If you cut me, I will bleed ( maybe)

This public castigation and critiquing ( see comments to GEESE III) has to be addressed. I can be silent no longer.

Why is it that everyone feels my business is theirs? I have somehow muddled my way through 42 years of life, granted, with alwaysolderthanyou in the picture the entire time, but without the help of FBB for the first 8 years, and I would like to think that I am doing a somewhat decent job of existing.

Now, if the definition of existing means spending $14.00 for a slice of chocolate cake, of course called something like Piéce Magnifique de Chocolat to justify the price, then I will have to beg to differ.

I am a simple man, with simple tastes. Now don't get me wrong, I will enjoy an occasional expensive meal, look forward to it, in fact. I feel what you pay for is the ambiance, the change, of location, and superior food served to you by surly people. However, when it is done, I don't feel that I need to go that extra distance to complete the effect and have the dessert in the same place as well. I like donuts, I like coffee, I like a good deal. Hence, a donut/coffee shop for dessert, in another location, which extends the night out, as well as the dollar, seems like a logical choice, irrespective of the name of the store.

I truly do not know how I managed to survive the first 8 years of life without good advice foisted upon me.

Now moving on to more unsolicited advice. As I have been forced to state, and shall reiterate herein again upon being attacked for my prose, (although I appreciate the over 600 visits thus far, and realize that a word printed and not read may not have been heard in the forest, ( to mix a metaphor)),

this is MY blog.

I will respect all comments and opinions, but it is still my call whether to accept them. For those of you who may or may not have blogs of your own, feel free to use any stylistic devices you wish. I will take any comment under advisement, and proceed accordingly. It is not sibling rivalry, it is free speech and choice.

Nevertheless, I will knock down the fourth wall and allow a peek at the thought process behind the decision to use English. When this blog explodes on the national stage, and the hits come in fast and furious, I do not wish to alienate anyone ( who I haven't already alienated by snarky responses) who is not familiar with certain sectors of the population. Therefore, I keep the language generic.


And Hamayvin Yovin

GEESE III

The geese are back with a vengeance. As you may recall, I occasionally have to go through a field on foot to get somewhere. Well, I was on my way there again this Saturday when I decided that as I was trying to catch up to Lovey and the girls, and I was going a different route, I would cut right across the first field, instead of using the winding path. (Note: even though I was going to the shul on the other side of town, I had not eaten or drank anything beforehand, so the CANNOT be blamed on any outside influence).


So I hit the field and I was going towards the far end when I noticed that the geese were back. But then I noticed something different about them. They weren't in the usual skulking about looking surly mode. Nope, something was definitely up with them. They were sort of lined up in a row, about 20 across, just looking at me, and not moving.


I just continued walking across this very large field, feeling like I was participating in the shootout scene at the OK Corral. The geese were puttin' up a racket, honkin' and hollerin' about, but I just kept saunterin' towards them, one foot in front of the other.


Well, all of a sudden, when I was about 200 feet away, the honking reached a crescendo, and then they started to move.


Towards me.



Fast.


And I realized that I was standing, all alone, right smack in the middle of the goose airport runway, and they were taking off in formation.


Now, if you have ever seen geese take off in unison, it is a sight to behold, they start running and honking and flapping, and slowly get airborne. Right at me. Then over me. It was both thrilling and a bit Hitchcockian.


Well, after they cleared the trees at then far end of the field, I continued on my way, passing the five remaining geese who, I guess were the ground crew, or on lunch, or something.


They, at least, were skulking about.

Piff to You

I have been getting snide remarks from others that I have not posted in a while. The truth is most of what is in me has to be distilled down for the masses, so as not to cause damage. ( To who, i will not say) .

Now I have looked about at other blogs, and there have been gaps of, would you believe, 2 WEEKS where there were no posts, even though it is posted to by a couple of people who seem to have plenty to say! From the 7th of the month, to the 21st. And THAT blog did not have one of its contributors on vacation.

So now we have a similar scenario here, where this blog has been resting our fingers a bit before we ramp up for the summer surge of blogs. ( As well as tooling around the yard). The last post here was the 7th. This one is the 21st. So i just duplicated the other slothly blog and kept the same gap, without going one shorter, and grandstanding, or one longer, and letting them come back with " Oh, yeah, well OUR graphics are better than yours, and we have shorter gaps, so there!"

So enjoy another post about posts, the old standby when the other thoughts are still percolating about in my head, and today, being baked in the sun as I enjoy the top down.

Gotta go ride.

Random Thoughts While Whiling Away the Time at an Airport

I usually travel to Virginia and the Carolinas in the springtime. Their's is more advanced than ours by May with most of the fruit trees having blossomed before I got there. The strawberries are ripe and delicious, sweet as the sweetest candy, while ours aren't even thinking of coming up yet. Maybe it's my imagination, but the quality of the morning light on the deeply green trees is somehow different from other places. I have taken many pictures over the years to capture the mood but they don't do justice to the reality.

Driving around in this area of woods and shacks, I am struck by the prominence and seeming importance religion plays in the area. Churches abound here and they don't come small. Sure there are your little roadside clapboard one room churches, but many are huge, with high capacity parking lots and much activity even during weekdays. There are billboards proclaiming the need to repent and pray. I even saw one sign which read, simply, "HOLINESS!" Not sure what that was supposed to mean but it certainly has somethiing to do with religious observance. The radio stations, those that aren't public radio and that don't play rock and roll, offer up a steady diet of sermons, scripture readings, and gospel songs as well as interviews with repentant sinners who offer advice on how to keep your marriage afloat and stay out of debt. Some of it is really quite interesting, especially the scripture readings. Some of the programs contain some pretty anti-jewish bias but that comes with the territory.

Speaking of religion, apparently, a very popular radio personality catholic priest was photographed on the beach in Fort Lauderdale, bare chested, embracing a woman in a bathing suit, and the picture was published in a spanish language tabloid. This caused his boss to remove him from his post for a violation of his vow of celibacy. I don't know. They finally get a priest with normal proclivities and they punish him for it.

Georgia is known to be the second largest chicken producer in the US, after Iowa. On entering Gainesville, GA, a large water or oil tank on the side of the road proclaims "Gainesville, the poultry capital of the world." As I came into Gainsville the other day, I was behind a flat -bed truck carrying live chickens in coops. I subsequently passed another such truck on the highway (the coops on this one were empty) and counted the coops. There were about 600 of them stacked eight high in four ranks and about 18 rows all on one truck and the one with live chickens had a lot more than one chicken in each coop. They were just hunkered down in the coops, looking balefully at the traffic behind them. At least these could see the road. The ones inside probably couldn't see anythiing.
Naturally, driving 802 miles in four days ( a little less than on some trips) I have to listen to the radio, and when I have enough of the preachers, I listen to, you guessed it, NPR. NPR seems to have a bit of a truth hangup when it comes to the Mexican flu. They keep insisting that both scientists and themselves are baffled by the fact that no one seems to die from this disease anywhere but in Mexico and they offer up some really strange reasons for the phenomena, that it's been around Mexico for a long time and therefore is very potent, etc. It seems to me that any child could tell them that the state of hygiene and medical care in Mexico is not a standard a country should aspire to and in a filthy crowded and congested place like that it's a wonder there haven't been more deaths. It's that political agenda again.

The longest lines in the United States are to be found in the post offices. As you enter a post office, there is a line at the stamp vending machine. Proceding further into the manned (or womaned as the case may be) section, you will see a bar usually shaped like the letter L where people can place the item(s) they are mailing. Rarely are there fewer than 15 people waiting along this bar and just as rarely is there more than one person handling the customers. There are plenty of other people behind the counters walking back and forth and pointedly ignoring the line of patient potential mailers. I think the line of customers scares them and that's why they retreat behind the wall as soon as the crowd builds up. If they would fire these people, who don't do anything anyway, they wouldn't have to raise the postage every two years.

Someone should throw a pair of shoes at the chief of the postal service.

I Remember When...

Talk about the generation gap. I feel like Arnold Fine today. Here's what happened.
I was talking to Boo about when Lovey and I were kids, so I threw out during the conversation that the person we were talking about should have just used her cell phone. Now to Boo, this made perfect sense in her 11 year old mind, as she has no concept of a cell phone free world. So I told her the person could not have used a cell phone, because no one had them.
Incredulous look.

Well, since Boo thinks I'm kidding her all the time, she didn't really believe me. I told her, and Big Sis, who had joined the conversation at this point, that when I was a kid, no one had a cell phone, and when I was a teenager I know a person who had a car phone. Even then, I had to stress A person, as in only one. Boo then asked me how people communicated. I told her pay phones, but when I started working I had a beeper.
Absolute.
Blank.
Stare.
This one, she couldn't even COMPREHEND, never having seen or heard of the technological advance of its time. So I explained that you called a number, and left a number, then the person would get to a phone and call. She still didn't truly grasp the concept until I told her that newer advanced models had answering services send text messages. THIS she was able to understand.
Its incredible how what was a great advance in our day is considered an obsolete relic by the current generation. I finally can imagine the wonders that the generation before me experienced with even more amazing advances, and I have a new found respect for older people who adapt and utilize the new technologies.
But I still feel old.

