NO!

I know I have posted on the Courts and judges in the past. The beauty is they are a constant source of material.


I had a tenant call me recently telling me she couldn't make a date for next week. I told her I would be in Court the next day, and she should meet me there, perhaps we could work out something for a mutually agreeable date.

When we got to Court, we started discussing the matter, and hit a snag, so I suggested that we put the case in front of the judge, since the issue the tenant had was over something that the judge had put in her head the previous time.

Now, this is a very busy courtroom, which handles all of one type of case, and there are specific days when general cases are heard. This day was not a general day case, and the courtroom was indeed busy.

So the judge calls the case, i spend about one minute explaining the issue, and all I have left to say is "we need a new date, but I need the tenant to agree to one thing."

However, before I have a chance to get this out, the judge goes on a five minute rant as to who had the audacity to put the case before her, since it isn't on the calendar, and she is TOO BUSY to deal with it, and look how crowded the courtroom is and she can't, she just cannot, under any circumstances deal with the issue.

Had she actually let me finish the ten seconds I had left, and given us 30 more seconds to straighten out the issue, all would have been resolved, but she preferred to make a five minute speech how she was too busy to do that.

We like to think that our judges, especially since they make decisions that affect lives, would be more than just pencil pushing bureaucrats, but alas

Maybe this post belongs on the other site....

Yawn

Once again, I am happy to see that SOMEONE checks this site, and then sends me nasty comments as to why haven't I posted anything lately.

My snarky answer is "if I got a comment ON THE BLOG once in a while, to know that there are still people out there interested....". However, the sad truth is that I have been very busy, and by the time I have my pithy comments and observations all ready to go, it is, like, three in the morning, and I am not by a computer. More likely I am tossing and turning in bed, wishing the soundtrack in my head would quiet down, and come back in the morning, which, of course, it never does. Until the NEXT night at three in the morning.

Which leads me to the issue of snoring, or my being accused of it on a somewhat regular basis.
I don't think i snore, I have never heard myself snore, no one has taped me, and i am not in the habit of taping myself. However, very often, around four o'clock, shortly after falling asleep following the tossing and turning episode, with an entire blog written in my head, I am rudely shouted at to wake up! Allegedly due to snoring.

My response to that is, of course, I WASN'T SNORING! followed by the observation, that even if I had been, since it will now take about three hours for my heart to stop racing, there is little chance of me falling back to sleep, and therefore, little chance of me allegedly snoring again.

However, the entire snoring debate was succinctly put into perspective for me the other day, when I was talking to someone and commented that I am usually tired. Without knowing the real reason (being woken up) that person said to me " Do you snore, no, let me rephrase that, do OTHERS TELL YOU that you snore?"

I guess the denial is not just on my end, but with most or all snorers.

I hope this hasn't put you to sleep, but if it has, please do so quietly!

Maybe they just got the date wrong.

Two very interesting news items that I recently saw and heard pretty much sum up the state of the current presidency.

The first item is that the administration is digging up dirt on a prospective opponent. Irrespective of the the fact that the alleged opponent has stated many times he is not running, this does not prevent the Chicago street thug political tactics from surfacing once again.

The second item was an interview I heard on the radio, in which the foreign affairs expert ( worked for Kissinger and Nixon) stated that the front runner of the elections in Egypt was the Muslim brotherhood, since they were the only political party able to form under Mubarak. And one of their first orders of business will be to renege on the peace treaty with Israel. Gee, you think? Something I said would happen right after the uprising.

This, of course, does not even factor in the First Jackwagon's idiotic stance on Israel, which of course, he backtracked on the next day.

So basically it shows that we have a president who has no idea what the heck he is doing, but he sure knows how to fight dirty to keep his job.

I don't think the country can survive four more years of this.

Wanna Bet?

I am going to take a definitive stand here . (Like I usually don't??...)

I am unequivocally stiting that the world will not come to an end this Weekend. I am even willing to bet with any of the doomsday believers that this is the case. The way I see it, it is a win-win situation.

In the event that I am correct, and these people who believe that all is lost this weekend are wrong, then they should pay off on the bet. The only problem will be that they have already spent all their money anticipation that they wouldn't need it past Sunday, and they have probably quit their jobs, so they will have no income coming in, and who in their right minds would hire such nut jobs going forward? But al least I would be right.

And if they are correct, Who will be around to tell me I was wrong and collect on the bet?

OF BULLIES AND COWARDS

We have become a nation of cowards led by a man of the same bent.

Assuring the muslim world that we have no fight with Islam, begs the question. We obviously have serious differences with Islam in whose name most of the terrorist acts of the past 20 years have been perpetrated. But we also know that if we tell the truth we will be threatened and attacked by its violent believers. We have to lie to keep ourselves safe.

It's painful to stand by and wait while the White House debates how to prove the death of Bin Ladin without offending muslim "sensibilities." I suggest we declare all out war and let them be insulted. If we are to remain a great nation and if the world is to remain relatively safe, we can no longer kowtow to the "arab street" or the bombastic threats of their bullies.

Affirmative Action or Racism?

I can't seem to get away from the politics, but that is all you hear about on the radio, and I need to write something that willl get the commenters busy ( other than waffles).

First, the wedding. yes it takes the horros of teh weather off the front pages, but is it really so terrible to lead with a feel good story once in a while? i think not.

Now on to the latest Trump issue. He is now being called a racist for questioning whether our leader had the grades to get in to Harvard on his own. Huge outcry (from the left, of course, nicely cloaked in the suposed respectability of "mainstream media"), much hand wringing.

Let me ask you something, what the heck did these people THINK would happen when the people who were the beneficiaries of affirmative aaction eventually suceeded? The program championed by the left to help "the little people"? OF COURSE everyone who might have, or did benefit would be suspect, taht is the whole nature of the program. lets push less qualified people in, and once in, see if they can live up the the expectations. There is nothing wrong with that, but the question still remains, did they deserve the push based onthe criteria set up by those institutions.

I remember seeing an article about a doctor who was featured as the success story of the affirmative action programs who had opened clinics in depressed areas. A few years later he had his license revoked for unbeleivable incompetence.

My own case in point was in law school.

I had a minority friend who definitely did not have the grades or the LSAT scores to meet the criteria of my law school. They took him in. He was a phenomenal writer, and my partner for a moot court competition. He was so good that he wrote on to the Law Review, which is no easy feat. I guess he did okay is school ( i didn't discuss grades with him). However, I lost track of him after the bar exam. Never saw his name on the passed rolls, never found him as an attorney, and have no idea what happened to him.

So if he couldn't pass the bar, what was the point of taking the slot away from someone more deserving with the grades and scores who never got the opportunity to become a lawyer? And had he suceeded, would people not have wondered how he got to where he was? And would that human tendency to wonder be wrong? The only thing wrong is that those minority students who DID have the grades and scored would be tainted with the same brush of doubt, wrongfully so.

The problem is not Trump questioning, the problem is that there is such a mechanism in place that allows him to.

The Birther Movement is Dead

Now that Donald Trump has forced the president to finally realease documents he should have a long time ago if he were even remotely serious about not prolonging the issue, I am left with one thought...

He is a home grown product. How sad.

Family is Everywhere

The previous post was to calm down the family members sending me nasty messages that I haven't posted anything in quite some time. I also question the current (lack of ) American foreign policy, but enough of that.

I met Soupeater in a store on Sunday. He informed me that I was the third branch of a family that he had met that day in three different stores, having run into a brother in law (of mine) in one store and a sister (again, of mine) in another store. Although the odds of this happening are not minimal, it is not so outrageous, as we all live in the same town and basically frequent the same establishments.

As I was driving to work on Monday on the Palisades, and thinking how I could get the preceding thought into a blog, the car behind me gave one quick flash. I moved over. The car did not pass me, which I thought odd (but prudent, as I was at the max, and any faster is a risk of a ticket). As I approached the slow moving cars in the right lane, I got back in front of the car. I then moved over again, and this time, the car did as well. This was quite odd. Until a hand started waving at me as that car exited on the right. I looked over.


