red Orange and Yellow
Oh, it makes me so mellow
Pay not heed to the feeling
That the quantities are brash
I know I can use most of it
Before it sees the trash
And when I need to haul it home
It fazes me not a whit
That the berry containers burst
Since there is so much of it
I fear that reiteration
Is making me a bore
But I can't help repeating,
It's my favorite store
An innocent question about the food being served is immediately answered in a paean to the company whose gas ruins your car engine. A chance comment about a dress or a skirt is immediately taken as an opportunity to sing the praises of the company that makes you pay for the privilege of selling something to you. A question about the salad sends the cook into paroxysms of praise for the company that is too cheap to give you a bag for your purchases. Is nothing unavailable there?
The last straw came as I heard my 3 year old granddaughter playing house. She pretended to go shopping. And where you may ask did she intend to shop? Why at Costco of course and she was going to buy strawberries and blueberries, etc.
So here's a panegyric to the business that women love and men hate. Maybe this will allow the women in my family to get this behind us.
I love to shop at Costco
It's my favorite store
Where, to weed out undesirables
There's a policeman at the door.
Not for them the usual practice
Of wanting to sell to all
They indulge the haughty conduct
Which goest before the fall
They reject the lowly Mastercard
Disdain the downscale Visa
Only Amex will pass muster
That's the card with the luster
I can buy almost anything
That I can eat or use or wear
From meat to fish to pantyhose
Or a sofa or a chair
Fruits out of season
Quantities beyond reason,
Peppers Red Orange and Yellow
Oh, it makes me so mellow
Pay not heed to the feeling
That the quantities are brash
I know I can use most of it
Before it sees the trash
And when I need to haul it home
It fazes me not a whit
That the berry containers burst
Since there is so much of it
I fear that reiteration
Is making me a bore
But I can't help repeating,
It's my favorite store
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Mr who?
I am sitting at a dinner next to a good friend of mine, who is the author of some scathing remarks in my direction that have made their way onto this blog over the years.
Well, as I sat there, bored out of my mind and playing a game on my phone during some long winded thank you speech, he asked me if such activity was appropriate for a dinner.
I agreed that it wasn't, and decided that blogging is MUCH more acceptable.
So now what is there to talk about and comment upon at a dinner? I looked to the journal for some fodder, and boy, was I rewarded there! First of all, many of the ads include thanks to members of the organization, as well as personal "shout outs" to family members or friends of the sponsors. As I went through the pages, I saw ads from acquaintances, friends and even family members. Not a word about me.
So there I am feeling sorry for myself when I turn to the pages where they list members of the organization and various other officers. I see that the same good friend mentioned above, who has dedicated hours and hours of his time to become an active member of one of the committees is NOT LISTED!!!
Was it oversight, or a subliminal message??? Who knows, but I sure felt better.
Well, as I sat there, bored out of my mind and playing a game on my phone during some long winded thank you speech, he asked me if such activity was appropriate for a dinner.
I agreed that it wasn't, and decided that blogging is MUCH more acceptable.
So now what is there to talk about and comment upon at a dinner? I looked to the journal for some fodder, and boy, was I rewarded there! First of all, many of the ads include thanks to members of the organization, as well as personal "shout outs" to family members or friends of the sponsors. As I went through the pages, I saw ads from acquaintances, friends and even family members. Not a word about me.
So there I am feeling sorry for myself when I turn to the pages where they list members of the organization and various other officers. I see that the same good friend mentioned above, who has dedicated hours and hours of his time to become an active member of one of the committees is NOT LISTED!!!
Was it oversight, or a subliminal message??? Who knows, but I sure felt better.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Turn the other cheek, indeed!
Here is a disturbing article click here. For those of you who don't want to read it, let me summarize.
Some Islamic organization wants to build a community center which will encompass a mosque as well as other resources.
Incredibly, most of the people quoted in the article encourage the project. I can't believe the complacency, stupidity, cupidity, and laziness of these people. How can they be so positive about a religion who murdered over 3,000 innocent people in its name?
At least one person got it right. He is quoted as saying, "Lower Manhattan should be made into a shrine for the people who died there," and I might add, "not for the savages who murdered them."
When our nation becomes too lazy to even hate their enemies United States est perdita.