The Joke is on Us

When I decided, during my college days, that I would like to be a lawyer, I naturally chose political science as my major because that was considered to be the accepted path of pre-law. At the time, you couldn't have found a more politically naive, unpolitically aware, young man in all of New York. I grew to like the subject immensely and although I never did become a lawyer, I have a lifelong, keen, interest in all phases of politics, from grassroots movements to international relations. Paradoxically, I intensely dislike the strategic maneuvering that is the politicians' chief emphasis and I am nauseated when forced to be in the company of professional politicians. It takes me a week to get the odor of their mendacity, their selfishness and their pure evil out of my system.

The structure, the nuts and bolts, of politics is what intrigues me. The why and the how. Maybe that's why I took so many history courses as part of my major. The nature of power, how one person or group achieves power over another person or group was a subject I was saving for a doctoral dissertation if it ever came to that (it never did).

While listening to NPR and reading Newsweek (dare I mention those names on this blog?) it occurred to me that all I have to do in today's environment to understand the nature of consolidation of power is to sit back and relax and experience it as it happens before my eyes.

Obama's appointees, people like Rahm Emanuel, Lisa Jackson, Carol Browner, whose zeal and religious fervor entails sacrificing our freedom and economy to the great god climate change, are beginning to drop into place; and you stand by helplessly as their grip on the levers of power squeezes the life out of our liberty and businesses. All the while the victim cannot even mount a feeble protest.

How have the american people, known for their sagacity and innovativeness, become such imbeciles, convinced into thinking that it is worth spending $4 billion of our money
for something like smart electric meters, a pie-in-the-sky pet project of Obama's, that will benefit no one but their manufacturer. It's like a scene from Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged." And it is happening before our complicit eyes.

The incompetence of this administration will make even Henny Penny cackle.

Uncle Him

Over the Holidays, I had the opportunity to spend it with lots of family. Especially of note is that it is one of the few times a year that I see my sibling from the middle of the country. She has a little girl who really does not see much of me, and seems to share the same sentiment that all my nieces do towards me, someone to be tolerated because we are related.

Well, I was sure that she did not have any idea who I was, since I rarely see her even when she is here ( she is either sleeping or busy doing toddler type things, that do not include me). Her mother vociferously disputed that, so we put her to the test. While she was visiting, we asked her whose house she was in. She answered Aunt Lovey's, which was correct. We then further inquired who else's house. She looked at me and said

"Uncle Him's"

Well, she WAS correct, but that is all I need, ANOTHER identity.

Upon further bothering, she did get it right, though, but I think the idea of Uncle Him has some merit. Maybe I will start a blog.....

Out, Out Darned New****k

I am having a problem with the mind set of some of the people that comment here at the good Doctor (what else is new?) First of all, in a slightly related matter, I would like to welcome back Dr. Uhberschnitzel as a follower, we missed you!

Now on to the issue at hand. Why is it considered censorship and fascism when one exercises his right of free speech if it isn't condoning a liberal position? No one is more slanted than the left wing press, yet they are the first to scream censorship, even as they practice it every day, in how they release sound bites, who they allow to write in their op-ed pieces, and who they choose to feature. These last two come to mind with the New York Times not allowing McCain to write a piece, and one of the two ( I don't remember which) national weekly rags ran a puff lovefest piece on the pre-burka wearing creature that lives with the President, but nothing on Cindy McCain. I waited in vain for the piece on her, and it never came.

I posted a comment and was attacked for suggesting that a euphemism be agreed upon for one of the National Weekly Rags ( or both, for that matter). This was done to protect people. I have not disallowed discussion, I merely requested that it be euphemismed to protect the sensibilities of the readers who might be offended by what they stand for, or their very mention. Also the children, who should not be intrigued to go read that garbage that passes for journalism.

( I know, I know, they throw the token bone to the Conservative in the back, but then they force him to write every third column about baseball, and wear the bowtie)

So how about us all getting along, and working for change, and changing the name of that aforementioned rag to something we can all agree upon.

I shall start. Newsbleak ( Oh wait, now that Bush is gone, that should be Newsgreat)

All the News we decided you must see, slanted our very own way ( too long?)

Obama's Voice

Pelosi's Panderer

The Rag ( i like that one) .

OK , now its your turn, and remember, its important to have dialogue to create change, its what the President's teleprompter would want.

Quick Takes

Today Obama told CIA staffers, "I will be vigorous in protecting you," but who is protecting the United States?

Henny Penny

Since Dr G was shutdown for the passover holiday (we couldn't sell it) there have been no posts since April 7.

Green being all the rage in the Obama administration, publications like Newsweek get on the bandwagon and everything they report is flavored by the new ideology. One such article in the last issue is an interview with the new energy secretary, Steven Chu. He comes with good credentials being a nobel prize winner for physics. The first thing that caught my attention was that he and his fellow scientists bemoan the fact that they can't control climate change. His underlying motivation is to somehow poke G-d in the eye and get control of the weather. Lacking that, he hopes to at least slow the inevitable (according to the science community) progress of global warming.

If there is one thing that has always gone without saying it was that humans are incapable of influencing the weather and even the greatest atheist agrees that it is out of our hands. Now, at the beginning of the 21st century we experience the ultimate "kefira."

One of the arguments emphasizing the danger of climate change is that dead vegetation in the polar regions, should world temperatures rise, would release untold billions of microbes which would eat the vegetation thereby releasing an overwhelming amount of carbon dioxide into the air. I can't believe that a nobel laureate could believe such poppycock. If the microbes that were alive when the polar reqions were verdant couldn't prevent the arctic climate from becoming colder why would their reawakening cause increased warming?

In the same issue, Fareed Zakaria characterizes senator Inhofe (Oklahoma) as someone "who has compared the EPA to the Gestapo, , Carol Browner to Tokyo Rose and environmentalists to the Third Reich."

I like this guy, Inhofe. He sings my song. Many of my friends can tell you that I have been saying for decades that if the greens ever get in people will go up the smokestacks in the name of environmentalism.

I think the time has come...

Brooklyn Postscript

So I was shopping for the holidays, and wouldn't you know it, my travels brought me back to the same store as last time.

So I finish running around like a chicken without a head, and mosey on to the checkout line. I see a nice looking line, a couple with a big order checking out, and a gentleman behind them with not too many items in his wagon.

This time, I'm smarter. I ask him if he has any minions floating around the store still collecting items. He informs me that he is alone, and there will be no surprise wagons showing up. i get in line behind him and relate the story of my prior visit. We chuckle about it.

Meanwhile, the people in front of him bought half the store, and they are having it boxed. Based on the amount of time it is taking, they are either having it packed like fine china, or they are packing it for a trip to China. Either way, I stayed in a strategic position so that no one could escape from the chute at the counter, and I kept an eye on them as they worked, so there would be no sneaking off through the exit. But they behaved.

By now, I had exhausted my conversation with the guy in front of me, so I turned around and saw a gentleman there with a wagon of basically Matza, just alot of it. Figuring that the Pesach season could use some leavening, I looked at him with the straightest face I could muster and said ...

" I have eight more wagons coming."



Shopping for Passover ( this trip) $200.00

Parking at a meter $.25

The look on this guy's face. PRICELESS

and I paid with a Visa

Clowns can be the Saddest People

I have been insulted, in the guise of a compliment.

I have been informed that I am funnier in person. Now this may sound like a compliment, and I do appreciate the sentiment, however, I like to think that I am a well rounded ( not as well rounded as I used to be, but that's another story) individual when it comes to humor. I try to entertain the masses in person, as a blogger, a commenter, and when I write in general ( except court papers, judges tend to take themselves VERY seriously, and don't appreciate humor).

Here's what happened. I met someone who recently started to follow the blog. That person informed me, as I stated, that I am funnier in person. That person's family helps, in that the conversations tend to allow me to go off on some riff that we all find humorous. However, I was feeling a bit down, so I mentioned it to my reality check, a very old friend who is beyond brutal in his honest assessment of me and all my faults. He agreed with the assessment, and added that he doesn't find me all that funny altogether.


Now I realize that I can't compete with fellow bloggers linked to this site ( MBB of Icebergcarwash , for instance), or to some of the humor columnists and comedians that I listen to. I also realize that not all topics lend themselves to humor, but I always try to inject a least a little tickle of the funny bone of my followers.