It was a another sister. (of mine, not Soupeaters)

Small, but lovely, world to live in.

question for the CIC

No attacks on America, no threat of an attack on America, No unprovoked ethnic cleansing, no threatening of surrounding countries, no additional instability threatening a region, just a country dealing with its citizens who a protesting and rebelling with weapons. Why are we in Libya?

LOOK OUT !

Ace is on the loose.

Ace just got her license. The examiner was ( as per Ace ) beyond obnoxious, and had the audacity to tell her (gasp!) that she really isn't a good driver. ( I could have told her that). Nevertheless, after telling her she wasn't any good, and has trouble following directions (I could have told her that as well) the examiner decided to pass her. I think just so he doesn't have to suffer through another road test with her.

However, now starts the business of actually making sure we are comfortable enough with the way Ace drives to actually trust her with a car on her own.

It could be a while.

7,000. Wow

Actually, the WOW factor doesn't really fir, but since that is how we mark the milestones here at the good Doctor, I am keeping it for now. However, as the numbers are mixed, I might drop it. Or add a frowny face. Here is how the numbers stack up.

We hit 5,000 around July 1, and 6,000 around November 1. Now we are mid March and a few away from 7,000 hits. This is a 4/12 month difference, as opposed to a five month gap last time. That is good.

However, we are now approximately 3,480 hits behind the other blog that I like to trend against to see how I am doing, so in 4.5 months, we lost 100 hits on them. I know that in the past all index numbers were down, but lately they had been coming up, so I would expect a jump in our numbers as well.

So thank you all for reading and checking, and we will try to get to 8,000 quicker, which would probably happen if I actually wrote something more than just once in a while.

And as stated in the past, we need more comments to keep things lively.

VINDICATION!

So its all over the the news today, Mayor Moron has the WORST approval rating of his (seems like) 27 year tenure abusing us. 51% of New Yorkers disapprove of the job being done. This probably includes people from Manhattan as well. I guess people who can no longer drive, park eat what they want or smoke anywhere in the city have finally had enough of the ham handed tactics that he employs to force his agenda on all of us. I would assume if you took out the Manhattanites, his rating would be more like 70% unfavorable. And if you included all the people who work in the city but commute in, it would be more like 90%. Which proves what I said a while ago...

The only person who likes him is himself.

Don't Give

I am not in the habit of contributing to public radio - much as I like their programming - because I don't want my money used to encourage the internal and external enemies of the United States.

Likewise, it irks me that fund drive rhetoric demonizes and characterizes all commercial (those that will create profit for someone) ads as bad. Especially since they are vastly more informative than the ads usually carried by public radio stations that serve very little useful purpose but appeal to the left wing public radio management because they are not tainted by filthy lucre. The droning, formulaic, audio equivalent of the financial industry's "tombstone ads" are the most annoying aspect of public radio. Almost any other ads would be preferable.

The bottom line on all this is that the public stations are indulging in the worst kind of elitism, pushing their central agenda that elitist, culturally oriented ads are more acceptable than ads for drugs, computers, shoes or replacement windows. In my opinion, anything is better than a full week of repeating the station's phone number 120 times an hour interspersed with fervent begging.

The redeeming nugget of interest in the WQXR's recent fund raising drive, and the reason for this post, was a most original and innovative ad for public radio fund raising. Alec Baldwin (the actor not the rebel) encourages you in a deadpan voice to not give... and at the end of his really entertaining monologue says 'and here is the number NOT to call..."
Listen to it Here (Click on "Don't give" audio)

I liked it so much, I am considering sending them a small token donation.

Other Matters

I have been called to task by one of my "lurkers", ( a term I have been branded on facebook, since I read but usually do not comment) that there are too many blogs about waffles. However, I have found that my other posts get even less of a response than the waffle ones do, even if the comments are from family members with no patience.

I have tried different topics, politics, the idiotic mayor of New York, driving and court stories, to name a few, but the beauty of the waffle quest is that it is a theme that has constant updates. I mean, how many ways can you say the president is an incompetent fool and the mayor a self important moron???

Be that as it may, if I actually received responses to the posts, I might be inclined to talk about other topics. I mean, its not like there aren't other blogs that DO talk about all kinds of different random topics, usually headed with one work, and consisting of one to three paragraphs.

So comment away, dear readers, and I will continue to post on all and sundry topics.

And waffles.

The Possble End of the Perfect Waffle Quest II

So since my commenters have the patience of mayflies on line at the DMV, I shall continue the saga here.

After obtaining the recipe for the Rimon Belgian Waffle it was time to come home and pull out the ace card, basically, a recipe from the SIL of Dipsy, a frequent and ardent reader of this site. After hearing accolades from all those who ate this delectable delight, it was time to try it. Although it is not even slightly fat free ( 1/4 cup oil, 4 eggs) it didn't have 27 pounds of butter, so I decided to give it a chance.

DISCLAIMER AND POSSIBLE PART III, I have never actually completely made any of the recipes that DID call for butter, so I can't say the quest is done, you lucky readers! This hobby (obsession?) could go on for MONTHS or YEARS!....

Back to the waffles at hand. So I made the recipe, nice, really thick batter, and I put it in the machine. It smelled lovely. When it came out, it wasn't the usual soggy mess, it seems to have a real crispiness and weight to it. I bit in. So did the tasters.

It was OK.

Unfortunately, it didn't have the WOW factor that we were looking for, it certainly had the best texture of any we had made, and there was more taste than the usual ones ( except for, surprisingly, the fat free one with apple sauce and apple juice, which still had the most flavor, albeit apples).

So we tried to doll it up with a bit of honey ( a Rimon ingredient) some Splenda and cinnamon. Still OK. However, then I decided, since the batter was so thick, to put chocolate bits INTO the batter.

EUREKA!!! WOW!!!!

THAT truly hit the spot, the chocolaty goodness inside the crispiness of the waffle, with the inherent sweetness of the bits made the eating experience phenomenal.

So for now, without the butter waffles, or having tried to re-create the Rimon experience, we are sticking with the Batter from Far Rockaway with chocolate chips as the leader of the quest.

the Possble End of the Perfect Waffle Quest I

I know it may seem odd to number a post from the outset, but I know this is going to be a two parter. I was in Israel as many of you know. In the past, there had been much talk about the famous Rimon Belgian Waffle, so as part of the quest for the perfect waffle, I needed to go and taste this supposedly wonderful waffle. The added reason was that in each taste test, anyone who had actually had the Rimon waffle would constantly compare my offerings to this outstanding gastronomical achievement.

So I went there one evening, suitably hungry so I could achieve the full of effect of wonderfulness. I ordered the waffle with great anticipation ( and of course, a speech for the poor waitress as to WHY I was compelled to order it as a main dish, and not a dessert). The waffle arrived, and here is a picture.

Each square is filled with either a white or regular chocolate sauce, there are the two scoops of Ice cream, and the stuff on the plate is extra sauce, shaved chocolate, and confectioners sugar. Bug claims that they changed the presentation a bit, in the past it was one long waffle, with a checkerboard of sauces, but I would assume the taste would be the same. After admiring it for a bit, I took a bite.

WOW.

It really was quite good, and the first waffle I had tasted that actually had both texture AND taste. Suffice it to say it didn't last long on the plate.

I had decided previously to try to get the recipe. When I initially ordered it, (after the speech) I asked the waitress if I could get the recipe, but she didn't think so. After she brought it, she said that I might be able to get it, as the manager had said it was OK, but the chef that makes the batter was no longer there ( it was 9 at night). So I should try back in the morning, when he would be there.

I went back at 8:30 the next morning, but hew was not in yet, they told me to try back in a few hours. I finally got there at 2, and although the place was hopping busy, the manager on duty went in to the kitchen and actually got me the recipe. However, there were no amounts given, so I won't share the recipe here.

However, I will keep you all posted as I experiment with the ingredients to see if I can re-create the taste. Stay tuned.....

