Requiem for a Jeep

Its a sad day for the good doctor, as we had to bid a sad farewell to a good friend who served us well for five years.

My jeep wrangler, my pride and joy and mid life crisis, has gone on to a new home. Having served the Greunkern family well and (more or less)  reliably for the past 5 years, as well as providing lots of motoring fun with the top both up and down, the time had come for some other owner to have the joy of this fun vehicle.

So we say goodbye and wish our Jeep well in his new home in Orange County.

And commence the search for the next mid life crisis.

New and Old Blogs I've seen and Mazal Tovs

Mazal Tov to our good friends over at Guess Who's Coming to Dinner upon the engagement of their son. Funny how this comes a day after I discovered a new blog, sons in the parsha.  It seems new, and there isn't much there yet, but who knows, it might develop into something as good as Daughters in the parsha, which I wish would post more often.

Now back to my donuts.

what next?

It's pretty obvious to all that the Israeli cease fire is not even viable as a temporary solution. To leave the battlefield without disarming the enemy is foolhardy and will be costly to the cause of Israeli security. There are still plenty of rockets in Gaza if all the numbers bandied about -even discounted for massive exaggeration- by the various combatants and sympathizers are realistic.

The situation is clouded by the strange way in which this cease fire has been negotiated. Hamas has made its demands but Israel has not dealt with Hamas but only with Egypt who doesn't have much sway with Hamas either. So who knows what Israel has really agreed to with Egypt? Or, for that matter, what Hamas has agreed to. They stopped firing rockets so Israel stopped air raids. Nothing has changed.

Is it really credible that Israel would stop its blockade? No more credible than that Israel is planning suicide.

Years ago, I supported the pullout from Gaza believing, in my naivete, that once Gaza was a foreign country, it would no longer be an Israeli problem. I was too trusting.

The fact is that the inhabitants of Gaza and their leaders are hard core liars and thieves and I wouldn't trust any one of them to tell me the correct time of day. So where do we go from here?  It wasn't good when Gaza was part of  Israel and it's even worse now that it isn't. There are between one-and-a-half and two million savages living there who are answerable to no one and understand only overwhelming force.

We can't get rid of them, but we must bring them to heel. A ground invasion would have been the best solution.

A word about Israel's propaganda war. Take a look at how the Arabs handle any question that is asked of them. Did they fire rockets? It's Israel's fault. Did they try to infiltrate Israel? It's Israel's fault. Did they bomb the bus in Tel Aviv? It's Israel's fault. They stay on message and don't really say very much.

On the other hand, the Israelis are the biggest blabbermouths with their high minded, moralistic boastful blather. We do surgical strikes! We can pinpoint an ant at 30 miles! We have the Iron Dome! We protect civilian lives! We are the greatest! We wouldn't deliberately hurt an arab civilian! We are so good we even shoot ourselves so as not to hurt our enemies!

They are incapable of characterizing their conflict except in terms of they being the smartest, the best, the most humane, etc. What they should say is that all their enemies are bloodthirsty savages; men women and children, that they do their best to avoid mass killings of civilians, but, this is war and in war people get hurt.

Too bad.

Green Friday 2012 part 2

After a night filled with dreams of more sales and purchases in the morning, it was off to walmart (again!0 to see if we could actually get in to the store. As it was late ( almost 8AM) there was no line to get in to the store, and the aisles weren't too crowded either.  However, the drawback is most of the items i was looking for were no longer available. But I still got some of the items that were not as popular.

Then it was off to the mall to see what was going on there. Best Buy was, as usual, out of flyers or anyone who knew anything, crowded, but with no people who were actually checking out. 

A run through the usual suspects brought in the usual items, ( MORE CROCK POTS!) but nothing really exciting. Then a trip to Kohl's rounded out the days fun.

All in all, there was nothing unexpected, and we arrived home with a trunk full of stuff.

most of it for Lovey to return this week. 

Green Friday 2012 part 1

So I went decided to start by Black Friday Shopping earlier this years, as the stores had all decided to accommodate me in quest for the perfect find. Last year's big score was a grill at Home Depot that wasn't even advertised. So off my went, with joy in my heart, to start the holiday season shopping.

What a disappointment.

The first stop was, where else, Walmart. I went before 10 to a store that was open all day. When I got there, the parking lot was full, as to be expected. However, there was a line being controlled by security, which was not expected, and the wait was an hour, which was REALLy not expected.  So after a quick stop at the Soupy's to say hi, it was off to Sears to see what wonderful offerings they had.

I now understand why Sears is in such trouble.  If you decide to shop there, bring your flyer. First, they make you wait on line by electronics to see a sales rep, who disappeared after five seconds. This was when there was no longer any kind of crowd in the section. Then, when I finally find the stuff from the flyer, its a different brand. finally, I go to check out. One person in front of me. a half hour. I asked to look at one of the doorbuster electronics to see if i wanted it, and the security guy by the gated storage bin housing these items tells me he isn't allowed to take it out until it is paid for, he knows nothing about the product, and apparently, he is also not allowed to look down and read the specs off the box for me either.