Alas, I think perhaps by humor is a bit too subtle when I write, so I am toying with certain comedic devices to have you all rolling on the floor...... ( you know the rest). I think I shall either go for the absurd exaggeration, or perhaps write everything in caps, so you people will laugh so hard YOUR INSIDES WILL COME OUT YOUR NOSES!! AND THEN CAN BE CLEANED OF CHOMETZ FOR PESACH!!! ( add the gross factor as well, that can work). Maybe I shall just continue with the subtle humor that gets a grin, and perhaps invokes thought and conversation.

Or just sit in a corner and cry.

Noisy Natter, Silent Spectator, and Grouchy Grump

I have a truly interesting extended family. I need to address this now, since I have put the blog address out there and they might be checking in to see what the good Doctor and Soupy have to say.

We are basically broken up into three groups, with some subsets. The first group are the Noisy Natterers. Extroverts, who are always on, and enjoy the spotlight. a subset of this are those who NEED, instead of just enjoy, the attention and constant affirmation therefrom.

The second group are the Silent Spectators. Those who are content to sit on the side and watch the show, but trust me, they have opinions, and if you hit the right buttons, they can blow you away with both their thoughts and the vehemence behind them. After all, they are all "Greunkerns".

The Third group are the Grouchy Grumps. This is a very proud group, that revels in their orneriness about the family and life in general. They even have hats! However, some are not as contrary as they like to pretend, and some of the other groups would fit in this one as well. Take me, for instance, I could be known as G., the Grouchy Grump Greunkern, or G4. A nice ring, I think.

All in all, an interesting bunch. I am truly blessed to be related to these people.

Quick Takes

Here's proof ( as if you needed it) that G-d rules the world. Who would you have bet on: Len Bias or Mr. Yamaguchi?

It is inconceivable that a starving tenth rate nation can threaten and cow the world's two greatest economic and industrial powers with their threats. North Korea can do so because it holds South Korea hostage to its plans. It's time that Obama, untested as he is, ends this terrorism forthwith using massive power if neccessary.

AIG employees and the teachers' union have a lot in common. They both don't believe in performance standards or merit pay.

Climate change has become an obsession - the primary article of faith for a worldwide secular religion known as environmentalism. - Paraphrase of a statement by professor Freeman Dyson of Princeton from the New York Times magazine.

Travels in Texas

You all know how I love the high plains of the Texas panhandle. Its sweeping, cattle dotted views to the horizon, its uncongested roads straight as laser beams, its grain elevators towering above the plains filled with the produce of a rich land, its oilfield jacks, its windmill farms, its center pivot irrigation booms marking out green circles on a dun colored background. It contains all the elements of the agricultural and energy sectors of the US economy. There is little difference between its large towns and open country for even within town limits there are vast open spaces, and Amarillo's Monday morning rush-hour is less crowded than early Sunday morning in the suburbs of the Northeast.

When I mention to the good people of this area that I am going to Houston, they wrinkle their noses as if to say that it's much too crowded there. Things are, as always, relative. I once mentioned to someone that I preferred Houston to Dallas and the reply was that while Dallas was a real city, Houston was just a cow town. I guess I like cow towns.

Houston's appeal to me is that despite its being one of the largest cities in America after (New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago) it is the most uncity city I have ever been in. A low roof line, typically only 2 stories defines the place. There are of course, many skyscrapers, the largest being the 60 story Williams Tower, and many three story apartment complexes all of which do not disturb the sense of openness and space I am used to from the plains. Almost all the buildings, low and tall have generous setbacks and abundant vegetation separating them from the concrete of sidewalk and street. The highways are lined with industrial and office buildings of all types, old and new, all with much open space surrounding them. Except for some persistent trouble spots, the traffic flows quickly and smoothly. As in most Texas cities, the freeways are built at level, service roads alongside, and the main roadway bridges the major intersecting streets. This allows for traffic flow through all the neighborhoods, largely due to the innovation which allows a U-turn from the service road without the need for turning at the intersection and waiting for two lights.

An anomaly that has always piqued my curiosity I can only attribute to something left over from an earlier time. In an area criscrossed by a freeway and a tollway, exit and entrance ramps, along a wide street bordered on both sides by empty land bereft of pedestrian traffic, sits an old rundown house with an off-ramp wall just behind it and a freeway overhead. Every time I pass it, I wonder how it came to be in this otherwise uninhabited place.

It is in fact, a well known Houston restaurant, Bubba's Texas Burger Shack. It looks as though it started out as a private house on a fair bit of land. Its subsequent history remains a mystery to me.

Life is fragile indeed

Why does the recent death of Natasha Richardson strike a chord with me? I don't mean to be callous, but she is not the first famous person to die young and tragically during my lifetime. I did not know her personally, never met her, ( I did see some of her films though) and she did not know me either, so why does it bother me more than just as a passing news story? I think the answer is twofold.

First of all, she is a mother and wife who was just out for a day of fun with her kids, doing something innocuous and (relatively) safe that any one of us could do on a day off. Whatever her professional life, it is the activity that really drives this one home, it could have been anyone I know, and that makes it even more horrible. People should not die from that. It is a horrible and tragic way to go, and drives home the fragility of life like nothing else.

The second reason is she was about my age. The age thing is something that I also felt with the demise of two other public figures, Princess Diana and John Kennedy Jr.. I grew up at the same time as these people. They were young when I was, and got older as I did. Although they led completely different lives in a public forum, some of the issues were the same and life changing, such as marriage, law school, children, and everything that life entails.

Furthermore, although all three were a few years older than me, they defined my generation in a way that a 20 or 60 year old does not. So the fact that they are from my generation, and very often at the same point in their lives ( with children, aging issues, etc.) make a connection to them somewhat stronger, and has a bigger impact on me when I hear such terrible news.

So I will take this tragic event, and try to learn from it, by being closer to the ones I love, to appreciate them and life in general, and thank G-d every day that I am alive.

Court is in Session

I really ought to write a book.

Whenever I go into housing court, I always come away with something. I will save the major descriptions of the housing court system for the book ( i need to keep your appetites whetted) but I will tell you this story that happened this week.

I was in the courtroom of a judge who I have never previously appeared before. I had no idea of her personality whatsoever.

Now each courtroom is populated by its own cast of characters. There is a court officer, clerk, law secretary, and sometimes other officious looking people whose job descriptions elude me.

However, in Manhattan in particular, the overriding jobs of all these people is to scream at you.

Some are more relaxed, others raise it to an art form, but I always wondered where they get their cue from.

So here's the scenario. I am sitting in the courtroom for 20 minutes waiting to get something signed. The entire time, the staff behind the bar is shouting out things at people, but the Judge is silent. signing things, reading, stuff like that.

Finally, the judge calls a case. Two tenants get up, say its their case, and one goes into the hall to get the lawyer. After he calls the lawyer to come in, the two of them go up to the table in front of the judge.

This judge, obviously a very busy person, when she did not have people immediately ( within 10 seconds) show up when she called the case, went back to reading other court documents. She then looked up at the two tenants now standing in front of her and said, quite snidely " I didn't tell anyone to come up here." So the two gentlemen went back behind the bar to wait to be called.

As they were standing there, the lawyer for the Landlord they had informed that the case ad been called came in, and assuming that, as there was no one else in front of the judge, his case was up, went past the bar to the table. The judge looks up again and says ( same voice as before) " I didn't call anyone up here. I called the case, no one came up, so I went on to other things".

The attorney, and old pro at this attitude, smartly retreated and apologized to the judge. He was standing at the bar with the two tenants, (I assume figuring that as soon as the judge finishes whatever she is doing, and feels that they have been suitably chastised for making her wait they will be the next case up.) when the clerk looks up and shouts at them " WHY ARE YOU STANDING?? FIND SEATS!"

On the Trail

My father had an expression that went something like this: Someone who travels has a lot of stories to tell. How true! Notice how anytime one of our bloggers goes on a trip there are long posts of the event. I'm no different. Remember my airport posts?

I often think of my father when on the road. Sometimes, while cruising in the midwest between fields of high, almost ripe corn, along a practically deserted county or state road, in the distance, on the horizon, I see a steady stream of tractor trailers crossing in front of me. This was a particular scene in which my father delighted. The almost ghostly vision of the trucks slowly moving along the tops of of waving corn stalks was a metaphor for the approach to the pulsing traffic along Americas mighty interstates which criscross the nation in stark contrast to the pristine peacefulness of small town America. It gives me the same feeling.