Some Islamic organization wants to build a community center which will encompass a mosque as well as other resources.
Incredibly, most of the people quoted in the article encourage the project. I can't believe the complacency, stupidity, cupidity, and laziness of these people. How can they be so positive about a religion who murdered over 3,000 innocent people in its name?
At least one person got it right. He is quoted as saying, "Lower Manhattan should be made into a shrine for the people who died there," and I might add, "not for the savages who murdered them."
When our nation becomes too lazy to even hate their enemies United States est perdita.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Take That, Honorable (?!) Sir!
In read a blurb about the recent congressional hearings on Capitol Hill with Goldman Sachs that said the lawyer advising the people testifying that they should use long pauses and rambling non-answers to use up the questioning member’s time, because they really aren’t looking for facts.
I have always felt that these hearings are nothing more than grandstanding witch hunts for Congress. So I have prepared my closing remarks for when I am dragged down in front of a committee, which I would like to share with all of you.
After I finish the boring part that will never make it to TV or the papers, I would conclude as follows.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I know that now is the time for you to ask me questions, questions designed to get your face onto the evening news, and not to elicit any real information. This news bite usually does not bother to put forth my answer. So I will tell you this, if you ask such a question, I guarantee that you will get an answer that will get as much if not more airplay. I have already been convicted in the court of public opinion by your dragging me down here. However, the people of this country may not know exactly who you are at this point. I will be happy to give your question the treatment it deserves, so that everyone who hears it, and the truthful answer, can know what a blowhard or self aggrandizing pompous windbag you are.
So ask wisely. I will now open the floor to your questions. “
Just once, I would like to see someone take on these geniuses with such a response.
I have always felt that these hearings are nothing more than grandstanding witch hunts for Congress. So I have prepared my closing remarks for when I am dragged down in front of a committee, which I would like to share with all of you.
After I finish the boring part that will never make it to TV or the papers, I would conclude as follows.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I know that now is the time for you to ask me questions, questions designed to get your face onto the evening news, and not to elicit any real information. This news bite usually does not bother to put forth my answer. So I will tell you this, if you ask such a question, I guarantee that you will get an answer that will get as much if not more airplay. I have already been convicted in the court of public opinion by your dragging me down here. However, the people of this country may not know exactly who you are at this point. I will be happy to give your question the treatment it deserves, so that everyone who hears it, and the truthful answer, can know what a blowhard or self aggrandizing pompous windbag you are.
So ask wisely. I will now open the floor to your questions. “
Just once, I would like to see someone take on these geniuses with such a response.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Free?? I'll take two!
I am sitting in a continuing legal education class concerning trusts and estates, and how the tax ramifications of the 2001 tax act sunsetting will have on estate planning.
I know, I know, mind numbing, why do you think I am writing to you during the class? I am taking it because (1) I like to have a minimal knowledge of this field, (2) its free, and (3), there is free food at the end.
Well, the lawyers are done droning on, and the financial planner is talking, and as he said, he isn't a lawyer who gets paid by the hour, so he'll talk faster so I better listen.
I know, I know, mind numbing, why do you think I am writing to you during the class? I am taking it because (1) I like to have a minimal knowledge of this field, (2) its free, and (3), there is free food at the end.
Well, the lawyers are done droning on, and the financial planner is talking, and as he said, he isn't a lawyer who gets paid by the hour, so he'll talk faster so I better listen.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Mayor Moron Strikes Again!
The latest plan from the emperor of New York City is to turn one of the main cross streets into one of these idiotic pedestrian thoroughfares. Bad enough that he has destroyed the ability to drive through the Times Square area, now he is looking to cut out a major cross street artery, 34th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues.
I can see it now, a happy tourist, relaxing in the mall, sipping a cool drink while watching a sunset. Then the light turns green, and the sunset moves 8 inches, (attached to the side of the truck advertising Florida.) While the warm breezes redolent with diesel fumes waft over the lounging pedestrian, accompanied by the shouts and honks of frustrated citizens of the city.
Even though the city has always been impossible to get around during the day, at times at night or weekends it was a doable exercise, although the traffic in the more well known areas was always tricky, such as Times and Herald squares.