So the first items rings up, correctly. the next item rings up at the regular price. i tell the clerk that it is on sale. she takes the flyer, shows it to a manager,they have a discussion, and I get the sale price. The next three items repeat this scenario.

Now I am pretty careful when I shop to (a) know the prices, and (b) keep an eye on the staff when they ring it up, but I assume not all people do. In a major store like Sears you would assume that they would program their computers to accurately reflect what the sales are, and not try to cheat you by making you  check that they charging you correctly.

However, I shall nevertheless persevere and shop today as well. I shall let you know how THAT goes.

Nuremberg, Dresden, Hiroshima, Nagasaki......

You should shortly hear from the good doctor about food and shopping so I will talk about what weighs heavily on my mind right now.

After reading  Ban Ki Moon's idiotic and insipid remarks about the situation in Israel, I can't even think of food  fearing  it would cause me to throw-up. He reiterates his dogma that the most important issue in the middle east is the safety of civilians, not the root causes of the danger to civilians. And how many innocent civilians are there on the Gaza side? Every one of them supports their terrorist regime, women, children, and old people as well.

Hamas is like a little dog that keeps snapping at a big person's legs and when the person administers a strong kick to the dog and sends him flying, the dog cowers in a corner, but keeps barking. And all the bystanders feel sorry for the dog and think the kick was too hard. I'm not sure what is appropriate for such a dog but if the person he is threatening wants to be rid of the threat, only a strong reaction will do the trick.

Just because Hamas' rockets aren't very accurate or reliable doesn't mitigate the fact that the intention is to harm and to maim as many Israeli citizens as possible. So when Israeli ordnance is superior and more effective, there is no reason to claim that the reaction is inappropriate. Ban must think that if the death score is tied, it's a fair war, otherwise the one with the fewest casualties is the aggressor.

A lesson learned from the second world war is that when fighting a fanatic enemy like the Japanese or the Nazis, the only way to win the war is to inflict massive civilian casualties, convincing the people to withdraw their support for the war effort, for their leaders, and most of all for trust in their false gods who apparently cannot save them from destruction. That's why we bombed Hiroshima, Nagasaki, Dresden and Nuremberg. It did the trick.

Hamas is no less fanatic nor are their citizens.

DONUTS!

I love Boo.

She really is the best.  As the Chanuka season is upon us, I decided to continue the quest for the perfect fat free substitutes for the foods I love, and make donuts.  So I fooled around with some recipe that takes aver two hours to prepare, as you need to let the dough rise twice, and finally baked them.  The last rising didn't go so well so they were more like puffy cookies than donuts, so I put on some glaze, then added chocolate to the remaining glaze to make black and whites, and  gave them to Lovey and Boo to taste.

Lovey wasn't impressed. At all.

However, Boo, who can be the most brutal of critics ( but to be fair, that is usually early in the morning), smiled and said that not only were they really good, they even tasted like Dunkin Donuts!

She is the best.

Back to Food and Other Things

So throughout the last few months when I have not been able to bring myself to write since I would have had to vent about all the crap going on with with the media and politics, I have been very busy cooking and learning more about cooking. Although I haven't posted anything, I do have pictures and I fully plan to do so as soon as I upload the pics from my phone to my computer.

For a quick preview, though, i will tell you that I have made and tweaked cinnamon and chocolate buns, eggs, sushi and granola bars.

Yum.

and green Friday is coming up, I am soooo excited.

The Future is Now

Someone commented that they are sick of all this election stuff and we (I) should all move on. You may have all noticed that this blog was silent about all thing election ( and most other things too, really) up until yesterday.

The point that I am making here has nothing to do with the election, and everything to do with the future, as well as my opinion of the current population of this country as it relates to that future. My view of this future goes from bleak to miserable, but I will explain all that in the future.

So for now I will just remind all of you to check back here often, for an unvarnished view of the truth.

Election Results

I now have something in common with the wife of our fearless leader.

I am embarrassed to be an American today.

Election Day

I have not written because of the hurricane. That would work for the last week, but not really before. The truth is I had much to say about the election, but decided not to rant here. Please go vote. If you vote, vote for Romney. If you plan to vote for Obama, stay home. This country cannot survive four more years of Obama, and if he wins, he might try to do away with the constitution and congress completely, as he has shown both a lack of understanding of the constitution and a complete disregard for the role of Congress in our government.

A simple question

The latest foiled terrorist plot to issue from a foreign (muslim) country is the case of  Quazi Mohammad Rezwanul Ahsan Nafis who tried to blow up the New York Federal Reserve Bank.

I don't know who issued this guy a visa. It most likely was a councilar officer in Bangladesh who was fed a story by this savage that he wanted to come here because he loves liberty and the opportunity offered by the United States. By now we should know that this is all baloney. They come here to cause mayhem in the name of their religion.

Why do we let these people into our country?

BRUTES

The recent murder in Bengazi of our ambassador to Libya and the storming of the American embassy in Cairo should serve as a signal to the unwisdom of helping the underdogs in Arab lands. Instead of being grateful for our assistance in 'liberating" them from the terrors of Gadaffi they turn around and murder our representatives to the sun beaten sandy waste they call their country.