Political Tidbits

Before I get started on my trip. ( which was wonderful, thanks for wondering to yourself) I have to address two things. ( one might show up somewhere else as well..) Today there was a motorcycle and three bus accident in the Lincoln Tunnel. Two hour delay. You might think that in anticipation of the insane traffic that will follow closing one of the tubes, there will be alternative traffic elsewhere. So lay off the morning construction on the main arteries, right? Well folks, this in New York, Home to the richest short dictator. West Side Highway, the alternative route into the city when the tunnel is really backed up, had then setting up one late closure.

At least none of the workers just hanging around weren't smoking, which segues into the next thought, preceded by a joke,

In Egypt, they claim to have less freedom than here, but there they can actually smoke in public.

Which leads to the middle east, and this first jackwagons middle east policy, or complete lack thereof. He doesn't seem to have the slightest clue how to deviate from the Jimmy Carter handbook, which worked out soooo we for us the last time around. He works hard to bring down our allies, and uses kid gloves with our enemies that are already trying to uproot Israel. Does this seem to make any sense to anyone not a liberal? Please explain.

More on the beautiful country of Israel next.

Impressions while on a trip

Did you ever notice that announcements made on a plane by a male member of the cabin crew are usually delivered in a prissy, effeminate style? Then did you also notice, the resonant, deep throated, altogether all-american male voice and diction which comes through the loudspeaker as the captain get on the horn?

The dissimilarity is almost intentionally a parody, emphasizing the virility of the plane's pilot. You feel safe, confident, sure that someone (Snoopy's World War I ace) is in control, while your personal needs are attended to by the more wifely types which push the carts up and down the aisles.

There are distinctions among the male cabin attendants as well. There is the bully, hectoring you to "TURN OFF THAT SWITCH - OFF - OH EFF EFF." There is the mincer, (difficult to describe in words) "Would you like something to drink?" while bending his pinky and pursing his lips. There is the comedian, his unintelligible words spilling out in a cacophony of deep southern sounds with "Please use caution when opening the overhead bins because you know, shift happens." (At least that was funny.) Give me the pilot any day.

Alabama was cold, below freezing at night. Not exactly unusual but they've had a lot of it this year and that is unusual. I got out just ahead of a major snowstorm which is unusual even for February.

Things must be pretty bad in Florida. One sees people standing on street corners holding signs suspended from their necks, advertising, "We Buy Gold, Highest Prices Paid," or "CARWASH! $6.95." It occurred to me that they have to stand outdoors for hours carrying these large signs which can't be too light, in rain, extreme heat, wind, all to earn, what? $5.00 an hour? $7.00? How inhumane. Like being in the stocks or the pillory, except even worse, they want passersby to notice them. It's a rough way to make a living.

South Florida was great, real convertible weather. Too bad I couldn't stay.

After You, Sir.

I see that no one saw fit to comment on the last post. Although I should take that as a sign that no one wants to read my political rants here, I shall choose to interpret it that you all agree with me.

With that in mind, coupled with the fact that I am getting hoarse screaming at my radio whenever the Egyptian "crisis" is mentioned. I must post again on the issue, since lots seems to have happened recently.

Aside from the press making mountains out of this issue, it appears that the US is doomed to repeat the mistakes of the past, or should I specify that the great student of history, our current leader, is doomed, in his arrogance at thinking he knows everything better, to repeat the mistakes of the president he so closely resembles ( in politics at least) Jimmy Carter.

I heard a clip today of the late great president, Ronald Reagan, saying how he felt the US made a tremendous blunder in not supporting the Shah, and look what followed. This is of course a similar situation. The first Jackwagon has already thrown one of our allies under the bus, ( along with most everyone he has ever been affiliated with, but that is another, much older post) and the news is that we are in talks with Egyptian leaders to work on the succession of Mubarak, who, in the eyes of the State Department, has already resigned, since we asked him to so nicely.

The only things Mubarak has done to us is been a staunch ally to the US, and not hammered Israel more that is necessary to save face among the Arabs. This, of course, ( being an ally to the USA while G.W. Bush was president) is the ultimate crime in the eyes of our idiotic leader. Therefore, he must go, and another country must be destabilized, so that the vacuum can be filled by Islamic radicals.

Can we not see where this is going? Haven't we been down this road before? Or is it the master plan of the current American regime?

I am herewith formally requesting that the President of the United States resign. Based on the way they operate, he should willingly leave, since I asked so nicely.

Lets Rouse some Rabble

Now that my thoughts are focused on the middle east, I just want to comment a little on what is going on over there.

I cannot believe that the left wing liberal press is really so incredibly stupid to believe that all the rabble rousing going on in Egypt ( and for that matter, Lebanon and Tunisia) is for people that are DESPERATE for democracy.

From this vantage point, the only thing that currently fills a power vacuum in that part of the world are extremists. Oh sure, sometimes they couch it initially as democracy, but you can be sure that if there are open elections, and these extremists get into power, it won't be a democracy for long, or it might be a democracy, but not for women.

I think they are brilliant, these fundamentalists. Not 0nly do they have the people believe that they need change ( and see how well THAT worked out for us here), but they thumb their noses at the US, by saying it is all for democracy, when it is clear to me that they are just causing unrest so that they can take over one of the few stable countries in the region.

I hope I am completely wrong about this. I worry that I am not.

Jerusalem is Calling

I met one of my avid followers, who accosted me and DEMANDED that I post something. She was somewhat mollified by the previous post, and it is good to see Soupeater back in the writing saddle, but gave me a hard time for the previous title just popping up every time she checked the site "Sad Music, Sad Music, enough already!"

So now I have written this and satisfied my obligation to her. However, I think I should perhaps add something of substance as well.

The good Doctor is going on the road! This is big news, as I really don't get out much. I am heading for the holy land for a quick spiritual recharge. The funny thing is I didn't realize how much i needed to go until Friday afternoon.

There is a song by journeys about Jerusalem that always choked me up when I heard it. It reminded me of my time there, and how I wished to go back. Eventually, i did make it back, and try to go every few years now. I haven't heard the song in a while, but Ace said they were using it in her concert.

Even so, as of a few weeks ago, when she told me, I had no real reaction to the song. However, on Friday we were singing a few bars, and as I now have the date set for my trip, I felt myself getting quite emotional at my return to the holy city.

I can't wait to go.

Choose Life!

which do you prefer?

Wonderland indeed!

Every time it snows, especially in suburban or rural areas, someone is bound to look out the window and exclaim, "Oh, a winter wonderland!" And, admittedly, it does look pretty, everything white and pristine and sometimes, toward evening, with a lit up house in the background one idealizes the scene of a family, warmed by and cozied up to the fire while winter rages outside.

Enough!

I prefer a summer wonderland. Where the lawn is green, the trees are in full leaf giving shade and visual pleasure to the eye, flowers are blooming and the sun shines its blessings on the earth. No coats to wear, no snow to shovel, no ice to slip on. Winter is only black and white, stark and unfriendly, bare and dead. Summer is colorful, vibrant, full of life.




Choose life.

Sad Music

I was listening to streaming music at my desk yesterday. There is a very disturbing trend in Jewish music that really isn't new, but it is bothersome. It is the use of English music with Hebrew words. Allow me to explain.


Without thinking too much into how I know these things, there was a Hebrew ( modern Hebrew, thank goodness, not words of Tanach) set to a Lady Gaga song. This was bad enough. However, what really got me was a Lecha Dodi set to a medley of Beatles songs. Now that was very well done, but it is still inappropriate.


I remember years ago singing something in Shul to a beautiful popular song, and afterwards Soupeater informed me that it was not appropriate to use popular songs during prayers.


Unfortunately, most people do not have someone to tell them what is proper, or worse, a song gets into our consciousness and them it spirals into more and more inappropriate settings. Such as the Beach Boy song that a kid sang for Kedusha, and when we called him on it, he told us it was a D'ror Yikra niggun, so that is what he was singing. I am not sure he even realized it was a popular English song.