Or another scene he would have enjoyed. Sunday night at a major "hub" airport at the commuter flight area. People are returning (almost all passengers on Sunday evenings are inbound - back home, rather than beginning a trip) from who knows where, exhausted but happy, loaded down with shopping bags luggage and kids, dressed (or rather undressed) in all kinds of crazy outfits, those lucky enough to find seats lolling about the crowded waiting room just wanting to get back to their small town that doesn't have direct air service from any but the closest big city. For some reason, the airlines schedule all their commuter flights to leave at the same time from the same set of gates. The confusion and noise can really get to you. Since all the planes are leaving at the same time the boarding announcements come fast and furious and many times are incomprehensible above the bustle as well as because the gate agents aren't native English speakers.

My most original story happened when Ozark airlines was flying. Ozark was a regional airline serving, Illinois, Missouri, Arkansas and probably some other states in the region. I was booked on a flight to Springfield, MO. Another flight, scheduled to leave at the same time, was heading to Springfield,IL. You can imagine the problems this caused. The waiting area was tiny and the gate agents were trying to caution the people to choose the right plane. They didn't have jetways then and when you got out on the field there were several planes all looking alike with their stairways down leading to their open doors. I wonder how many people, half drunk, landed up in the wrong town.

The funny thing was that this must have occured every night!

I've been Facebooked

Since I have started to blog, and put my life and the lives of those closest to me all over the internet for your entertainment, I have heard that there are private people who do not appreciate having the story of their lives broadcast to the world. I thought that although they are very private people, that they were exaggerating a bit. However, I now know a little bit of what they are feeling.

I received a message from a relative admiring the way that I sing a certain song, with motions and props. Considering that this was done in a private home some 200 miles away from this person, I was a bit surprised that he had seen it. ( I had just had a private screening of the same video the night before, so I know where it had come from.) I felt a little funny that this was now in the public domain. However, i had a "conversation" with the poster, who assured me that the video was down, and it was only for a private group of family members on her Facebook account.

Well, I went to that Facebook page, as I am now have an account since I needed it to contact someone ( more on that in a later post, stay tuned) and I indeed noticed that the video clip was gone, but there were quite a few pictures.

of me.

Not all of them flattering.

Needless to say, I was a bit put out, and conferred once again with the poster, who assured me again that the pictures were in a private album only accessible to a specific group of family members.

I was reassured with this information. However, the feeling remained of having my private life out there for the whole world to see. It is not a comfortable position to be in, with my various aspirations and my current position in life. However, it did give me a glimpse into how others feel about posts that involve or include them. So I will continue to endeavor to use code names and take poetic license with my posts to protect the innocent and those who have the misfortune to cross my path.

I just wanted to share that with you. ( Oh, the irony!) It probably wont stop me, though.

All Dressed up with No Place to Go

Monday night there was a bit of a lull in the festivities after we got home and had Dinner. So the family decided to prepare for the next day and dress up. Lovey and myself went to the nail salon of Boo ( yes Dr. Boo Boo be Gone, in your honor she is now known as Boo) for manicures, which were lovely in their diversity. Then wigs and lashes all around ( for the FEMALES)

We were ready.

We were pumped.

We were perplexed.

We had no place to go!

I never thought that I would be living a cliche, but there it was, the girls and us in costume, with no idea who to share our many colored splendor with. We debated, suggested and rejected a chole bunch of people for various reasons ( They are sleeping, not home, we will see them tomorrow, they will be scared of us, etc.) before finally we decided to hit some of the aunts and uncles, always good for a chuckle or two.

The house was dark at the first stop. Turns out they were not home either. So we went to the next location. Success! Had a nice visit, then it was time to come home and dream sweet thoughts of the the fun to be had on the morrow.

Which was lovely, by the way.

Thank you, Mr. Madoff

Bernie Madoff benefited me greatly today, I really need to thank him for helping me out.

Here's what happened.

I was going to Court in Manhattan this morning. I was running late since I slept a little later than usual, and I had to drive my son to the city. ( For the same reason.) Anyhow, the check-in for the Courts is 9:30-10:30, then you are late. I got to Court around 10:45. I went to the officer at the desk to check in and noticed that my file was in front of her with a sticky on it that said I wasn't there. I said I was there to check in on the case and she informed me, quite insistently, that check=in was 9:30-10:30 and that I was late. I told her that I had been "Madoffed", that I had gotten caught in the heavier than usual traffic in lower Manhattan for the plea spectacle that was going on today ( which is true.) She then relented and said " oh, is it really bad out there?", removed the sticky, and put the file back in the present pile.

The traffic was pretty bad, and I had avoided the east side because of it ( the Federal Court is between the east side and the court I was in) but I was actually late, and should have left earlier.

So for all of you out there castigating the man, at least let us realize that he has done some good in his life.

I have no idea what excuse I will use next time, though.

Right this way II

It happened AGAIN!!!! I could not believe it!!! Just like last week I was wearing my ski cap in the City ( This time, in Brooklyn). As I am walking, a guy asks me which way Hoyt Street is. I ACTUALLY KNEW!! I was so proud of myself!

However, I really think its the hat. maybe NYPD doesn't stand for "New York Police Department" like everyone assumes. Maybe they tell people out of New York that it also means something more like "New York Pedestrian Director", or "New York Person for Directions" . It could even have a New York flavor, with " No, You Passed it, Dummy!"


Just some thoughts. I will think some more when I take off the cap and people stop interrupting me.

Memories

A friend just sent me a picture of Broadway looking north from 176th street, taken about 1918. There is some question about the date but it almost certainly predates 1930. It was sent to me because I used to live there. In fact, the two buildings, front left, were my home for 28 years.

Thinking of the United States in 1918 conjures up the image of a young vibrant springlike country bursting with energy, of prosperous small towns with uncongested tree lined boulevards and happy people looking forward to the nascent development and liberty unleashed by the recently won victory in Europe.

This is what I expected when I opened the picture . I couldn't believe that back then, the buildings appeared as ugly as I remember them in a later era, blackened by the soot of time and neglect, the massive buildings crowding the unadorned, unbuffered sidewalks, their featureless facades a mess of small windows climbing to unnatural heights above the street. Even the puny trees in the picture never got any bigger. Admittedly, the streets had not yet taken on the congestion and hodgepodge of bumper to bumper parked cars squeezing the sidewalk from the street side corresponding to what the buildings were doing on the other side, but even then the mix of residential and commercial spaces packed together in a welter of busyness is sensed in the photograph.

This was a high class neighborhood at the beginning of the last century but why would anyone want to live there, that way? What an iconoclast!

right this way sir

Weird things happened to me tonight. I wear an NYPD ski cap, not because I am a cop, or love the boys in blue, but because it was free! (of course). So I get off the train at 42nd and Park and start walking west on 42nd street. Suddenly, a gentleman stops me and asked me which direction is 51st street. (Please note the extreme irony of this entire post, in that I have a terrible sense of direction, and never really know where I am in the city, but more on that later)

I tell the man to go north, and he starts walking with me. I ask him where on 51st he's going, he tells me Lexington. I politely inform him that he is going the wrong direction, and point him towards Lexington Avenue.
I then proceed west, and when I hit Madison, a group of Oriental young people asked me where Times Square was. I informed them to just keep walking west on 42nd Street, and they wouldn't be able to miss it.
As I continued west, as I turned up Fifth Avenue, I.thought it mighty strange that 2 people asked me for directions. I mean, I get lost in a box if there aren't clear directions, and whenever I get out of the subway, I look for the Empire State Building to orient myself.
Well, my life as an information booth apparenly still wasn't ove, and wouldn't you believe, not two blocks up, a pair of European women asked me, in broken French (or something sounding like it) where Madison Square Garden was!
Fortunately, I knew where that was as well, and was able to point them south and west, as well as tell them where they could pick up a train for one stop.

Needless to say, I was feeling pretty useful and smug, until io realized that I had missed the store I was looking for, and had to double back.

AIRPORT II

This should have been my first blog on the subject, but in the heat of complaining about the Detroit airport I cut straight to the chase.

My first flight, in 1955, started at New York's Idlewild airport (now JFK) which, at the time was a long series of quonset huts. We arrived in Cleveland at an airport that had been built around 1927 and wasn't much larger than one of today's mcmansions. It was a square, brick building along the edge of the airfield. The fifties was a time of massive building of hotels, airports and the like and the style was steel and glass whose architects were I.M Pei, Eero Saarinen, Phillip Johnson and the like. Aviation was really beginning to take off (pun intended)and the need for planning from arrival by ground vehicle to takeoff became a priority.

One of the most inovative designs, ultimately used by Kansas City International and Dallas Fort Worth, was the semicircular terminal. In fact, the terminals were somewhat more than semi-circular, maybe about 230 degrees. The idea was to use the inside of the circle for vehicular traffic and the outside for air traffic. One could arrive by car and be at one's gate just across the hall, about 30 feet away. It seemed like a good idea but no one reckoned with the spate of hijackings which shook the country and necessitated security checks for all departing passengers. As it was impractical to have security at every gate, the dream of 30 feet from car to plane was subject to an unpleasant awakening. Another drawback of this system was that although it was convenient for passengers arriving by land it was a nightmare for those who used the airport as a transfer point from plane to plane. One could land up having to walk two miles with heavy luggage (before luggage wheels) from one gate to another.