In truth, these savages need the discipline of a murderer and torturer and deserve no better. Take the lid off and they run wild, true to form, for very little provocation. In the future we'll have to accept a certain number of nasties at the top of the garbage pile in order to keep the stench down.

Let this be a warning to our leaders in case they have any plans - however preliminary - to intervene in the Syrian civil war. We have no friends that we can distinguish there and the best policy is to let them all fight their own battles. Whoever emerges will be no friend of the United States and in the meantime they are too busy fighting each other to cause too much trouble to us.

Waves again!

Today I got my wave. I am not sure if it was because of the previous post about it, or it being the first day of school, or the fact that Boo was sitting in the very last row of the bus, and no one else could see, or that she was starting in a new school, but I did get one from her.

I went outside to wait for the bus, as it is the first day of busing, and this is routinely a lousy day for punctuality. however, as the driver was the one who drove Ace for years, she knows the route and the (returning) girls, so she was both on-time and cognizant of the stop. the bus appeared pretty full, so Boo had to go all the way to the back, and as i was standing on the side where she sat, she looked out, saw we, and gave a little wave.

My day was made.

"Save Me"

Ace took off to study for a while. Leaves just Boo home with the old folks. One of us was going on about how we need to make certain changes to have the house liven up a bit. Its been an ongoing conversation in anticipation of the quieter house.

Boo turned to me with a look of horror, indicating all the fears she has of spending the next year or so with just the two old folks, alone, and said.

Save Me.

Home of the Brave

The recent incident involving a US embassy automobile that was attacked on a Mexican road possibly by members of the Mexican government's own law enforcement community,  is a sad chapter in the decline of American prestige around the world.

Upon closer inspection of the scene photo, it turns out that the SUV is a Toyota. This may explain the brazen attack. How can the US expect anyone to respect its global power and prestige when its most important agency and cabinet department has so given up on America that they parade around their presence in a  product made in a foreign country by a foreign company.. It's akin to showing the flag, but of  another country (the rising sun in this case).  Why don't they drive a product designed and manufactured in the United States since before Japan was even able to produce an automobile. I bet the mexicans would never have had the nerve to shoot at a Cadillac.

Driving on the highways of America, I feel like a foreigner in my own country. For every american car that passes me or that I pass, there are six to ten foreign cars. If individual americans don't see enough value in american made cars, at least our government should.

It's time we showed our own flag.

IS IT ANY WONDER....

I just read an interesting article about vacations and leisure time here and in other countries. Click to read article.

The most interesting thing I found was the attitude of the French as opposed to that of the Japanese when it came to taking vacation. The French took all the vacation time given them ( I'm surprised they didn't take more) whereas the Japanese took less than half of their allotted vacation time.

The days'  business news are filled with dire reports of many European nations living well beyond their means and consequently in economic trouble. They refuse any attempt at real austerity and wonder why they don't have jobs for their people.  I don't wonder at it at all.  I couldn't help laughing when I read:

 "In June the European Court of Justice ruled that workers in the 27 nations of the European Union who get sick on vacation are entitled to take another vacation."

Laziness has reached a new standard.

Walmart, Store of the Masses

As many of you who know me already know, Walmart is one of my favorite places to be. In fact, I very often go just to get my fix from the place. I have always given examples of all the different things you can buy there, but yesterday I actually saw it in practice. I was on line behind a gentleman who was purchasing 20 tins of cat food, aluminum foil, .22 caliber bullets, and a bottle of bleach. Having struck up a conversation with him , I don't believe he was hunting cats, and luring them in with tasty cat morsels.

Just an every day run to the store that has everything you could want or need.

More on Mayor Moron

Much as I hate to admit it, Mayor Moron, as Dr. G. likes to call him, has hit it just right this time. I refer to his campaign, ever since the Aurora, Colorado movie massacre, to get our politicians to at least acknowledge the need for something to be done about these mass shootings.

On the one side, we have the NRA and their fellow travelers who are opposed to any  restrictions whatsoever on any type of firearm. On the diametrically opposite side, we have the gun control freaks who would disarm everyone, including the army and police on the basis that arms sales are immoral.

Certainly there is room between these two entrenched positions for some debate, compromise and more reasonable positions on this important issue. 

Clearly, in a free society, there exists the need for the public to protect themselves against those with inimical intentions towards them as well as for society to protect itself from a government bent on imposing dictatorship on its people. We can't let the government have all the guns. But it should be obvious to anyone with even half a brain in his head that an ordinary private citizen bent on minding his own business has no need for an assault weapon. He may have  need of a few long guns for hunting, or a handgun for property and personal protection. Certainly no private citizen needs to amass an arsenal of guns and ammunition, which we find time and again to be the state of those who subsequently perpetrate the massacres of which we have become all too familiar.