This should be differentiated from the Variations and Country Yossie lines of music, which are clearly meant as spoofs of popular music, and clever plays on the originals. They do not usually creep into our davening though.


It's just sad that our rich heritage is being infused with this music due to the laziness, lack of creativity and larceny of our popular musicians today.

Do They Use Blood in Tea?

What was a blood libel? It was the hysterical knee jerk reaction to something horrible, where the blame was erroneously but deliberately placed against the "usual suspects" with actions them taken against the accused knowing the basis for the claim had NOTHING to do with them.

Now lets see how this plays out. A horrific shooting by an unstable mentally sick individual. The liberal press immediately claims it is the work of an "extremist" (extreme what is not said, just assumed that he is a tea partyer, since there is a gun involved). Then the fault is squarely put at the feet of the Tea Party movement since their rhetoric is SOOOOO inflammatory.

Of course, the entire line of reasoning was so much nonsense, since it was the sick mind of the shooter that prompted his actions, nothing else.

However, once this was correctly compared to a blood libel based on the way it snowballed with blame placed without facts or logic, all the liberal left wing Jews, who always try their hardest to distance themselves from their brethren and G-d, are suddenly outraged and oppressed Jews.

It's disgusting to see. These Jews should be ashamed of themselves. Stop demonizing Sarah Palin, that is what the blood libels did, demonized the Jews. If Mrs. Palin was Jewish, (and NOT a conservative) she would be lauded for her sensitivity and ability to see this unwarranted attack on her for what it is.

Besides, her name IS Sarah..., who knows?

(Interim) Waffle Utopia

Before I saw today's post from Soupeater, I had decided to make fresh waffles for the tasters as a treat (?!). As they have in the past indicated that the fat free version was the least offensive of the bunch, I chose to go in that direction, but with some modifications.

I was out of apple juice, so used some cranberry juice I had. I also felt that to get away from the rubbery consistency complained of by my guest taster, I would try, again, the yeast route, hoping to fluff up the end result.

So I happily measured, mixed, and made a mess in general. I shouted out to Little Miss Sunshine " You lucky girl you, fresh waffles for you in honor of the New Month!" The response? A decidedly tepid "Whatever" ( I was not in the room with her so I missed any eye rolling, but I am pretty sure there was some.)

After pouring the batter, and waiting for the end results, I took the first one and gave it to the older taster, who tends to be less picky and a bit kinder in her analysis, and she didn't seem to hate it. ( in full disclosure, she really just took it with her to eat on the bus, but she didn't gag from the smell.)

then the moment of truth. One for Boo. The response?

"Good" with further edification "Apple-ly, and has some taste"

EUREKA! I AM IN WAFFLE HEAVEN!!


I must say that I am still not thrilled with the final product, it is still somewhat chewy, but I think that is more a function of the fat free nature, and I am still loathe to go the 27 pound butter route. I might once just to see if that is really what makes the difference. So I have a ways to go, but I am definitely getting there. I hereby formally invite Soupeater back for another taste, but in the meantime, allow me to share the recipe with all of you, as I have committed it to memory. (that does NOT make it an obsession!)

2 cups of flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 tablespoons apple sauce
1 tablespoon honey
3 tablespoons Splenda
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup light cranberry juice
1 cup fat free milk
1 packet of yeast.

Non stick spray

combine first seven ingredients. heat up milk and put in yeast when proper yeast temperature.
wait a few minutes for yeast action to work ( I must admit, I really have NO IDEA what the last two sentences mean, but it seams to be in all yeast recipes, and it does sorta work). Add the milk and whisk all the ingredients.

Turn on waffle maker to desired temperature. ( I use the setting just past 12 o'clock.). When heated, spray with non-stick spray. Pour in mixture. flip maker, wait for green light to come back on. Flip maker over again. Open lid. remove waffle. Inhale the aroma, enjoy.

Then blog about it.

I TELL IT LIKE IT IS, WITHOUT WAFFLING

This past Sunday, the good doctor called me up and invited me to partake in a waffle or two made from his latest fat free recipe.

In reading his recent near obesessional posts about waffles, I recalled that my mother had a waffle iron back in the late forties or early fifties and that its products were really quite good. I have no idea what she put into them but in those days, no one was concerned about cholesterol or obessesed about food allergies and contaminants. If you got sick, you might have to spend some solitary time in unpleasant surroundings but no one thought the consequences were as serious as an atomic attack which was all the rage at the time. Today, you can read things like "white rice is lethal," and other likeminded outrageous statements made by seriously committed Carson looneys. What of waffles containing a half pound of butter, whole eggs, and enough whipped cream, ice cream and chocolate to cause an elephant's aorta to clog up. Well, pick your poison but "nothing to excess" includes these items as well.

With that in mind I hied myself over to the doctor where the whole gang, lovey, bug, stretch and the rest of the panoply of characters who inhabit the pages of this blog were gathered over a Sunday afternoon kaffee klatch. I slid right into a seat after examining the showpiece of the mansion, the new rotating waffle iron. Not much different from the 40's version except that this one rotates and makes round waffles. I was offered a fat free waffle which, outwardly, was a paradigm for the masterpiece of the genre. I was offered fat-free ice cream and I scooped out two delicious gobs of the same to place upon the center of waffle, poured some artificial maple syrup into the waffle's crevices then topped the ice cream with some chocolate syrup and just as I was about to take my first forkfull of this delightful concotion, I was offered the piece de resistance (which I could not resist), a maraschino cherry. I left off the whipped cream because it isn't fat free. (All this took place before I had read a recent comment on this blog that the waffles should include these toppings)

Here's what it looked like at that moment.



Now here's the sad part.

With avidity I plunged my knife into the waffle, expecting to feel the crunch as the blade scraped over the waffle's crusty ribs. I knew I was in trouble when, instead, I felt a sensation akin to trying to cut into a rubber band. But, being the brave soul I have spent my life trying to make my persona, I foolishly placed the morsel into my mouth and started chewing for all I was worth.

The ice cream with the two syrups were great, to say nothing of the cherry.

Waffle Quest Continues

After many protests from my tasters that the original recipe for the Quest for the Perfect Waffle (please note: now, since it is capitalized, it is officially a Quest, and no longer an Obsession) was the best, i decided to go back to it, just to be sure that they weren't fondly remembering the initial experience with rose colored taste buds.

So on Sunday I called Soupeater ( I need to mention him, since he hasn't written in a while and I don't want you all to forget him) and told him I was gonna mix up a batch of the original fat free recipe.

I used regular flour instead of whole wheat ( since I was out) and tried to make the yeast work,to give it a bit of lightness ( it didn't) and cooked up the batch.

We served it right, with ice cream, syrup (pancake AND chocolate) and a maraschino cherry. Here is a pic, with Soupeater's ( waffleeaters?) hand about to take the monumental bite and pass judgment.

The judgment? Needs work.

The others? Fond memories are sometimes just that was the basic concensus.

Back to the drawing board, or the store to just buy some.

Happy 2011

Well, it is a secular New Year, and the world uses this time to "turn over a new leaf" and do some introspection followed by resolutions to better oneself.


I ( and many of my readers, I am sure) tend to do this at the Jewish New Year a few months back. However, as the numbers reset for blogs for the years, I think it would be good to take this opportunity to look back and forward a bit here too.


Recently, in case you haven't noticed, this blog has focused quite a bit on food ( or ONE food, to be sure) and the politics tend to rant about one person in particular.


That will probably not change in the foreseeable future, as we still have not attained the perfect recipe that will have my tasters and eaters exclaiming in delight over the heavenly taste of my waffles. Furthermore, as the pompous jackwagon (donkey) masquerading as a mayor has three (gasp! help us) more years of abuse to heap on us, that probably won't change much either.

However, I do resolute the following:

I will try to be funnier so that you don't get bored. Although I usually think I am at the epitome of humor.

I will not write exclusively about waffles, every now and then, there will be other posts. I am thinking of getting into making sushi.

