Public Transportation

I was in the City on Friday, down on Water Street, and I needed to go to 1st Avenue in the 20s to catch a ride home. So I decided to take a bus that would go up the east side, since the trains involve a lot of cross town action.

As I approached the bus stop, I saw ahead of me a bus in the travel lane parallel to the bus stop. ( It didn't look as if the bus had stopped there). However, this did not really compute in my brain until later. I figured I would catch the next bus. So I was waiting by the stop when a bus again pulls up to the light in the travel lane. I call out to the driver and ask why he isn't stopping and opening the doors, he shouts back ( without opening the door) that he is an express bus. So I ask him where the stop is for the express bus, and he indicates that it is further up. Mind you, this is all shouted through a closed door and window, without a doubt heard by all the people in the bus enjoying this drama.

So as the light turns green and the bus pulls away from the light, I take off, all short and fat of me, to run as many blocks as it might take to catch this bus, since the idea of an express appeals to me, as my ride would be ready to leave within a half hour. So I run the first block, and I see that the bus pulls in to the following block. I try valiantly to increase my speed, but it is a losing proposition ( see: short and fat above). However, the bus is still there when I stagger up to it, so I hop in the back, as I have no more strength to make it to the front door, and continue my stagger to the front to pay.

I then realize, to my great consternation, that this is one of the new express buses where you pay outside, similar to a subway. The idea is great, in that people just get on and off, and there is no delay for the passengers to pay the driver. However, this does not work so well for me, as I have just jumped on the bus.

So I ask the driver, oh, I have to pay outside on this one, and I jump off the bus, and look stupidly at the three machines there, in my extreme haste to (1) not have the driver leave me there, and (2) not unduly hold up the bus for all the passengers already on the bus who actually know how to use the new system.

However, as I am both out of breath and discombobulated, I just look at the machine. The driver then shouts to me to come back, I run back to the door, and he tells me push the button on the blue. That is all I hear as I charge back to the machines, since the third one is kind of blue. However, that is (probably) for credit card transactions as is it a different machine than the other two.

So now the driver has just about had it, and he shouts once again at me to come back. I zip back, and he tells me "Go to the first machine, push the button in the middle of the BLUE panel, put your metrocard in on the RIGHT, and take your receipt on the LEFT, don't worry, I'll wait for you." (He really was a nice and patient transit employee.) So reassured and properly directed, I ran again to the machine, pushed the button, slammed my card in the slot on the right, hopped a bit waiting for the receipt ( Three seconds, maybe?) and grabbed my card and the receipt, and dashed back on to the bus.


To the thunderous applause of all the passengers.


Who I then had to walk through, to get a seat in the back, nodding and bowing, thanking them and apologizing.


When I finally sat down, some kind soul, trying to be nice, told me not to worry, but managed to make it even worse by telling me that he watched and listened to the whole event for two blocks ( I assume that included the original shouting through the door) and saw me running, and really didn't think I would make it.


Next time, I think I'll drive.