So now the plan is to knock out the middle of the city, which, these idiots claim, will not create ancillary traffic jams THROUGHOUT MIDTOWN. I have driven and walked through midtown many times. If a car hits his brakes unexpectedly on 34th street, traffic stops river to river from 14th to 72nd street. Forget a double parked truck, might as well get out and walk from Inwood to the Bowery then.
This is good for the tree huggers, as well as pedestrians and tourists, (as long as they like to sit around or walk, not if they actually plan to BE anywhere else in the city on any kind of schedule.) However, for people who make their living either delivering or picking up anything in the city, it will be a nightmare. It will also raise the cost of the taxis as they will have to take more circuitous route around the closures, as well as increase the idling time, This will make it more expensive to live or work in the city, which is never a concern of this dope, as he has more money then he knows what to do with.
Forget the thought of any industry that actually sells things out of midtown, as they will pay more for shipping and lose customers who wish to drive into the city. Obviously there are still lots of people who do, as all the cars and trucks are being driven by somebody. The costs of food in the area will go up as well, as it will take longer to deliver into New York. This will cause more people to brown bag food, and companies to relocate, decreasing the tax base once again, which will probably increase taxes again, and drive out even more people and businesses.
Eventually, the only person left who will be able to afford the city is King Mike himself. Then he can run as mayor forever and get elected with a vote of 1-0.
I can see it now, a happy tourist, relaxing in the mall, sipping a cool drink while watching a sunset. Then the light turns green, and the sunset moves 8 inches, (attached to the side of the truck advertising Florida.) While the warm breezes redolent with diesel fumes waft over the lounging pedestrian, accompanied by the shouts and honks of frustrated citizens of the city.
Even though the city has always been impossible to get around during the day, at times at night or weekends it was a doable exercise, although the traffic in the more well known areas was always tricky, such as Times and Herald squares.
So now the plan is to knock out the middle of the city, which, these idiots claim, will not create ancillary traffic jams THROUGHOUT MIDTOWN. I have driven and walked through midtown many times. If a car hits his brakes unexpectedly on 34th street, traffic stops river to river from 14th to 72nd street. Forget a double parked truck, might as well get out and walk from Inwood to the Bowery then.
This is good for the tree huggers, as well as pedestrians and tourists, (as long as they like to sit around or walk, not if they actually plan to BE anywhere else in the city on any kind of schedule.) However, for people who make their living either delivering or picking up anything in the city, it will be a nightmare. It will also raise the cost of the taxis as they will have to take more circuitous route around the closures, as well as increase the idling time, This will make it more expensive to live or work in the city, which is never a concern of this dope, as he has more money then he knows what to do with.
Forget the thought of any industry that actually sells things out of midtown, as they will pay more for shipping and lose customers who wish to drive into the city. Obviously there are still lots of people who do, as all the cars and trucks are being driven by somebody. The costs of food in the area will go up as well, as it will take longer to deliver into New York. This will cause more people to brown bag food, and companies to relocate, decreasing the tax base once again, which will probably increase taxes again, and drive out even more people and businesses.
Eventually, the only person left who will be able to afford the city is King Mike himself. Then he can run as mayor forever and get elected with a vote of 1-0.
Friday, April 23, 2010
In the news
It has been far too long, dear readers, that we have left you bereft of any new posts so please accept the good doctor's and my own apology for the dearth. I might excuse it by pointing to the busy holiday schedule or some other lame excuse but I notice that other blogs with the same constraints were able to regale you, relating events of the past few weeks with interest and humor.
In truth it is the paucity of my inspiration and thought which has caused this drought of literary output.
While rummaging through the accumulated debris of my life, I chanced upon a photograph of...
No that won't work.
This year's holiday outing was more of a spur of the moment idea than the grandiose, chilly picnic we all enjoyed last year. We went to a little known recreation area, replete with bodies of water, mud, baseball fields, tennis courts, and the greenest and most perfectly kept lawn I have ever seen which turned out to not be real grass at all. But so what. It's beautiful - dark green, no bare patches, one length. Some of us played softball, all hitting and fielding, no running; some of us took power walks and some of us just sat around watching the others. The day was gorgeous, and it seemed to be odd to be just sitting around in the afternoon before a holiday. We had the whole family around us which gives us the greatest joy.