Another idea which was more lately born puts an arrival building in midfield and a monorail leading to a landside terminal. This is evident in Florida airports, at Detroit and in Pittsburgh. I don't see the sense in this but they must have had a reason. It cuts down on the length of your walk although that isn't the case at Pittsburgh.

Getting from one gate or concourse to another is also an issue for intelligent airport design. Due to the growth of air travel, additions to airports are inevitable and they lead to a hodgepodge of different modes of movement between terminals and gates. Airport officials widen or extend a space and then find that it doesn't fit in to the original traffic flow at the airport and they engineer a solution which requires some convoluted movements to navigate it all. They use busses, monorails that don't fit in with existing tram systems, and moving walkways and escalators leading to the same problems they originally eliminated when conceptualising the new airport.

The best design would be a two level one with ticketing and gates on one level and baggage and ground services on another. Easy to say, but rather difficult to achieve.

Live and Learn

I went to a Dinner this past weekend for my daughter's school. They do a nice job, and they have set up in a a side room some work product from the kids. What they had there was part of an exhibit that I had been to earlier this month and had wanted to comment on, so now that I have been reminded, here goes.

I went to a People in History exhibit that was put on by my daughter's school. The theme was profiles of people throughout history, from Presidents to inventors, dictators, people who have made a difference in history, and even religious leaders. I was truly amazed by most of the exhibits, and actually learned a thing or two. For instance, did you know that windshield wipers as we know them were invented by a woman? I didn't. I was also quite impressed that the range of people that were covered, not all of them heroes, and all the work done by the elementary school girls.

Kudo's to you, daughter's school, I guess the tuition is going to good use.

Airports

I have previously commented, in different forums, on the advantages and disadvantages of major airports so if you have seen this before, just let it pass.

I recently flew from Newark to Detroit, a trip I have taken many times and which is usually a non-event. Newark is a pretty comfortable airport and one whose quirks and layout are very familiar to me, especially those of Continental's main terminal C. Newark doesn't win five stars from me but it is certainly in the four star category, designed to current standards of passenger comfort, ease of navigation and handicap access.

My current trip started out with the plane being delayed from Buffalo by about half an hour which is not cause for concern. It soon became apparent that the airline personnel were up to their old habits of not being truthful and that the plane was going to be arriving considerably later than they were reporting. At the time we were supposed to leave, it was announced that there had been a gate change and in order to avoid having to go through security again, a bus would take us around the building to the other gate. When we got there there was another gate change but only one gate over, but still the plane hadn't arrived. When it did, the mechanics had to check something and we finally took off about 2 hours late. I discovered something I didn't know about terminal A and that is that the busses are a regular feature of the terminal shuttling passengers and employees from one set of gates to another, because, apparently, there is no corridor leading from one concourse to another inside the security cordon sanitaire.

So much for Newark. Detroit is another matter altogether. If I were to rate it, I would have to award it four black holes. (How do you graphically portray a black hole?) Admittedly, not every part of the airport is as bad as the worst part. The main terminal has a train running through it and it only requires one escalator to get to the shuttle level. from there you go down to the main concourse, take an escalator or elevator up to some mezzanine level only to have to go back down again to get to baggage claim and the outside. The terminal we arrived in requires some walking, then several levels down, a long level corridor with moving walkways, up several levels and then down to baggage claim. I am not sure why they didn't install a roller coaster. At least the McNamara terminal, as dingy as it was, used a logical design plan. The old main terminal was actually no better in traffic flow than the new one is so I suspect that Detroiters have a strange view of the world.

How about other airports?

My all around best five star large airport is Atlanta, GA. The plan is simple. There are two terminals, North and South each a large square containing baggage claim and ticketing on one level. Then there are five parallel, rectangular, concourses progressing from east to west connected only by an underground viaduct where you have a choice of walking, using a moving walkway or taking the tram. It makes for a very quick sprint from plane to baggage claim or from ticketing to plane.

Besides Detroit My black hole airports are Miami, the new Fort Lauderdale airport and Toronto's Lester Pearson airport, terminal one, which is a multi story building which requires the use of elevators that don't hold too many people or bags. San Francisco is another up and down nightmare but I only used it once and that was enough. Maybe it has some hidden redeeming qualities.

Airports I like: Newark, Aberdeen SD, Lynchburg, VA. For no particular reason except that I am used to them and have spent a lot of time enjoying their facilities. I feel like I've lived there.

Let's hear your favorites and least liked.

Does Excuse me Exist in Brooklyn?

I hate Brooklyn. Well, not actually the place, but the people sure do leave a lot to be desired. I was doing some holiday shopping for Lovey when I finished and got on line. I picked one that had one woman at the register, with what looked like 2 not very full wagons, a single girl behind her with a bit of stuff, and then me. You'd think I'd be out pretty quick. So did I. I didn't even pull out the berry.

Well, there was all kinds of commotion going on at the head of the line, boxes being set up, tape ripping, etc, so I patiently waited, while avoiding those attemping to get past me through my toes.

Then I realized that I have been standing in the same spot, (with numb toes by now) for quite some time, so I looked up and saw that there was still a wagon from the first woman at the register, with a little girl (around 7) standing next to it, without the woman. I asked the checkout girl where the woman went, and she had no idea. She asked the girl where her mother went, and we were all informed that she was filling up another wagon somewhere in the store.

So the checkout girl told the little girl ( keep up here folks) that she should get her mother, because she was holding up the line, which she did ( the little girl, not the checkout girl).

So then this woman comes waltzing back, pushing a FULL WAGON, with a flippant, in her hard bitten Brooklyn accent, " Sorry everybody". ( I don't think she really meant it, though). Now she didn't forget one or two items, this woman got on line to check out, watched most of the checking out process and then JUST LEFT TO CONTINUE SHOPPING.

I try very hard to keep of family friendly and PC here, but WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING???? I've seen people get on line and wait for someone else to come with another full wagon, that I can understand, however rude it is, but I have no idea on what planet these people operate where it is acceptable to just leave a line and continue to shop.

And then we wonder why our kids have no manners.

Quick Takes

We're starting something new here at Dr. G. This is the first issue of this eponymous blog. In the interest of brevity, we will comment on the world situation in three sentences or less on any one subject. Lest you fear that it will detract from the purple prose you have come to expect of our posts I can assure you that we will continue to bring you the excellent entertainment you have come to expect of this site. Quick Takes will be in addition to the thoughtful pieces, affording our audience the benefit of our wisdom without an undue strain on the writers' time.

Quick Takes: February 23, 2009

Citibank and BofA have cut their dividend to very small amounts. Any company that loses money should pay zero dividends. If a stockholder wants a return of his capital, he should sell his stock.

If AIG is bleeding money because it is paying the bank for toxic mortgages they insured, why are the banks also losing money on the same mortgages?

Don't give it away!

Very often, especially among some of my close relatives, when I mention a book or movie and begin a very compact synopsis of the plot, I am exhorted not to "give it away." Most plots are not so intricate or surprising that there is anything to "give away." I can think of some plots that would be ruined for the audience if they knew some important detail in advance. "The Murder of Roger Akroyd," Agatha Christie's first novel, as well as the movie "The Crying Game," and the play "Sleuth" come to mind as examples of surprise endings, but most similar entertainments can't really be given away.

I am currently reading some books on the great stock market crash of 1929. The whole world knows what happened that blighted October. And yet, as I get to the part describing the events of the week of October 21, my heart starts to pound and my hands tingle in anticipation of what will happen next. Will the market crash? Similarly, will Gavrillo Princip get in his shot, will the Austrians attack Serbia, will the Japs send their planes over a peaceful Sunday morning on Oahu? I, as well as millions of people around the globe know the outcomes. I still enjoy reading about these events even though you can't give it away.

The Doctor is ( back) in

Well, I've been gone for a while, but I am finally back ( I shall now pause for the applause and accolades......., please, that's enough).

For those of you who may not know, I was abroad visiting Bug. I had a lovely time, and got to share the adventure with Lovey, even though we went separately. Travelling separately is something I recommend if you travel like me, which is with a very short fuse, and lots of grumpiness. This way, we got to enjoy the vacation part of the vacation, and not start and end it with me just screaming like a maniac. This is even with the new me, who makes an appearance from time to time, but not really when I travel.

I have to say that the trip was interesting, as my whole focal point changed, since I was going to visit a child, and my usual place of abode had been sold out from under me. I also had a car, which is definitely an adventure in Israel, as they drive worse that the Brooklynites, with a GPS that decided I should really really be somewhere in Netanya most of the time, and the rest of the time I should just turn around for the hell of it.