It is not unreasonable to require some regulation of firearms, such as restrictions on the types available to the public and a restriction as to the total number of firearms that any individual can own. We regulate drugs, which harms the owner more than anyone else so why not firearms whose main victims are other than their owners.

Unlike his usual dictatorial methods, Mayor Moron is not trying to push an unpopular regulation through the city council. He is demanding, through his powers of persuasion, his access to media attention, and spending of his political capital, that those people currently engaged in taking positions on political issues take a position on this one. The amazing thing is that no one is listening. In fact, Bloomberg has been criticized for harping on this subject. I heard one comment to the effect that, every time we get one of these mass shootings people call for gun control. Implying, I suppose, that the whole issue will blow over and there is no point in talking about it.

It's been a few weeks since the shooting and already it seems to have blown by us. There is new news, and the media can't milk this story much longer. But the damage is done. The mourners have buried their dead, some survivors will emerge from the incident a shadow of their former selves; unable to walk or use both hands or think clearly, and others, while not physically maimed carry about in their brains and psyches, long term wounds and scars.

There is an incredible, dogged,  lack of reason among proponents of unlimited and unrestricted gun use in the United States. Their arguments border on the ludicrous, but they are winning. Just witness the repeal of Virginia's one-gun-per-month law and similar repeals in other states that once did have these laws on the books.

Mayor Moron, I salute you. I only hope you won't give up on your latest campaign.

SUMMERTIME

Most of our loyal readers must by now know my distaste for city living and my preference for the windswept vistas of the high plains and the fecund beauty of Western Ohio.

What you may not know is that I sometimes find myself in the heart of Manhattan and even sometimes find myself enjoying it. Just such an occasion presented itself a few days ago.

One of the most dramatic neighborhood transitions anywhere is that between Manhattan's silk-stocking district of the upper east side and Spanish Harlem. East 97th street is like a national border in that the difference between the area south of it and that north of it could be in two different countries. Park Avenue is a broad boulevard which runs north from Grand Central Station and is divided by a wide, park-like median below which run the tracks that lead into and out of Grand Central. It is lined, for the most part by office buildings and further north, apartment buildings boasting doormen attended entrance awnings, gilded entrance hardware, marble floored lobbies leading to some high ceilinged, duplex (and more) apartments peopled by  New York's monied citizens.

At 97th street, all that changes. The tracks, cleverly hidden beneath decorative greenery, emerge from the depths to form an ugly ribbon of impassable steel bordered by dirt blackened granite block stone walls which probably haven't been washed for over 125 years. The tracks essentially divide Park Avenue into 2 separate streets and for the first five blocks north of 97th street you cannot get from one side of the tracks to the other. The neighborhood along this stretch of the avenue reflects the general squalor and industrial quality imparted to it by the tracks.

I mention all this to set the scene for my latest city experience. I visited the city one lovely summer morning a few days ago. I crossed over from the Henry Hudson Drive on 96th street, through the park via the transverse and onto East 96th street, enjoying the freshness of the morning in a beautiful neighborhood while searching for a place to park, either on the street or in a garage. I turned onto Madison avenue and encountered a Manhattan traffic jam which can test the nerves and skill of any driver attempting to negotiate a street littered with construction vehicles, double parked trucks,  blocked lanes, and taxis making a bee line to the curb across several lanes of moving truck, taxi, limousine and passenger car traffic. This was all compounded by a hospital entrance which was in the process of being renovated. I safely survived this gauntlet and came up to Fifth avenue where sunlight stippled the pavement poking through the thick canopy of leaves from large street trees on both sides.

As I moved down the avenue, I saw a sight which delighted my senses. Walking towards us, a woman pushing a carriage appeared, accompanied by a bevy of little children, maybe 7 years old, dressed neatly in summer pinafores and outfits, each wheeling an identical scooter except for the colors which included pinks, greens and yellows. They came to the light at 98th street and formed up in a neat group to cross Fifth avenue. What especially caught my attention was the eager happy expression on each of their faces as they waited patiently for the light to change.

All the tensions of the last 10 minutes slipped away and stayed away the rest of the day. My one regret was that I didn't think of photographing them until it was too late.

Flag Guy

There is an interesting phenomena that is probably exclusive to New York City, but might be found in other big downtown urban areas where parking is at a premium. It is the Flag Guy. This is usually an older gentleman that stands outside of parking garages and waves a flag to attract the attention of motorists who might be looking to park, but could miss the entrance to the lot. I assume the reason for the Flag Guy is that it is helpful on crowded streets where trucks or double parked cars and cabs can obstruct the sight lines of drivers, to have someone draw attention to the entrance. The large overhead  signs, as well as sidewalk signs, can be missed by a harried driver, unfamiliar with an area, who didn't budget enough time to account for circling looking for a spot or garage, on top of midtown NYC traffic.

So it seems that some of the more enterprising garages have gone out and hired an old guy to stand in front of the garage all day, like the greeters in Walmart, and waves a big orange construction type flag at the passing motorists to bring their attention to the availability of parking in the area.

However, yesterday I saw either a new breed of Flag Guy, or a Flag Guy gone nuts.