Unless the Moron resigns. no bets on laying off him.

I will try not to fight too often with other blogs.

Comments will be posted with all due alacrity. Subject to my being near my computer or my phone being charged, on, and me remembering to check it.

Now, for you people, a little more interaction would be wonderful. Just no anonymous.

Canadian Waffles?

I saw an article about strange sports stories that involved throwing waffles onto the ice in Toronto. ( Here it is). So that got me thinking, I really must not be that far off with all this waffle stuff. Someone had the audacity to refer to it as my obsession. I think more like hobby. Whatever it is, the article vindicates me, as does the fact that there were so few waffle makers to be found on Black Friday. Therefore I feel renewed and invigorated in my quest for the perfect waffle and shall continue to share my adventures with you, my lucky readers!


And to that end, I have a special treat for you, a better picture of a PERFECT WAFFLE! After sharing the first one, this one was once again made with Related's pancake recipe, and used for an impromptu party. Although much complaining ensued about the taste, three (yes, three!) batches were consumed, with the waffles disappearing as fast as they came out of the machine.

here is the pic

A thing of beauty, is it not?

OK, maybe a bit of an obsession.

As a quick postscript, I took the remaining batter this morning, added some applesauce, cinnamon and Splenda, cooked up the waffle and gave it to my tester, who proclaimed

"Syrup is a lifesaver, no offense"

More Moronic Mumbojumbo from the Mouth of the Mayor

I have tried to hold back, since it seems the only things I blog about are waffles and that idiot supposedly running New York City. Alas, the pompous one has gone so far over the levels of propriety I have no choice but to comment.

I understand it is hard to keep a city free and clear of snow, what with creating ( and I am sure, clearing) bike lanes where there used to be roads, giving out tickets like they were candy on Halloween, and creating new and inventive ways to screw hard working New Yorkers out of their money, there just isn't time to take care of the job of making sure the City runs. I guess he COULD raise parking tickets to $700 a piece to supposedly pay for more non-service, but we will keep that for another time.

However, when you mess up on a scale as large as we are witnessing today, at least own up to it. What does this deluded, out of touch fool do? He ATTACKS, yes attacks EMS workers by blaming THEM for getting stuck.

During an interview I saw last night, mayor Moron, in all his histrionic glory, says that the ambulances were trying to go down streets to, gasp!, help people, and do their jobs, when their ambulances got stuck. Now, aside from the fact that this is twisting the truth, int hat the ambulances were apparently getting stuck EVERYWHERE, and that major Avenues and arteries around the City were also impassable, he then goes on to say that they should have left their ambulances on the major streets and WALKED to their patients on the side streets.

Let me explain why this is the height of uninformed idiocy. First of all, the stretchers are really not designed to go through two feet of snow, not empty and certainly not with a 150-200 pound patient on it. They are just not that sturdy, or designed for that kind of abuse. ( I am sure that his position is bolstered by the fact that it is the obligation of the OWNER to clear the sidewalks, or of course, face another huge ticket). Additionally, the equipment that EMS carries can be quite heavy, and to schlep that through the snow is also not ideal. Even if you could put it on the stretcher for the trip TO the patient, it would have to be carried, along with the patient, through the two feet of unplowed snow, and somehow over the snowbank of packed snow at the end of the unplowed street ( from the cross plowing), while trying to steer and ungainly and top heavy stretcher through the snow back to the ambulance. Keeping in mind that unlike the volley crews, you aren't going to be able to ask for additional members to help you schlep, since they are on another call doing the same thing.

Does any of this make any sense?

Did you expect it to from the mouth of a buffoon?

Never Assume

I was driving on the Palisades Parkway last night, tooling along in the left lane, lead car, when my radar detector goes off just before the new York line. I slam on the brakes, and sure enough, just sitting on the side of the road is a PIP cop, who i pass doing the seed limit of 50.

I am feeling rather smug, and look in my rear view mirror to see the lights of an SUV right on top of me. I felt a little bad for the spontaneous and seemingly unnecessary braking, but i felt the guy should really give me a big thank you for saving him a ticket by slowing him down.

I travel a bit further, with this guy still pretty close on my back bumper, thinking he should be more grateful and get off my tail. I then decided to pop in to the gas station not far from the State line. As i pull off, I look over to see who the yahoo in the SUV is as he passes me.

It was a cop.

Why Waffles?

Over on the cold clean blog, there was a reference to our valiant efforts over here to get the perfect waffle. So I commented but for those of you who don't wish to click and see, I am expanding it here.

Although FBB is sort of right ( WOW, I am NEVER gonna live that line down!), that it is really just a base for the yummy goodness that we slather on top of it, I happen to like pancakes and waffles somewhat plain as well. Furthermore, some of the comments from my tasters have pretty much indicated that it doesn't taste waffle-y, so there is a taste out there that they associate with waffles, and I just haven't found it yet.


However, there is a more important reason for eating them, especially fat-free ones, which so far are winning the taste tests. That would be that it gives a growing child a healthy breakfast that can power them through until lunch. It also gives an expanding middle aged man something to eat with his coffee and syrup that isn't cinnamon buns, which would cause the expanding to go to exploding.

This is a good thing, and shows responsible parenting, whereby mere spoonfuls of butter with syrup on them would probably get a parent in trouble with child welfare.

AND Tuesday Morning

So I had some left over batter from Sunday's failed waffle experiment. ( the batter gave me 5 1/2 waffles, which isn't bad, just the taste is) I decided to use it today, and see if I couldn't doll it up a little to make it taste like something. So I put in some more vanilla, a shot of Splenda and cinnamon.

While it cooked up, it certainly smelled better, more like breakfast. I nibbled at the edges, thought it was OK, but not great. However, little miss grumpy was today's taster, and after one bite she gives me one of her morning disgusted/exasperated looks and says

" Just go with the apple one."


We shall keep trying.

Sunday Morning Waffles

My smiling cousin got a hold of me yesterday and asked me if I was finally going to invite him for waffles. I hadn't really planned on it, since I had not yet found a recipe worthy of serving to company, but I figured, what the heck, I can probably get something out of it to share here.

So I decided it was time to try a supposedly real waffle recipe, full steam ahead and damn the cholesterol. I went to the many pages I had printed for waffle recipes, took one from a reputable food site, and decided to make it. the only modifications I made was to use fat free milk instead of buttermilk, since that is all I had, and after piling up the one ounce of whipped butter to the ceiling, decided to forgo the second ounce.

So I measured, mixed, melted, whipped and stirred, and I had a good looking batter going. In went the batter, flip went the maker, out came a waffle. I ate it. nothing special. Then I made one for the cuz, and he added butter on top and syrup, and said it was ok.

Then the official testers woke up ( well one of them, at least. ) Now, she isn't great in the morning, but her taste buds are awake, and I am sure to get an unvarnished opinion. She takes a bite, looks at me, and asks " is it supposed to have any taste?". Later on, taster number two got up, made her own waffle, and deemed it "tasteless."

So I guess its back to the drawing board. If anyone knows of a waffle recipe that has some taste and won't explode your heart, please feel free to send it to me.

Order in the Court

I was in court recently trying to save a client from himself. The opposing counsel had made a fatal error in the agreement and I had told my client that if he paid his rent timely, I could get the case dismissed a year later. Now it was a year later, and he had not kept to the agreement, weakening but not destroying his case. However, I needed to make my argument in front of the judge.

Now some people may feel that courtrooms are serious places where justice gets done with all appropriate gravitas and decorum. And they might be right in most cases. However, in landlord tenant court, as many litigants are not represented by counsel, it is usually looser, and in some cases, downright homey. Especially when you take into account that some tenants are in court so often, they obviously treat the court a second home.

However, on this day, that feeling of comfort was taken to a new level that even I thought I would never experience.

We were all sitting quietly, after being admonished repeatedly by the Court officer to stop talking, when suddenly she stated"

"Whoever is clipping their nails needs to stop."

Incredulously, I asked her if she really just said what I thought she sad. She replied " I did."