Spent the weekend with all the relatives who are inhabiting the land, and it was nice to catch up with them or see them in their element ( and own homes) people sure are different when they are settled.

Thanks to those who helped out for the trip, with rides, room and board for the kids, and cousins of said kids who shared their space.

Well, that's it for now, I think I better read what has been written, since I have been moderating comments for soupeater, but haven't had much chance to read anything. I took the laptop, but mostly used it to charge my blackberry since I left the charger at home.

Shalom

Afghanistan

The BBC, with the largest news organization in the world routinely reports on the world's trouble spots. Armed clashes, revolts, dictatorships and the like.

These are all of prime concern to the United States since any instability in the world will eventually affect our nation, its business and its citizens abroad. Aside from North Korea, Sudan, Burma, and Iran the top pick for American concern (according to the newsmedia) is Afghanistan. It is increasingly identified as the main problem spot for the US, probably because we are heavily involved there and are about to become even more so.

So maybe we ought to sit back and try to determine our purpose in Afghanistan. The Taliban was reprehensible to us because they gave comfort and shelter to our enemy, Al-Queda. We then worked ourselves into a fit based on their tough enforcement of sharia law and what we perceived to be unfair treatment of their women and those more lax about their religion. Imperceptibly, this became our main reason for opposing the Taliban and its return to power even after their commitment to Al-Queda became doubtful.

At present, Obama is considering increasing the forces we will commit to that forsaken land. He sees the need to strengthen the central government, but right now it is weak and corrupt. It is doubtful whether more troops are going to solve the problem. The people resent the idea of foreign troops trying to reorganize their lives. Among our policy makers, there seems to be an ignorance of Afghanistan's past history. Afghanistan needs a king, elected by local and tribal leaders who have the trust of their people. Even in a nation as small as Afghanistan, there are bound to be people who rebel against their religion and culture, but they do not, by a long shot, represent even a tiny minority of the nation's opinion. The west amplifies the importance of advocates for democracy and free expression because they mirror our view of the world, not because they have much to contribute to the society they live in. The idea that everyone, man woman and child should have a say in selecting their government, is, in that part of the world, nonsense. Much as we would like to see the whole world governed as we are with universal suffrage as the method of choosing our leaders, it isn't going to work over there. It's a foreign idea which is so out of keeping with their culture and religion that it cannot work.


Our role in Afghanistan should be to patrol their borders to prevent foreign adventurers from entering the country but otherwise to leave the people to be governed by traditional means. As abhorrent as some of the muslim practices are to our western sensibilities, veiling women, barbaric punishments for crimes, and savage religious practices they are prefectly acceptable to most who profess the religion of Mohammed. Believe it or not, people in the muslim world are offended by our public expressions of atheism, nudity, and lax moral standards.

We should not have to sacrifice our young men and women for the ideal of universal democracy. Our real enemy is Islam. Either fight them all or stay out of it.

Yellow Journalism

Why are we all getting the feeling that the current downturn in economic activity is somehow worse than other downturns we have experienced in the past? There was 1975, 1980, 1990, 2001. Some of them were pretty rough, but we were not beset by panic and no one thought, "this is 1929 all over again."

True, most the others were not preceded by a stock market crash and the one really serous one did not develop a major long-term recession. 2001 experienced a crash of sorts but it was mainly in one sector and was a long decline rather than a sudden
crash. The bank situation has been the most frightening, but I think we will weather it.

We've been in recession since mid 2007 and the real estate market has also turned down since the beginning of that year. The sub-prime borrowers became front page news long ago and the lenders have been reporting losses for several quarters now.

So what has now caused the panic? The media!

Check the constantly appearing stories on the economy. Each one points out the desperate situation of one or another family or business that has hit a particularly rough patch. Our hearts go out to them, and the lesson to be learned from this is that everyone is in the same boat and that you are next. The fear this generates paralyzes everyone.

We all know someone who has lost his job or whose job is teetering on the brink. We all know someone whose house is in or close to foreclosure. We all know a business that has experienced a large drop in sales. But I can't help thinking that if the media were not putting gasoline on the fire, we might all become a bit more optimistic and start spending some money.

Once Again

George Will says it much better than I do. So read this . Everything I have been writing, rolled into one

They Should Be In Jail

I just watched the house committee hearing on the Bernard Madoff case. The SEC sent in a panel of high level directors, mostly lawyers by profession, who clearly resented being questioned by congressmen and in fact, hardly answered any of their questions.

Oh, they talked a lot. They talked a blue streak. They kept talking and mouthing their banalities and irrelevancies which was frustrating to the congressmen. The arrogance of the SEC panel was a sight to see. In the face of allegations of total incompetence and ineptness, they showed no regret or remorse and did not even acknowledge that they had anything to apologize for. It seems incredible to me that they could baldly state that they did everything right in the face of an obvious fraud of massive proportions perpetrated right under their noses when it was their job to discover it and prevent it from continuing.

Congressman Ackerman told them that they were so incompetent that they "couldn't find your backside with two hands with the light on."

I think the SEC did a lot worse. They couldn't have missed this. It must have been deliberate.

The Shape of Things to Come

Notwithstanding some very good reasons why the people of the United States should hate muslims and islam, surprisingly, even in the face of 9/11, very little anti-muslim sentiment is evident in any public or even private pronouncement. Even George Bush and the federal government refrained from demonizing the religion and its adherents.

So why are the arabs so skeptical about Obama's interview will al-arabia television, where he tried to curry arab favor by iterating a family relationship with muslims?

We can't make them happy till all of us are either muslim or dead.

Henny Penny meets Stalin

With the financial earthquakes shaking many previously rock-solid institutions, the fear they have engendered is turning capitalists and conservatives into almoners begging the government to alleviate their pain, in return for which, they are willing to surrender their freedom to the state. I wrote about this in these very pages some time ago, regarding the nature and effects of crises in history.

The opportunists, those who are in the fortunate position to have been voted into office just as the crisis hit, are using the situation to implement the kind of societal controls they could only have dreamed of a few short months ago. In the name of financial repair, they have convinced the public that anti-greenhouse gas cars will solve most, if not all of the problems facing our economy. They have replaced the war on terror with the war on climate.

Of the 8 billion people on earth, how many do you see demanding a drastic emergency battle against global warming. There are some, you see them at demonstrations, but as with AIDS, for every demonstrator for a quick cure, there are dozens of people deliberately getting infected and irresponsibly infecting others. When reality sets in, the cost involved in preventing the sky from falling causes most people, given a choice, to opt out.

USA Today just recently published an article about a politically inspired program to get children to practice "green" living and 700 schools signed up for it. In USA Today's usual fashion, they take two viewpoints and say, this one says this; that one says that. Then, this one thinks this, that one thinks that, and so forth. Very impartial. No one is left with a really good argument that isn't refuted by the other. One of the arguments against the program characterized it as amounting to teaching environmental religion.

USA Today should call things by their proper name. This isn't "teaching." It's indoctrinating. You can "teach" math, you can "teach" science, you can "teach" English, you can "teach" literature, but watch out when someone "teaches" values other than the universally held ones.

After the vote on the stimulus package, John Duncan, a Tennessee republican congressman described it as a bill full of the democrat wish list.It contains all the elements of the political agenda that they have been unable to push through before under president Bush and the evenly divided congress. When Nancy Pelosi was interviewed on television last week, she said she would not apologize for the money in the stimulus plan that was earmarked for family planning (read: abortion) even though it has little to do with economic stimulus. She had the cheek to suggest that the abortion industry also needs some stimulus. Thankfully, this provision was removed from the bill before it was passed.

All this is happening right under the nose of the public who is now so paralyzed by fear that it will allow the government to do anything in the name of warding off the great depression of the twenty-first century.

A Man's throneroom is his castle

I am working on a more serious post, but since I have been informed that I am getting to serious, and I want to keep my readership, and keep them happy, I shall put that on hold to discuss a matter that I have been holding in for a while.

My bathroom.

It is well documented that in a man's castle is his throne. This is where much great thinking is done, as well as introspection, contemplation ( of thoughts and navels, whatever one's fancy) and other matters more mundane.

Now, I was blessed to have a bathroom in my bedroom ( well, not IN the bedroom, but attached to it. Please do NOT be so literal!) when I was growing up. However, I had to share that one with a washing machine instead of a sink, so it was not ideal, but it was close enough. When I moved as a youngster, we had three in the house, as well as sinks outside of the business area, so there was enough space for most activities simultaneously at peak times like school mornings and bedtimes.