I was driving on the east side of Manhattan in the Eighties. As I came down the block, I spotted a Flag Guy up ahead. As I got closer, he GLARED at me, and then VIOLENTLY swiped his flag at me, ORDERING me to pull in OR ELSE!!

I thought perhaps that I had misinterpreted the move and the sneer, but as traffic was barely moving at that point, I had the opportunity to have the performance performed for me a second time. More glares and flag snapping ensued.

So as I passed him I thought perhaps the man had a bad experience once with a blue Honda, but to be sure, I kept an eye on him in the rear view mirror.

I saw that the next car also received the same treatment, glares, sneers and vicious flag snapping ensured.

So i realized that the flag guy either (1) hated his job, (2) hated all cars on general principles or based on  an experience with a car, or (3) hates people in general.

Not really the best basis for that kind of job.

Milk Etiquette

As promised, here is the first of the teased posts.

I was in the fridge yesterday, late for our trip up through the wilds of upstate New York and Pennsylvania, and looking for the milk to put in my iced coffee. I was really looking forward to this particular cup, as it was my first in three months. As the family waited impatiently for me in the car, as I was running late as usual, I COULD NOT LOCATE THE MILK.

Milk is supposed to stay in the same place in the fridge, Just like one should not leave just a drip in the container and put it back, or put it back if it is spoiled, one should not return he milk to a different spot in said refrigerator, This is just basic milk etiquette, that everyone is or should be aware of.

However, these rules were clearly not be followed in my house yesterday. There is a possibility that the milk WAS put in the right place, but then other things were put in front of it, in violation of the rules, which caused it to move into the back of the fridge, with clearly NON -MILK items in front of it. Or someone just put it in the back of the fridge, which is a capital offence to milk etiquette everywhere. Either way, this is where I found it. In the back of the fridge, with no other milk products in front of it.

So to review.

1.    Do not put a container with just a drip of milk left back in the refrigerator

2.    If the milk is bad*, throw it away ( *This rule is suspended for those who refuse to believe that milk ever goes bad.)

3.    Put the milk back where it belongs.

4.    Do not put it in the back of the fridge, or in a different place each time.

5.     Except for other containers of milk with more recent expiration dates, do not put other things in front of the milk. Some other milk based or related products can go in front of milk, but it is not considered classy to do so.

6.     If you finish the last container, either replace it or tell someone who does the purchasing that the house is out of milk.


Please remember these rules, there will be a test on it later.

10,000!!! Yay!!!

We did it, dear readers! Together with your diligent looking ( very often futilely) for new posts, and reading the ones that actually got past the editorial board, we passed the 10,000 hit mark. I shall now do an analysis as to how the readership is trending, and post it at another time.

On behalf of Soupeater and myself,  we thank you for your continued loyalty.

Some upcoming posts include milk etiquette, pie, and angry flag men,  so keep checking!

Summer Break from the Break

Small change in plans for the summer. due to a nephews wedding, my house is full of children! I have truly become an old fuddy-duddy, as I love it when all my kids are under my roof. Tonight Stretch picked up Boo from camp and brought her home. So for tonight and tomorrow, I have a full house, with the added addition of a niece for the evening as well.

Maybe I will wave at them all.

Keep out of the Bushes

Bug came over to me and informed me that there was no more string in the weedwacker. Considering that we have barely used it since we got it, I was a little surprised that the spool was used up already. So I decided to do a little investigating, and asked him exactly what he was working on that used it up. He informed me that he decided to clear out an area of the lawn that is basically overgrown, but is on the edge of the property, not near a part of the lawn that we ever use.

I asked him why he decided to weedwack the bushes. I am still waiting for a coherent answer, other than  "They were there."

When is the summer over?

Summer Adventures

Summer is officially about to begin. Boo is headed off to camp for a month of relaxation away from her   parents. As my baby heads off to the great outdoors ( since we live in the urban metropolis  of Rockland County) to spend time with her summer friends that she has made over the years ( and a whole passel of cousins to boot) she is leaving her poor old folks at home.

With Bug and Ace.  That should be a barrel of joy. Stay tuned for the various adventures. Never a dull moment at the Greunkern house.

Milestone approaching

Just a quick update. We are about 100 visits from hitting 5 DIGITS!! We are very excited here, and will be doing a more comprehensive analysis of the milestone as we get closer to it. Just wanted to let you all know.

They Used to Wave

I was feeling a bit nostalgic this morning as I watched Ace head off for her last official day of High School and Boo head off for her last day of Elementary School.  For many years, Lovey or I, or sometimes both of us, would stand in the street or on steps of the house waving as they pulled away, and receive a wave from the girls as the bus pulled away.

Over time, when Ace started High School, and Boo grew up and got out to the bus on her own, the tradition of seeing the girls off waned, but I  still used to watch them get on the bus from the windows inside the house. ( sometimes waving for old times sake, even if they couldn't see it. )

Finally, over the last year or so, I stopped even that, as everyone was just too busy in the morning.  However, this morning, being the last day of school, and I had a few minutes before I had to leave for work, I decided to see them off. I walked out with Ace, and saw her get on the bus from the edge of the lawn. I then repeated the procedure with Boo ( accompanied by Bug and some ripped up leaves thrown as confetti.)