Amazing what people will do. She should have added

This is Housing Court, not your house.

I did.

Please, have ANOTHER waffle

I was happy with the waffle saga, thinking it finished ( as I am sure many of you were hoping) but alas, it continues.

After the tepid response from my tasters of the first batch of fat free(ish) waffles, coupled with recriminating looks from Lovey that I put the maker away stating it has served its purpose, I decided this past Sunday would be a good day to try again.

This time, still trying to keep the butter to a minimum, but make the taste less fruity and more waffly, I went to an old standby, Related's pancake recipe. When we make pancakes, we usually leave out all the oil. I cut it down to one tablespoon, but otherwise followed the recipe. The standard recipe yielded four waffles, with one being put aside to be warmed up the following morning for breakfast ( and lunch, these things are HUGE.) The results, again, must be deemed a qualified success.

The maker did not explode, nor did the people who ate the product. However, while Ace said they were good, Boo stated they were just big pancakes with squares on them. Actually, she said they just tasted like pancakes and not waffles. How she knows this with certainly, when she is but a connoisseur of fine frozen packaged waffles, is beyond me, but so be it.

However, they LOOKED awesome, all crisp and fluffy, so I will keep this recipe in reserve as a go to recipe in a pinch if we should suddenly receive guests who are just DYING for a waffle. Stay tuned for more in the adventures of the perfect waffle.

Which I think will require 14 pounds of butter.

Full Service Organization

I was doing a night shift a few weeks ago. About 2 AM a call comes in off Maple Avenue, so I take the ambulance and go. I get there first and the second person there says he would have been there sooner but a deer ran into the side of his car.

We don't transport the call, and on the way back, at the corner of this street and Maple there is the deer unable to get up. Two of the other members who showed up on the call have stopped their cars on the corner and are outside looking at the deer. I pull up behind them in the ambulance for a moment and we chat about the situation.

As I am about to turn on to Maple Avenue, another car stops next to the two parked cars. I go around all the vehicles and proceed to the light and go into the left turn lane. The car that stopped after we all did then pulls up alongside the ambulance and the driver, a young guy just tooling around at 2:30 in the morning rolls down his window.

The driver asks me what's going on. I tell him that we had just had a call. He looks at me incredulously and asks

"For the deer????"

Apples and Trees II

For many years, we have accused Stretch of being, ah, somewhat unaware of his surroundings. This post shall serve both as proof as to where that comes from, and as an apology to him.


A while ago, Stretch was coming back from somewhere in Jersey. As he was explaining the route he took, which he thought was the northbound Garden State Parkway, I asked him if he went through the tolls. He told me that he didn't go through any tolls, whereby I told him that he is more spaced out than usual, since there is a HUGE toll northbound, around exit 165, that divides the highway, has a high speed EZpass lane, and ALL KINDS of signage. he claimed it wasn't there.


Well, three nights ago, I was coming home on the northbound Garden State Parkway when I suddenly realized I was at exit 168 and couldn't remember going through the toll area. I thought I was losing my mind, but I had been listening to something, or thinking about waffles, and just may not have noticed it.


So two night I again went that way, and made sure to pay specific attention to that part of my surroundings. Image my surprise when I realized that THEY HAD TAKEN THE WHOLE THING DOWN!!! Actually, I think they changed the road divider to the other side of the road, and only took down the tolls, but it was amazing. Stretch was right and I ( and others who had agreed with me, who also take that road) were wrong.

So apologies to him, with the deeper understanding that most of what we see in our kids comes from somewhere, usually a place that can be found in a mirror.

MORE Waffles?

Some of the negotiated terms in order for me to get the waffle maker was that I (a) Tovel it (b) use it, and (c) actually make breakfast for someone with it (not just take pictures of waffles in the middle of the night).

Now (a) and (b) were accomplished already. That left (c), which can be tricky, as the members of the household are often gone by the time I get rolling in the morning. However, I had told one of the girls I would make one for them, as I still had batter left over.

So I got up real early this morning, while it was still dark, took care of the morning prayers and then proceeded to make a waffles for the girls for breakfast, which, I must say, they very politely and gamely ate.

Now I will put the waffle maker away for the weekend.

Probably never to see the light of day again.

Waffles, Anyone?

I feel it is only fair to update everyone on my hard won waffle iron. After the euphoria of owning such a prestigious appliance, reality set in. Now someone has to actually MAKE the waffles. I looked expectantly to Lovey, who, needless to say, was not of the same mind as me as to the crushing need to have such a device, but though better than asking her to make the product for me.

So I turned to the internet to see what recipes were available. The true Belgian Waffle recipe sort of goes like this: A little flour, some butter, baking powder, more butter, buttermilk, butter, vanilla, and butter. mix ingredients, grease the iron with butter, and cook. You can add other things like chocolate chips, or blueberries, but then you have to use more butter.

Well, I decided that since I am fat enough ( and not that short), I would look for a fat free recipe. This way I could invite Soupeater over to try them, and I look like a wonderful host. The problem with the fat free recipes is that most are on vegan websites, and the vegans are all nuts. They have recipes, but they won't use any animal product, there was actually a reference to bee vomit, which I assumed was honey. However, the recipe looked better than the one with cider vinegar, an old nemesis of mine, so I decided to make that one using the animal by product, as well as reduced fat milk instead of soy milk. ( I had fat free, but wanted to try it.)

Made the batter, turned on the machine, followed the directions, and here is the result of the first foray into waffleland.

I then made a second one, since they don't recommend you actually eat the first one ( just post it to the web, apparently), and I deem the adventure a qualified success. The waffle looks like a waffle, the kitchen did not blow up, and it was indeed edible, but it tasted a lot like apples, since there is apple sauce and apple juice in the recipe. I will keep looking for one that is relatively low fat but not fruit inspired.

In the mean time, Come on over for some waffles, no need to even speak Flemish.

Green Friday IV

As I have done in the past, and have put here for your reading pleasure, (Green Friday, Green Friday II, Green Friday III) I usually chronicle my Black Friday forays for your reading pleasure and to satisfy everyone's inquisitive nature and quest for knowledge. First, I study, catalogue, map and file all the flyers that come in. (Lovey even gave me a special Black Friday folder to keep everything in this year!). then I begin what is the only day of the year I actually like to shop.


My day started as usual at Walmart. For reasons that were covered in previous years, the had a significant crowd control. I arrived at seven and had to walk 500 feet from the entrance due to barriers set up. Additionally, within the barriers they had additional barriers so that you had to walk serpentine towards the door. This may have been a good idea at 5, but at 7 THERE WAS NOT A PERSON ON THE LINE. I mentioned this to the day laborers hired by Walmart and slapped with a vest for authority, but I am not sure they even spoke English. Once inside , they continued this idiocy by having certain aisles closed off for crowd control, even though there were no significant crowds anymore.


Well, I got some good deals, and have learned to check the wagons for items people decide they dont want at checkout and scored a really good item that was long sold out for my smiling cousin. I then went in search of a waffle iron.


The product du jour this year was the $10.00 Belgian flip waffle maker. A whole bunch of stores had then listed as door busters, and I just NEEDED to have one.


Well, I got to the aisle, and they seemed out of them. I asked a salesperson if there were any more left, and she didn't think so. However, about five minutes later she found one and handed it to someone she claimed asked before me. Not wishing to spoil the good feeling we were all having shopping early in the morning, I figured I would find one during the rest of my forays.


However, I did get the 2 quart crock pot. This was a secondary goal of mine, to purchase as many crock pots in different sizes for no more than $10. The 2 quart was listed at $3. however, when I found a wall of them and went to check out, it rang up at $9.88. As I was on line, a rather forceful woman saw I had them, exclaimed she had wanted one as well, and she and her friend got on line behind me with them. I should note here that I walked right up to the cashier, there wasn't really a line. When it rang up 9.88 i told the cashier it should be $3. the manager said to get a flyer, which I did, only to be told the black boxes of the product was $3. the purple boxes of the EXACT SAME same product was 9.88. This did not sit well with the rather vociferous women behind me so the manager gave them to all of us for $3.