I recently read that pirates fired at a US frigate one day and a few days later at still another large US Navy ship. Are they out of their minds? It's one thing to try to hijack a large cargo ship with very limited weapons on board carrying a militarily untrained crew, but to attack a ship, armed to the teeth with the latest weaponry, using only a few assault rifles shows how naive and primitive these pirates are. If the civilized nations wouldn't be so squeamish they could end this scourge pretty easily. In the incidents described above, the pirates were taken captive after being rescued by their victims. Unfortunately, not much is known about what they will do with this scum. Probably nothing.
I would have left them to drown after destroying their boat.
I recently heard an article on the BBC regarding an English group that was suing the British Government to learn the names of two men captured by the British in Iraq and subsequently handed over to the Americans who made sure they were not heard from again.
The story reported an interview with the parents of one of the missing men who extolled his virtues as a good and obedient son. They related how he had gone to Pakistan to finish his studies - no doubt in terrorism although they didn't say so - and it is not clear from their statements how he landed up in Iraq, 1500 miles away, unless one can infer that he was participating in a course lab.
The BBC then interviewed another incarceree of the American prison in Afghanistan who bemoaned the treatment he and other inmates experienced at the hands of the Americans. He related how this cellmate of his became so distraught he wanted to take his own life. I thought, well that was his goal all along!
In truth it is the paucity of my inspiration and thought which has caused this drought of literary output.
While rummaging through the accumulated debris of my life, I chanced upon a photograph of...
No that won't work.
This year's holiday outing was more of a spur of the moment idea than the grandiose, chilly picnic we all enjoyed last year. We went to a little known recreation area, replete with bodies of water, mud, baseball fields, tennis courts, and the greenest and most perfectly kept lawn I have ever seen which turned out to not be real grass at all. But so what. It's beautiful - dark green, no bare patches, one length. Some of us played softball, all hitting and fielding, no running; some of us took power walks and some of us just sat around watching the others. The day was gorgeous, and it seemed to be odd to be just sitting around in the afternoon before a holiday. We had the whole family around us which gives us the greatest joy.
I recently read that pirates fired at a US frigate one day and a few days later at still another large US Navy ship. Are they out of their minds? It's one thing to try to hijack a large cargo ship with very limited weapons on board carrying a militarily untrained crew, but to attack a ship, armed to the teeth with the latest weaponry, using only a few assault rifles shows how naive and primitive these pirates are. If the civilized nations wouldn't be so squeamish they could end this scourge pretty easily. In the incidents described above, the pirates were taken captive after being rescued by their victims. Unfortunately, not much is known about what they will do with this scum. Probably nothing.
I would have left them to drown after destroying their boat.
I recently heard an article on the BBC regarding an English group that was suing the British Government to learn the names of two men captured by the British in Iraq and subsequently handed over to the Americans who made sure they were not heard from again.
The story reported an interview with the parents of one of the missing men who extolled his virtues as a good and obedient son. They related how he had gone to Pakistan to finish his studies - no doubt in terrorism although they didn't say so - and it is not clear from their statements how he landed up in Iraq, 1500 miles away, unless one can infer that he was participating in a course lab.
The BBC then interviewed another incarceree of the American prison in Afghanistan who bemoaned the treatment he and other inmates experienced at the hands of the Americans. He related how this cellmate of his became so distraught he wanted to take his own life. I thought, well that was his goal all along!
College for a Day
My son was a college student for a day, we are SOOO proud. Here’s the story.
Bug had decided to do something with his life, so after much research, soul searching and angst, we all decided on a program in Queens for him to attend. Part of the decision making process was his ability to start a semester after Pesach, and earn three credits for a course. The daily program involves Talmudic studies until about 3, then college.
So we trundled him off on a Sunday evening to Queens, for dorming and orientation, satisfied that we had done our part to establish him as a responsible adult. Ah, the best laid plans…
Well, of the four courses potentially offered for this mini-semester, two he had, one he didn’t need, and the one that would have worked might be cancelled due to lack of interest. That would have meant a huge break every day with nothing for him to do constructively. The thinking back at HQ was if he can’t take any classes, he would do better to stay at home, where there are more options we are familiar with and where we have a greater support network, not to mention access to a car to get to different places. However, I thought we left it on Monday night that Bug would try to work something out in Queens.