I felt that it was the end of an era for both girls, legally required schooling for Ace, and childhood schooling for Boo. I felt it should indeed be marked by a parent participating in the last official day of school, similar to how it started. But I think I am the only one who gets nostalgic these days.

Alas, no one waved.

Is it Me???

Today in Court I was reminded of a blog I intended to write last year, but never got around to it.

I was coming out of the mens room when a woman started to walk in, There is a bit of a vestibule after the door before the actual facilities, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. I gently informed her that she was entering the mens room. She still hesitated ( based on her look and accent, I would have to say she wasn't  born in this country), started to come in, then thought a little better of the situation, went out to check the picture on the door, ( it might be different in her country of origin, but I don't see how, and then asked me where the women's room was. I pointed it out to her, on the other side of the hall, but did not feel compelled to walk her in to it.

So this brought back memories of last year. Before Bug switched to his current dorm room, we took a tour of the general facilities of the dorm. They included an extensive shower/bathroom setup. As we were walking through the bathroom section, there was a woman in there with a security uniform on.

Just walking through.

A mens dormitory's bathroom.

I thought it a bit odd, ( what was she looking for? females? look in a mirror, honey.) so I mentioned to the main guard upstairs that perhaps they should not assign the mens locker/shower/bathroom to a female guard. I hope the suggestion was well taken, and taken as well.

Then a few days later I was at a wedding at a very nice hall on Long Island. I was using the facilities that are attached to the wall, and on the same basic wall as the sinks. Next thing I know, the door opens, and in comes a woman. I double checked that the unit I was using is generally only found in a mens rooms (so I was sure i was in the right place, whats good for the goose, etc.) it was indeed a mens room. I thought at first perhaps she made a mistake, but no, she started to clean the bathroom

with men in it

actually using the facilities.


I began to think it was me, but then just chalked it up to weird coincidences.

Until today .....

More Eats

Although people have the feeling that I have become preoccupied with food, this isn't really the case. I pretty much have always been preoccupied with food, which would explain both the inordinate amount of time spent on waffles and the sixty extra pounds I was carrying around.

So with that out of the way, let's talk food!

As I have stated, my goal is to re-create the foods that I should no longer eat with a reasonable facsimile thereof.

So the latest ones where tortilla chips with the help of FBB from Iceberg Carwash. We took corn tortillas, cut them in quarters, spiced and baked them. Not bad, but we needed to tweak it a bit. I think making them from scratch with spices in the batter would probably come out better  when chipifying them.

Then it was on to smores. Rice cakes, marshmallows and chocolate sauce. Not bad. I felt decadent.

But light.

All is Not Right in Paradise

I went to vote this week for the school budget and the school board.  What happened there was beyond appalling.

As you drive in to the parking lot of the school, there were two guys handing out a card ( well away from the limits set for electioneering). As I wanted to follow their position for candidates, I took the card, parked and went in to vote.

As soon as I walk in, a guard, who works for the school stem and is not in favor of the position that I am concerning the school budget, yells at me that I can't have that card out and I have to put it away. As I am not yet ready to vote, since I am on line to register, I fold up the card and put it in my jacket pocket.

I then get my ballot, and go over to the little booths they now have set up. Its a table with sides that go up on three sides. As I put down my ballot in my own, (supposedly) private, booth, the guard and some other pompous jerk who is masquerading as an election official come over to me and start shouting that I can't have the card out. I scanned the names I wanted, just to be sure, and handed the card to someone ( I decided they weren't even worth a look), voted and left.

As I left, I thought about the matter and decided that I would not let it stand. I went back inside and asked the guard for his supervisor, he told me ( surprise, surprise) that his supervisor wasn't there. ( I think that is the first thing they teach them in guards for idiots 101, if ever questioned, there is NEVER anyone above them available to rein them in.)

I then said to some belligerent election official who came over  (who my children later informed me was the same one who came over to harass me in the booth, but I didn't know that since I never looked up) that they have no right to come over to the booths, look what I am doing in the booth, and then harass and try to intimidate me. I told him that is by far a bigger violation of any election law than having the names of who you vote for with you in your private voting booth. They disagreed.

I then decided the best thing to do was leave, and if the results had not turned out the way I wanted, I would probably take this up a level, but I don't have to at this point.

To Eat or Not to Eat

So I am really trying to figure this diet thing out. The correct thing to do would be to talk to a nutritionist. however, I didn't become a doctor without having a basic rudimentary knowledge of nutrition. ( please don't comment on this, I am well aware that it is nonsense, just let it ride.)

So I hear that it is good to eat fish. Even salmon. I asked my panel of experts what they do with salmon, and if it is high in fats. they told me it is, but is is supposed to be good for you.  So we have been buying different kinds of fish and I went down to the pool ( freezer) to compare the different types of fish. Tilapia has one gram of fat per 4 ounces. Sounds good. Flounder has one and half for the same size portion, bring it on. ( Unfortunately I worry that the taste is on par with the fat content, low.) Then it was on to a can of tuna. one gram for two ounces, which relates to two grams of fat for the same size 9 at least my brain works, so the fish must be working).