Then on to Staples for the annual bluetooth ( one for me and one for Bug, who was with me) then Sears for the annual radar detector, and a second 4 quart crock pot for $10.


After that We moseyed over to the mall, ostensibly for a waffle iron. ( we had reached the minimum quota for crock pots). JC Penney had all the other doorbusters, but alas, i was not the only one who suddenly realized that he just HAD to HAVE a waffle iron. They were available online, but that defeats the purpose of shopping, which I was already doing. Target was also out of them, so we deemed the mall a bust and headed to Kohl's. Before we left the mall, I checked the Kohl's flyer, and there on the back, was an ad for a waffle iron! i was so happy, thinking that I was out of luck, that I practically floated from the mall to Kohl's. As we pulled in to the parking lot, I informed Bug that was going to stand at the front of the store and refuse to move or leave until i got my waffle iron. despite the very real threat of imminent embarrassment, Bug accompanied me into the store and towards housewares, where I asked, expecting the answer "No." if he had any more waffle irons. He told me "yes, they are right over there". I raced to where he pointed, grabbed one to my chest, then lifted it to the sky and danced a bit ( alas, Bug could not avoid the embarrassment in the end). We then decided to pay. So we went to the registers in the front, and started following the line that eventually reached all the way to the back of the store where we had been in the first place. As i was standing on line, Bug went in search of some refreshment, as we had been going for six hours and hadn't eaten or drank anything.


He then called me and told me that the line on the other side of the store had about 15 people on it instead of 150, and I should go over to that side. I surreptitiously slipped out of my spot and with great care, so as not to cause a stampede to the other side of the store, meandered over int hat direction. As the line quickly moved towards a register, Bug informed me " THIS is the best find of the day" a sentiment I had to agree with.


We then left and arrived home, seven hours later and several dollars shorter than when we began, tired but happy. With a stack of stuff for Lovey to once again return the following week.


Then my cousin called and told me she picked up a waffle iron for me at 3 AM.

Apples and Trees

I am not a morning person, not by a long shot. Apparently, that gene has transferred to the next generation.

Now this has usually been a truly wonderful thing, especially when everyone was still little and I had one of the few houses in the neighborhood that didn't start rocking at 530 AM.

However, as the kids got bigger, it started to occasionally become a problem, since everyone went to bed later, getting up for school was harder.

I didn't really realize how much the kids were like me until the other morning. I asked Boo as she was getting ready for school "How you doing?". She stops what she is doing, turns to me, gives me a look both annoyed and exasperated and says.


"It's morning."

Keep it in the Vault

I think I need better speakers at work.

I was listening to a Beatles anthology CD at my desk which is admittedly made up of outtake type tracks, as well as demos and stuff, so the quality is really pretty bad. But what really struck me is the comments I got from people passing by my office.

Now I don't think I play it that loudly, but I seem to need to keep volumes rather high lately (Lovey will confirm this, to her great consternation). At work it is coupled by rather lousy speaker set.

So the first guy comes in to my office and tells me that the music sounds like a little rascals episode. Then within the next three minutes someone goes past my office and asks me why I am listening to Arabic music. Then my secretary IM's me from outside asking me if someone is dying.

I think there is a good reason why these outtakes were outtakes and rejected from the albums.

It Must Be The Hat, Again!

As I have previously blogged, and then followed up, for some reason, when I wear my NYPD cap, people stop me for directions. But I think I need to modify that a bit, they also stop me for other reasons.

I was running late to get back to court in lower Manhattan last week. As I was hurrying along, a group of four tourists from the Eastern bloc asked me to take a picture of them in front of the Brooklyn Bridge. Not wanting to have them think badly of New Yorkers, I grudgingly acquiesced, wondering why they felt they could trust me with their camera. (Could it be that four fit Europeans could probably run down one short fat guy?)

Well, I snapped the picture and returned the camera, and proceeded on my way. Alas, I was not to get to my destination unstopped. As I was once again striding stridently towards the courthouse, a well dressed elderly Russian woman stepped out of a limo and asked me how to get to Grant and Allen streets.

Not wanting to have her think ill of short fat guys, I told her what I thought was the best route to
taken wondering in the back of my mind why she felt compelled to ask me.

It was only when I was once again on my way that I realized I was wearing my NYPD hat.

OY! Jerusalem

A major intersection in Jerusalem near the Municipal Buildings is named Kikar Zahal in honor of the Israeli armed forces. It used to be known as Parachutist's Square but that was changed many years ago. It is formed from the intersection of Kvish1, Shlomo Hamelech Street, Jaffa Street and Shivtei Yisroel Street. Crossing from one corner to its diagonally opposite corner can take several minutes because of the way the lights are set. There is some meaning to the madness which I can't quite figure out but it is a life threatening act to cross against the light.

This intersection is the construction unions' sugar daddy. I can't remember a time when they were not either digging it up, covering it up or just leaving it for weeks on end in an in-between state, complete with heavy steel plates that you can easily trip over, piles of paving stones and heaps of rubble, to say nothing of the construction equipment which block lanes in a very busy trafficway. In all this time, there doesn't seem to be any noticeable difference to the street or sidewalk. Just the other night some construction vehicles were doing something to the street that necessitated closing a lane and led to a massive backup. The next morning they removed the heavy machinery and left only a 12 foot by 6 foot portion of the pavement completely scraped away to the base layer of roughened stone.

(Between writing the lines above and this writing, I actually tripped and fell over some unevenness in the pavement at this very intersection)

This intersection is chronically backed up especially in the afternoon and early evening hours. The Jerusalem Light Rail system is supposed to remedy at least the bus traffic which may solve some of the other traffic problems as well. This event, eagerly awaited by many but whose eventual occurrence is as equally doubted, has been in the construction and planning stage for about 12 years and is currently expected (by the authority who runs the thing) to begin operations this coming spring 2011. The first phase which is now finishing up will provide transportation from the northernmost end of Jerusalem to one of its southern suburbs, the trip taking about 25 minutes. This is a vast improvement over the current interminable ride by wheeled vehicle, public or private.

I have seen some of the rolling stock actually rolling in test runs and it warms my heart. I am among the more avid fans of the system and have been waiting since 2008 to see the system in real time operation.

The intersection of which I spoke is a major turning point in the light rail route turning the north-south route to east-west until the next turning point, at the new, landmark, cable-stayed bridge back to north-south. The turn has been the cause for much of the construction at this intersection since the distance between the pairs of tracks increases as it rounds the bend. I don't think they got it right the first few times they tried it.

So all is in readiness for the grand opening six months hence. The only thing they haven't quite figured out is where to route the buses that currently are riding along the right of way and there is no room for vehicular traffic once the rail line is open.

Rumor has it that there is no plan.

Please Act Appropriately

Kirsten Gillibrand is a hypocritical crybaby.

Does that statement make me a bigot? It probably does in her world. However, I resent the double standard that seems in play any time a republican or conservative makes a statement.

Allow me to elaborate.

Mr. Palladino made a comment that Ms. Gillibrand was Chuck Shumer's little girl. She henceforth took great umbrage at the categorization, no matter how true the statement may be. She resented the fact that he referenced her gender, which, I guess is a crime.

If that is the case, then why did she agree to do an article and spread or Vogue magazine? You don't really see many male ( gasp! gender reference alert!) senators featured on its glossy pages. I would even venture, without researching the issue, that there have probably never been any male senators as the subject of a photo spread.

So what bothers me the is hypocritical double standard that our junior senator is using, its OK for her to capitalize on her gender, but no one else may mention it.

And if she really doesn't care, and is just making a fuss for the political grandstanding advantage, than I guess she really is Chuckie's little girl.

Cheap, or Frugal?

Occasionally, I have to endure snippy little comments from siblings at my ability to enjoy entertainments for, shall we say, reduced costs.