Now, when I got married, I only had one, but with just one person to share it with at first, and still for quite some time after the little ones showed up (anywhere they were was their bathroom), there was not much demand for the for my little refuge from the world. Even so, as I had waaay to much time during those days, I put a phone in the bathroom, so that I would never have to go more than 20 feet to answer the phone, to emulate a revered figure in my life, or be interrupted when busy. ( You might ask why I didn't just use a cordless. 2 reasons. 1, you had to remember to take it with you, and 2, with so many kids in the building, the monitors would pick up cordless phone conversations. I spent hours listening.... that's for another time).

When we moved to a 2 bedroom apartment, we were extremely lucky to have a master bathroom, and got so comfortable with it, that it was one of the few requirements I really wanted in a house.

So now I am in a house. With a master bathroom. And two other bathrooms. Six people, three bathrooms, enough for everyone, I should be thrilled, right?

Please.

While it is true that I have a master bathroom, I am no longer the master of the room. For some reason, the other two perfectly good bathrooms are not good enough for my family, and there seems to be a special bond between the children and my sanctuary. Now, keep in mind that when Bug left, we didn't lose a son for a year, we gained a bathroom, as he pretty much had a lock in the main one. But even though you might think that the congestion issue had abated, the traffic through my room has only increased this past year.

Now sometimes I can understand, like this morning, when we had two teenage guests overnight, so there were time constraints on getting the morning toilette done before buses and rides showed up, but I am talking on a regular basis. I don't want to share the bathroom with more than one person. Look at the numbers. I shouldn't have to.

So my question is, what is so darned attractive about the room for everyone? Is it the lovely decor? the newspaper and old readers digest? the baseboard? I don't get it, but every time I want to just sit for a moment and relax, I am shooing someone out, or having to deny the regular requests for access. However, I am not the only one with the keys to the room, and Lovey does not share my deep attachment to the sanctity of the throne. I think this is part of the problem, but one that I am forced to deal with.

I just need my space, even if it is only five by seven.

barack or Hussein?

Now back to something serious, that I just GOT to get out.


I am completely perplexed by Mr. Barry Hussein, as he is lovingly referred to by a dear family member. This guy is either crafty as a fox, in following a plan to deliberately destroy this country, or he is showing himself to be the stupidest ( yes, even taking into account those who hate Bush) and naivest president in our history.


Let me explain. Three recent developments lead me to this analysis. The first is the knee jerk Executive Order to close Gitmo, and the second is his stated policy to possibly allow the states to set emission standards on their own, and the third is his decision to have his first public TV interview on ARAB television.


First, lets take the Gitmo decision. Either he is beyond naive in thinking that by closing Gitmo and saying that we will not torture criminal killers to get information will either endear us to the rest of the world ( who cry at our tactics and generally use tactics far worse themselves), or will get the terrorists to step back and say " gee, he's such a swell guy, lets just find a new satan to direct our murderous tendencies against".) Or there is another play here. Let's move on for now.

The second issue is the emissions. If he allows the states to set policy themselves, then each state will have a different set of rules for the auto companies to follow. They will have to make 50 different sets of modifications for each state, or even if he imposes more insane, stringent policies now, the auto industry will fail for sure, and this will completely destabilize the country, driving us further into a tailspin. Again, this looks like complete idiocy and naivety, to give in to a different kind of terrorist, the eco-tree hugging kind. Or there is another play here. Let's move on.

The third boneheaded decision of this great orator was to go on Arab TV and apologize for the American people. I also heard him quoted that he has the job of telling Americans that Muslims just want to be the best Muslims they can be, or some crap like that. I was under the impression that his job was to defend and protect THIS country, but what do I know, i didn't vote for the saviour. Again, this was either extremely naive, to think that the Arabs see this as a good gesture, or there is another play here.

Points one and three will of course backfire, since these people do not see compassion and decency as anything other than weakness, and I seriously fear another attack on our homeland because of it ( remember the USS Cole and Somalia, for recent examples of our public shows of weakness, which led to 9-11) Point two can only hurt this country, something that the idiotic liberals in Hollywood and Washington have to be able to get through their thick heads.

But what really concerns the conspiracy theorists, and scares me if G-d forbid, there is a shred of credibility to their rants, is that this is all planned. As part of the bigger plot to honor his ( sometimes, maybe, perhaps, but only as a child, and its only my middle name) religion, to kowtow to radicals, making their job of recruiting against us easier, and to allow for the destabilization of this country, and hand it to our enemies.

I hope I am wrong, but either way, we lose.

So long, Mr. Bush, and G-dspeed

heard the final press conference of President Bush a few days ago. Now as some of you may know, I have always been a big fan of the President and have agreed with most of his policies and positions. During the press conference, I was struck by his wit, warmth, courtesy for the press corps, grasp of the issues, and genuine concern for the success of Mr. Obama. Of course, some of his mangling of the language was to be expected, ("misunderestimated me" comes to mind), but overall he was well spoken, thoughtful and introspective. Even when he declined to answer a question about pardons, he told the person asking the question that he wasn't going to discuss pardons, but asked her if she had a different question she would like to ask.

Additionally, what I have most gotten from all reports and anecdotal information about the man ( and his first lady) are their "down homeness", openness, genuineness when dealing face to face, and his desire that those around him feel comfortable.

Furthermore, on the issue of Israel, I don't think we will see another president in this generation who was so absolutely behind the Jewish State, and allowed them to do what they had to do without interference.

So I would like to take this opportunity now that the time to serve the American People has come to an end for this fine upstanding man to publicly express my thanks to him for all he has done good for this Country and the world. Good luck to you and G-d bless you and America.

I feel we are gonna need that more than ever now.

GEESE II

I really think that it is time to lift any and all restrictions, rules and regulations that there are or might be concerning the protection of Canadian Geese. Apparently, I have found out where the geese have gone when they left the fields of Rockland County. Refresh your memory here



There was a plane crash about an hour ago into the Hudson River. From what I have been hearing, there have not been any serious casualties. Thank G-d. What the news is reporting is that the plane hit a flock of geese, and the geese knocked out two engines. If we allowed for some kind of normal control of these pests, ( or squirrels with wings, rats with beaks, etc.) or just plain bashing of them, we might make things less hospitable for them, and they will go the hell back to Canada.



At least we can assume that the plane took out at least two of them .

I did not really hear that

For all of you out there in Doctor Greunkernland who might have been wondering where I have gone, ( except for that quicky about my personal bugaboo, the geese) I have just been busy, but I am back now ( I can hear the fanfare throughout the land).



Perhaps this post would be more appropriate on another, sort-of secret site, were that site my creation. But as I feel one of my duties is to educate as well and rant and entertain, I will put it here, and maybe the blog administrator over there will steal it and put it there as well.

Yesterday I received a call on my cell. I missed the call, so I called the number back, thinking I knew who it was because it was a similar number to someone I wanted to talk to. Alas, it was a young post high school scholar from a well known Brooklyn institution of higher learning. I asked if he called me, and he informed me that someone had borrowed his phone. I asked him who, or what his name was, but I was unable to understand his terse and somewhat confusing replies. I hung up, and thought that the little unpleasant episode was over.

How wrong of me.

A few minutes later, the phone rings, and it is the same number. I pick up the phone, anticipating that all of the burning questions that were left hanging previously will now become clear to me. The caller identifies himself, thereby clearing up the confusion as to whose name was mumbled to me by the first guy, and then asked me if I was going home to the Rockland area.

As I live there, I do attempt to get home at some point, but never know exactly when. And when one arrives at work after the clock is showing double digits, five o'clock just doesn't seem fair to an employer. He tells me where he lives, which is completely on the other side of town, but I'm already out, and I can change my route, so that isn't really a big deal.

Now, dear reader, I ask you, what should be the next question? I posit to you that it should be
"Where are you, and how can I get to you, so you don't have to wait or be inconvenienced or taken out of your way, since you are doing me a favor" ( perhaps some of that could be inferred from "where are you", but, as usual, I digress)

However, the question I got was " Can you pick me up?"

I was stupefied.

I feel that is something that is for me to offer, not for this young man to ask. It would have taken me 15 minutes to get there, and ten minutes extra from there back to the highway. Not outrageous, but I am tired at the end of the day, and it could be rather late, and that is not the point anyway.

Well, I said I guess I could, but I would rather avoid driving into Boro Park if I don't have to, and besides, there is a bus that comes pretty close to me. He told me he is a suburban kid who really doesn't take city buses. ( It sounds worse than it was, he was polite and not at all obnoxious, but the whole conversation was a bit surreal). I said we'll see but I could leave anywhere from 6-8ish ( I actually left 8:45), so he said he would take an alternative route home.

What are we teaching our kids, and is no one explaining to them basic courtesy? We are told to do acts of kindness, but for kids to demand them, it seems a bit odd. I hate to put people out, and will do everything I can to avoid it, who do our children feel everything is their right??? Sometimes its just personality, but why aren't the schools these children attending stressing need to be concerned about others instead of themselves, especially when asking for a favor?