Then I looked at the salmon

holy cow, or maybe we should eat the cow, it can't be higher.

a seven ounce piece has 20 GRAMS OF FAT with 7 SATURATED

I really need to figure this out.

Today, it's the Food

So the truth is, when you don't really get outside much for days on end, there isn't much that happens to write about. I mean, I check the surrounding area each day for wildlife, and then I see what there is for me to eat.

So to start with the continued waffle quest, I went back to the original waffle I made, which my tasters/critics/daughters have always told me was the only one with any taste, and I made it again, with my added improvements noted on the recipe.  The only mistake I made was to substitute half the whole wheat for regular, instead of all the whole wheat. I will try that next.

However, I upped the temperature on the cooking, and it really came out good. Put on some fat free ice cream, chocolate and maple syrup and you are in for quite a treat! We had them for supper the other night and everyone was full. Then we made one for Soupeater, and even HE liked it this time. (Even though it was basically the same recipe, the tweaks make a big difference.)

So now I am trying to to see how many foods that are now off limits to me I can duplicate. here's a teaser, Falalfel is first.

Update

So even though I am supposed to be recovering, my relentless critics have not been shy in telling me that since I have soooo much time on my hands, I should be writing lengthy and detailed blogs.

Alas, I don't want my readers to lose interest as I meander through the intricacies of bypass surgery. So I have decided that when Lovey has enough off me just sitting around, and I am forced to make dinners, along with my quest of the perfect fat free foods, I really should have a lot more to talk about.

I also have the attention span of that woodchuck, who has wisely decided to lay low for a while, and has not been out when I pass by the window.

My Country

Even though i was planning to basically make this a cooking blog, I have succumbed to the pressures of the readership ( Ok, One reader) and shall expand the repertoire.

Since I am now at home during the day,  I have noticed some interesting things that are going on around the house.

The first thing I noticed is that there is a really really brave ( and foolish) woodchuck who has re-invaded the hole that I gassed and sealed up last year. As I went past my window this morning, I saw him standing there on his hind legs, like a sailor at sea, surveying the endless undulation of the waves. Needless to say, my greeting to him was not Ahoy. 

Later int he day I discovered, to my growing chagrin, that it appears that a woodpecker has decided to confuse old siding for a tree, and he is drilling on the house with his head attempting to make a nest.  

This birdbrain did not even get the benefit of a greeting, as I only heard the sound, and need to determine where on the house he is looking to put in his annex.

Stay tuned to see how Little House in the Woods turns out. 

What's to Eat?

OK folks, before you all go and get cozy in your recliners waiting for more updates or pithy comments on the Cardiac Condition, I just want to remind you of a few things.

1.    I obsess about waffles
2.    The first waffle quest was for the effect FAT FREE waffle
3.    I now must eat FAT FREE

so, putting it all together, you can assume that WE ARE GOING ON ANOTHER QUEST to find the perfect fat free waffle, since that is what i now have to eat, along with seaweed and cardboard.

Now my schedule tells me that i need to take a nap, so I have to go.

Back Again, AND Alive B"H

As many of you dear readers are by now no doubt aware, I had a small cardiac event followed by some additional, far more significant surgery.

As I now have nothing but time on my hands, as well as a new source of material, I really should write every day.

That doesn't mean I will, but you should check and see.

THE EMPTY LAND

Aahh! I'm back in the high plains. Coming into Rick Husband Airport, at about 5,000 feet just after sunset, the emptiness of the plains glaringly announces itself. One sees the truly huge rectangles of cultivated land or the perfect giant circles of center pivot irrigated land marching in serried ranks to the horizon 90 miles away.

The local roads dividing the plots of land in all this vast panorama, are empty of traffic except for two cars in the far distance, who are driving towards me, their headlights illuminated. Along the roads, clusters of farm buildings and their attached farmhouses sparsely dot the landscape, little spots of habitation randomly scattered, miles from each other, on a checkerboard of browns and greens.

Viewed from 3000 feet up, the windmills, normally seen as giant towers of gleaming steel, look more like sticks of silver birch in a midwinter forest.

It is dark as we land and I can't see the cattle grazing in the fields or the lumbering diesels puffing streams of smoke as they haul their load of 150 or so containers on flatbeds across the treeless plains nor yet the oilfield jacks pumping their liquid gold from the depths of the earth.

That will have to wait until tomorrow.

Mayor Moron Update

Just to update you on the idiocy of New York's mayor.

First, he stops the donations of food to shelters because they don't meet the criteria of healthy food. FOR HOMELESS PEOPLE!!!!!

who have NOTHING to eat.

So, on principle, they have to starve instead of eating fatty and salty food, or they can get food that the city, which has no money, has to pay for.

Issue 2. They have no money because they spend, i think the number was 17 million on overtime for those crackpots living in the parks downtown. Instead of throwing them out after the first week, like he should have done.