Imagine my surprise to get a phone call early Tuesday morning informing me that I was having company on my ride home, as he was returning from College!
I have to think this is a record for lasting in a university, one day. All is not lost, however, as he is planning to return there for the regular semester, and he has found morning and evening learning programs in Monsey, as well as that same course locally. However, we are looking for some kind of employment to fill the afternoon hours, if anyone knows of something, please let us know here at the good doctor.
Bug had decided to do something with his life, so after much research, soul searching and angst, we all decided on a program in Queens for him to attend. Part of the decision making process was his ability to start a semester after Pesach, and earn three credits for a course. The daily program involves Talmudic studies until about 3, then college.
So we trundled him off on a Sunday evening to Queens, for dorming and orientation, satisfied that we had done our part to establish him as a responsible adult. Ah, the best laid plans…
Well, of the four courses potentially offered for this mini-semester, two he had, one he didn’t need, and the one that would have worked might be cancelled due to lack of interest. That would have meant a huge break every day with nothing for him to do constructively. The thinking back at HQ was if he can’t take any classes, he would do better to stay at home, where there are more options we are familiar with and where we have a greater support network, not to mention access to a car to get to different places. However, I thought we left it on Monday night that Bug would try to work something out in Queens.
Imagine my surprise to get a phone call early Tuesday morning informing me that I was having company on my ride home, as he was returning from College!
I have to think this is a record for lasting in a university, one day. All is not lost, however, as he is planning to return there for the regular semester, and he has found morning and evening learning programs in Monsey, as well as that same course locally. However, we are looking for some kind of employment to fill the afternoon hours, if anyone knows of something, please let us know here at the good doctor.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Slaves to Habit
We truly are creatures of habit. Or at least, I am. Here it is, Friday afternoon before Pesach, and I am waiting on line at the barber shop. Now you may not think this is such a big deal, but you have to realize that I am in the mall, where the barbershop has around 15-20 barbers. Most of them are just hanging around waiting for customers, and aggressively accosting those waiting for a specific barber. So if you are not particular about the way you get you hair cut, you can be in and out in about fifteen minutes.
Alas, I am not one of those people. I generally don't care about my basic appearance. (Much to the chagrin of my family, mother and one sister in particular). And I usually push off my haircut two to three weeks longer than I should, but I am rather picky when it comes to my haircut.
For years after I moved to Rockland, I would go back to my barber in the city, at great inconvenience to myself. Eventually, when that got too onerous, I tried out different barbers at the mall's shop until I found one I really like ( I am not giving you his name, because then I will have to wait even longer!)
Once I found the one I like, I won't go to any of the other barbers, even as I watch people streaming in and out.
One of the problems with this barber is two or three generations come together, and they all want to use him. He once told me that he rarely needs to wait for a customer, because of his popularity with his regulars.
However, I believe I come by this naturally, as I know other people who claim NOT to be creatures of habit, who still use a barber that we are convinced can no longer see the hair, much less cut it in a straight line. This is only one manifestation of the syndrome, there are other signs, but since they are always denied when I point them out, I will not elaborate here.
This is a long post, (and all done on a blackberry yet!) but so is the line. Its my turn now, so I will stop here.
Alas, I am not one of those people. I generally don't care about my basic appearance. (Much to the chagrin of my family, mother and one sister in particular). And I usually push off my haircut two to three weeks longer than I should, but I am rather picky when it comes to my haircut.
For years after I moved to Rockland, I would go back to my barber in the city, at great inconvenience to myself. Eventually, when that got too onerous, I tried out different barbers at the mall's shop until I found one I really like ( I am not giving you his name, because then I will have to wait even longer!)
Once I found the one I like, I won't go to any of the other barbers, even as I watch people streaming in and out.
One of the problems with this barber is two or three generations come together, and they all want to use him. He once told me that he rarely needs to wait for a customer, because of his popularity with his regulars.
However, I believe I come by this naturally, as I know other people who claim NOT to be creatures of habit, who still use a barber that we are convinced can no longer see the hair, much less cut it in a straight line. This is only one manifestation of the syndrome, there are other signs, but since they are always denied when I point them out, I will not elaborate here.
This is a long post, (and all done on a blackberry yet!) but so is the line. Its my turn now, so I will stop here.
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