I was considering this post graduate program for one of my sons, I am glad THAT didn't work out.

In the world of mules.....

If it wouldn't be for the unwritten code here at Dr. Greunkern against using obscene language in our posts, I would have spiced up this piece with what I really think of Ehud Olmert. Restrained as I am by the aforementioned protocol from giving full range to my vocabulary, I will use the strongest terms I possibly can in describing this caricature of a decent human being.

"Jerk" and "fool" don't seem to carry enough punch. Pompous, bombastic, blustering, self-inflated, hubristic jerk is a bit better.

What, you may ask, engenders this kind of description? (Remember, this is a euphemism)

Read this, or in synopsis, this is what happened. Olmert has claimed that Condoleeza Rice was going to vote in favor of the security council's resolution calling for a cease fire. He further claims that he dragged President Bush, who was making a speech, off the podium to take his call by demanding to speak with him immediately. Mr. Bush is a humble man and probably did take his call even though he was in front of an audience at the time. The purpose of Olmert's call was to order President Bush to order Ms. Rice to abstain in the security council. Ms. Rice claims that the story is a fabrication and that she meant to abstain all along.

Regardless of the truth in this matter - and I tend to believe the Secretary of State against a known liar and slimy and corrupt politician - someone should point out to this boastful, fatheaded braggart that currently, the only nation completely supporting Israel in its Gaza adventure is the United States. Someone should also let him know, if the information can even penetrate the mush he has for brains, that you don't deliberately insult the only ally you have even if your purpose is to publicly aggrandize yourself.

A new administration is due to take over the United States in less than a week. If you were the new secretary of state, how much of a limb would you climb onto for this weasel and his country if you could expect such embarrassment as your reward?

It's amazing that Israel, full of educated and intelligent people chose such a clueless stupid boastful moron to be their leader. Even more amazing is that he is still in power after the criminal botching of the Lebanon war.

Green Eyed Monster

I recently wrote in these pages that we ought to rename the upcoming holiday in honor of Stephen Milles whose act of note was to attempt to throw his shoes at the chairman of the MTA in a parody of Islam's greatest insult. I got some real flack about this, mainly because the commenter felt it was an insult to the memory of a "great american." The commenter missed my point so now I will clarify it.

Stephen Milles is a great guy because he is someone who finally had the courage to oppose the MTA, who have been riding roughshod on the backs of suburban commuters for years while feathering their own cushy, highly paid, boondoggles. (To mix some metaphors, but you get what I mean). Realizing that their old ways of taking money from the riding public using the threat of service cutbacks no longer appeals to a formerly docile ridership, they have switched tactics to engage the current craze for saving the planet from climate change and proposing a "green" monthly ticket which will resonate with some doomsday fanatics to get them to voluntarily part with their money. We all know where the money will ultimately end up. Obviously they now feel that begging will do more for them than protection-racket type tactics.

The fact that they can even propose such a funding plan illustrates how far the green craze has developed. Very early in the game, I realized that Rachel Carson would be responsible for a movement as powerful and dangerous as nazism and communism. In the short 48 years since the publication of "Silent Spring," the educational establishment worldwide has successfully indoctrinated 2 generations of the world's population who are ready to die for environmentalism. I recently heard a news story on BBC where an Australian woman with a heavy German accent was bemoaning what to her seemed the imminent disappearance of a beach on the Aussie coast. Climate change and rising seas are now so accepted as truths that some people really believe that a beach will vanish before their eyes. What they expect the beach to be replaced with is anybody's guess. This attitude reminds me of an incident with my (then) ten year-old son who ran into the house one day slamming the door because he spotted a moth and he had just donned his new wool suit. He explained that he didn't want the moth to eat his suit.

Not only is this climate change nonsense ludicrous but it's leading some of our more level headed political and financial leaders into some massive mistakes. The New York Times just reported that Detroit has decided to risk billions of dollars to develop an all electric car which they are not sure will sell. I am sure that the impetus for this decision comes from the recent congressional and media discussions about the bailout of the auto companies. Every report on the issue mentioned that the auto companies were not doing enough in the field of green technology as if that was the cause of their financial difficulties. If they go ahead with the electric car, they will really be in the soup!

Who, in his right mind is going to buy a car which will go 100 miles and then require a 6 hour stopover to recharge so that it can go another 100 miles. The article states that most people drive an average of 35 miles per day. Take a typical retired couple in Michigan that use their car to go to the local Wal-Mart, go to church on Sunday and maybe once in a while go to the big city to have dinner and go to a movie. They also drive to Sarasota every winter and spend 4 months there where they use their car in the same manner. It would take them 10 days to get down there and also ten days to get back. Even if they could manage more than 100 miles a day, what do they do during the six hours they are plugged in? Or take the case of a family in Des Moines that wants to visit the Mall of America for the weekend. The weekend would be over before they got there!

I hope they don't build this car. After all, with the bailout, it will be our money they're risking.

Once Again, the World Complains

Don't you breathe a sigh of relief and sleep easily knowing that the world has become very sensitive to civilian harm and even to military casualties. We read daily of horrific losses on the magnitude of 2 soldiers killed and several non-combatants wounded and how unacceptable these casualties are even in wartime. War today is something which only allows for the destruction of a few buildings, burning of a few fields, but once that gets out of hand, it is time to stop the war.

Compare that with the figures from the two world wars. During the Somme offensive in 1916, there were over 1 million casualties with about 300,000 killed from June to November and during the general conflict of those times figures are cited which range into the tens of millions of deaths as a result of the fighting. Not all of them soldiers by any means.

During the second world war, London was severely bombed by the Germans, twice in fact, once at the beginning and then towards the end, and Coventry was devastated by fire bombing. The US pounded Dresden to rubble, and the Russians did the same in the fighting for Berlin. No one called for a cease fire.

Only when Hiroshima and Nagasaki fell victim to the awesome power of the atom, which caused the deaths of over 200,000 civilians, was there a call for ending the fighting and that was for a surrender, not a cease fire. The war resulted in 55 million deaths.

Which makes things quite puzzling when we hear cries of outrage that a few civilians who were being used as human shields by the same sort of people who wantonly murdered, unprovoked, close to 3,000 civilians going about their daily business in New York's World Trade Center, are killed in the line of fire. Outrage at whom? At those fighting a fair war against a brutal, cynical, cowardly enemy who use women and children as cover for their nefarious activities. In previous wars, the populations of the warring countries were the enemy, civilian or uniformed combatant. They supported, for the most part, the aims of their leaders and were complicit in what they did. They deseved to be targeted and everyone understood that.

How much more so in Hamas controlled Gaza where the people voted these murderers in. There are no uniformed soldiers, just killers cast in the role of freedom fighters who blend in with the rest of the population who actively support and aid them. So now the world hides behind the most overused words in the global media: "Humanitarian Crisis." I guess that's what you get when you start a war. There are some legitimate crises in the world, natural disasters, planned genocides and the like. If I were Israel, I wouldn't be too concerned about world opinion. The world did nothing when 500,000 people were senselessly slaughtered in Rwanda and untold numbers have been deliberately targeted, killed and maimed in the Sudan. There was a lot of talk but very little action.

Both sides always come to the table with complaints about the other, but in the end there is always the understanding of who is right and who is wrong. It is usually quite clear. In the Hamas - Israel war, Hamas will never give up their fanatical devotion to murder and mayhem. The only solution is to pound them into surrender where they can join the ranks of their brutish German and Japanese predecessors.

Hello? it's your body calling

As most of you have already heard, I recently had the opportunity to assist a little girl in into the world. ( I know one of you is going "big deal, been there, done that" but not most of you)

As others of you may have heard as well, another call ended in the patient, after spirited, and fortunately for him, less spirited objection, took our advice and agreed to go to the hospital.

There were no obvious signs that would indicate an immediate need to go to the hospital, but the EMTs were just not comfortable leaving him home, because little things just didn't feel right to them.

However, about 2 minutes after moving the patient from the ambulance stretcher to the hospital gurney, he went into cardiac arrest.

Even more fortunately for him, as G-d was clearly smiling upon him, the episode occurred in front of a doctor, who immediately set the procedures in motion to work on him, and within 5 minutes, this man was alive again and talking.

So what is the point, and what is the common theme of these two stories?

The lessons that I am trying to impart upon you, dear readers, is that you should not ignore either what you bodies tell you, or your gut feelings in such matters as health. If it is obvious (gee, where DID that baby just show up from?), that's one thing, but usually it isn't, and if something feels really off with you, don't ignore it and contact the appropriate medical personnel immediately. The same goes for you parents out there, when dealing with your children. The worst that will happen is a waste of a few hours, and possibly feeling ( or even looking slightly) foolish.

But it sure beats the alternatives.