Some of these savings are by design (early birds specials, with all the retirees), others by luck (winning raffles and auctions) and sometimes through others (gift certificates).

Whatever the cause, it is always nice to be able to enjoy a night out, and still enjoy a full wallet at the end of the evening.

So last night we went out to commemorate a special occasion. We had vouchers for a movie (that we did NOT use last time, since the matinee price was 1/2 the regular price, and we wanted to save the vouchers for a full price ticket), which was lots of fun, and then we went to Noah's Ark, which never disappoints, for a light late dinner. We went there partially because we like it, and partially because we still had some money left on an old gift certificate. (Yes, I know, three meals on a $50.00 card is quite a feat, but that's the way it is.)

So we had our usual split an appetizer and main, and we used up the rest of the card.

Movie with voucher $ 0.00
Dinner for two with gift certificate $17.00
Being able to say dinner and movie for just $17.00

Priceless.

But we paid with a Visa.

Mayor Moron, Meet the Mother of Myopic Meandering

I really can't decide who is the bigger self serving hypocrite, Mayor Moron or Christine Quinn.

Our dear mayor has now decided that he is in FAVOR of term limits, and now the people of the City of New York can be trusted to make the right decision, when during the last election, they couldn't be. His reasoning? We were at a difficult time in the City. Like we weren't right after 9/11, when Mayor Giuliani was forced to leave due to term limits. There truly is no end to this guy's hubris.

However, now we have Christine Quinn giving Mike a run for his money ( which is really saying something) when it comes to flat out hypocrisy and stupidity.

This purported leader of New York, and ostensibly ALL its citizens, has decided to think with her, well,not her head. She had publicly come out ( ooh, poor choice of words there perhaps) and criticized the district attorney, who, in his capacity as a professional prosecutor, has decided that there is NOT ENOUGH EVIDENCE to waste the taxpayers money on a trial that he, in his professional opinion, CANNOT WIN.

The District Attorney knows what he needs to obtain a conviction, and he clearly felt that he did not have enough of the elements necessary in the horrific case up in the Bronx to win against ALL of the people arrested. So he dropped the case against A FEW of them, while continuing against the MAJORITY of the men arrested.

Now this is not good enough for that fool, who obviously feels that anyone arrested in the City is guilty, or if they are arrested for a crime that SHE feels strikes too close to home, the DA should waste time, money and resources to pursue a case he knows he cannot win. Then she says he OWES it to the LG (and some other letters I didn't recognize what they stood for when I heard them ) community to send this to a Grand Jury.

What about owing to all the other millions and millions of New Yorkers not to waste time, money and resources, as well as the following the law, and pursuing justice?? This obviously does not factor into Quinn's thought process.

And she wants to be Mayor?? Frightening, but somehow it fits.

6,000. Wow

Here we are hitting another milestone. As you can see from the last one, I now write a post so we know when we get 1,000 more hits, with the goal being to have to write one of these every day or so.
Well, a quick check on our inspiration shows that we are now only approximately 3,380 behind the good folks over at Carwash , who I probably should not link if I want to pass, but I can always spend days just hitting my own site over and over.

considering it took over 100 days to go 1,000 hits, that is less than ten a day. And this is even after I post the addresss and hand it out to people. What is this, folks are actually busy with life that they can't take the time to check out our pearls of wit and wisdom? Well obviously, if you are reading this I am preaching to the choir, so what is the point of ranting here? None.

I shall have to take an ad out in the local papers, or sign anonymously with my website.....

Cousins Are Useful

Back in June of last year, I posted about the clock in my car, and my cousin who fixed it for me. (Here it is) .

So I took this same smiling cousin home from the City this week, this time in my regular car, ( he has the same model) which clock works quite well. However, I had recently gotten a new phone, and it was messing up the built in bluetooth.

Well, not two minutes after he realized the issue, he had my phone synced back up with my car, and was well into changing the settings on the phone to make it more efficient.

I need to take him with me more often.

Father Knows Best

On the first night of the past holiday, the power went out right as the holiday began. This led to me refusing to open the fridge, since I was not sure how long the power would be out, and as it was the beginning of the holiday, all the food was in there and I did not want to have everything potentially spoiled.

This then led to Soupeater engaging in somewhat constant discussions with my crew ( Bug, Stretch, Ace and Boo) as to the merits of refrigeration and what he sees as the knee jerk reaction to refrigerate everything immediately. (I won’t give my opinion as to WHY he feels this way so strongly, that if for him to share.) I sort of agreed with the kids that there are merits to not having food spoil, and that spoiled food is not necessarily the best thing for you, but pretty much stayed out of it.

Well, I have to say that I was wrong.

I made a coffee in my office last night before I went home. I make it in a travel mug, so it stays warm the whole way home. However, I forgot it in the car last night. Now I do this regularly in the winter, and have ice coffee ( with a layer of ice on top) in the mornings, but I don’t usually try this any other time of the year. So I went out this morning to get my mug and clean it out. However, when I opened the mug, expecting to see curdled coffee that smelled of cottage cheese, I was surprised to see, smell and then taste a perfectly good coffee.

I am drinking it as I write this. Hopefully I won’t be out of commission for a few weeks later on….

The Last Funeral

Louis Hirsch and Son, the place that I have known all my life as the portal through which the members of our congregation pass on their way to the next world, has indeed itself passed on. This ancient institution which was referred to phonetically as "heershoonzone" (accent on the first syllable) by everyone I knew, is going out of business as of September 22.

The property has been sold to a developer. I don't know the details, but it's obvious that it's worth more than what can be earned from conducting funerals. And this in a bombed out section of the Bronx like Jerome Avenue and 167th Street. In all the years of the neighborhood's downward spiral, despite the proximity of Yankee Stadium and still marvelous apartment buildings lining Jerome Avenue with their 1920's art deco style, I have not known it to improve by even one iota.

A source close to the current owners of the funeral parlor told me, maybe 15 years ago, that the revenues they earned in January of any year, covered all the expenses of the subsequent 11 months. This same source now told me that there was no money in the funeral business, and in fact, averred that just recently he had been there and that there was not even one corpse in their morgue. How far they have fallen. There used to be a full complement of bodies lying around anytime we came to be there.

The day before Hirsch and Sons was scheduled to close, unfortunately, we attended a funeral there for the mother of a dear friend. The woman had been quite old and out of her social orbit for a long time so the funeral was not very well attended. I remember other funerals where a second chapel had to be opened to accommodate a large throng that overflowed even the second chapel. I recalled the groups of people waiting at the corners of 181st Street for the bus to take them to the funeral home and the busses arriving directly in front of it to disgorge a crowd of eager mourners.

These four walls evoked many memories of our departed relatives and friends whose final leave-taking took place here. I couldn't help but speculate on the finality represented by this funeral.

May it truly be the last funeral.

Only 25 more days.....

The new employment numbers came out today. So putting aside all the positive spin that the sick liberal media continues to spout, it doesn't look good for the administration and the democrats.

However, what I find most telling as to the complete failure of the left is that the public sector lost jobs. This means that the stimulus money, which went mostly to public works and governments, did absolutely nothing to spur economic growth. As soon as the money ran out, so did the jobs, with no lasting benefit.

Let's hope that the American people express their extreme displeasure for the inept regime in November

Mar & Venus? You Bet

I never really bought into the gender gap thing to such an extent, as all the people in my family are pretty much knowledgeable of a wide range of things (girls know what a football is (oblong ball used in fall) and guys know what a flat iron is ( its for hair)) .

I was wrong.

I was listening to the baseball playoffs at work. Texas Rangers against Tampa Bay Rays. A woman ( in her defense, she has no brothers) walked in and said " Oh, Football". I asked her how she came to that wonderful conclusion. She informed me that she heard the announcer say Rangers, and she knew that there was a New York football team called the Rangers.

I looked at her and informed her that there is a New York team called the Rangers, but they play hockey. I felt that to point out that there are never football games played on Wednesday afternoon was overkill.

Its not a gap, sometimes its a chasm.