So in order to get money, this cretin VETOES a bill that would have given a five minute grace period to drivers trying to put money on a muni meter, and ensure that a ticket for an upside down tag is dismissed if the appropriate time was paid for. His reasoning was as follows:

That a traffic enforcement cop would not give a ticket to someone who was at the meter trying to get it to work ( I have stood there for over 5 minutes trying to get my credit card to work sometimes). This presupposes that the traffic cops are not the laziest city employees on the planet, and cant be bothered to actually look, check to see if someone is attempting a transaction, and go over to them to ask which is their car. Trust me, its NEVER gonna happen.

Then they say they started writing the ticket, so the heck with you .

But his best logic? That people are going to pay for the meter AFTER they get the ticket, and avoid paying when they park, so the law is flawed.

This has got to be the STUPIDEST thing I have ever heard a government official claim, which is really saying something. Let's see, someone parks for an hour, and STANDS AROUND waiting for a traffic cop to write him a ticket, and THEN quickly, WITHIN 5 MINUTES goes and buys time. Does this make any sense??? The slim chance that someone will show up just when they are getting a ticket and game the system is the reason why the idiot vetoed the law.

Actually, it is just another way for him to tax the heck out of anyone in New York.

Until it is only him left. And a bicycle.

Yummy????

One of my sisters, known as GFM, who has been quoted quite often lately on these pages, has a rule about her car. No yogurt or herring may be eaten. I always wondered about this rule, until one of my kids started to eat a yogurt, and I almost passed out while driving from trying not to gag.

The herring rule makes more sense to me, although I was hoping never to have to actually put the rule to the test.

Well, I had the misfortune of being on the Monsey bus a while ago. I have seen all kinds of meals being eaten, but this morning was special. I generally put in earplugs when I take the bus so I am not disturbed by conversations or cell phones ringing when I try to sleep. I also cannot deal with the sounds of "shmecking". So i fortunately had in my earplugs when the gentleman next to me started rooting around in his bag,

First came out the orange, I can deal with that, so the delicious citrus aroma did not bother me a bit. After dispatching with that,however, he reached in to his bag and out came bowl with some semi liquid concoction that positively REEKED of fish. It appeared to become form of herring in a kind of sauce, which he attacked with much gusto.

I really wished for a pair of nose plugs at that point, thinking of GFM the entire time.

I'M BAAAACK

I FINALLY have blogger back where I can access it easily.

Therefore, my excuse for not writing is now gone.

I shall have to come up with another one, I guess.

We Have Peace in Our Time... England or America?

And they say at least he is intelligent. I beg to differ.

So we have a mistaken burning of some religious articles during a sweep of things used for terror. The "offended" party uses this to raise a tremendous ruckus, and the President of the United States, the current occupant of the White House, the leader of the free world APOLOGIZES!!!!!

Let's analyze this. We have a bunch of hysterical fanatics who are screaming and yelling over some perceived slight, and the supposed offending party, in a mistaken believe that if they follow a policy of appeasement, it will defuse the situation, decides to apologize. Which does no good, leads to more (planned) rioting, threats against the offending country, and world sympathy.

I was just at the Holocaust museum in Washington. they have a whole section on the Nazi propaganda machine.

The Arabs have learned their lessons well.

Our Jackwagon in Chief has learned nothing.

YOU VENAL HYPOCRITES!

Here's an excerpt from the news report of the latest town council meeting of Happy Valley, Grey County, TX*.

"Decline an offer from Tried and True Wireless LLC* to lease the town’s Iron Lake Pumping Station* for the installation of a cellular communications tower because of potential health hazards and detrimental impact on property values."

If I have ever seen a purer form of bovine excrement, I can't remember it.

Health hazards from a communications tower? Detrimental impact on property values? If there is any impact at all, it is miniscule in order of magnitude, like an angstrom to a light year, in comparison with the impact on property values of the multi-family housing projects that have been approved over the voters' objections, the confiscatory property taxes which threaten to make our properties unsalable, the increasing density caused by a total disregard of the zoning laws, and the myriad other expenditures which menace our homeowners with the specter of a town bankruptcy.

By the way, this was the only item, the entire night, among a host of frivolous expenditures, which, although it actually would have brought some revenue into the town, that was rejected.

I guess Tried and True* didn't pay enough to our worthy councilmen.

*Not their real names to protect both the innocent and the guilty

Really??

I saw something truly disturbing the other day. I was driving in upper Manhattan and I passed a car from a driving school. The car had its flashers on, and appeared to be waiting for someone, probably a student.

The instructor was oriental.

Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor retirement...

The other day, I received, among the usual junk in my mailbox, a photocopied, handwritten note from my mailman to the effect that he was throwing in the towel after 46 years with the post office.

Only recently, maybe a few weeks ago, I was standing by my mailbox when he pulled up, so he handed me my mail. I don't remember another instance of having met him or any other mailman (if indeed there has been another mailman in the 33 years of my residence here)and I would not recognize him again from this brief encounter and would not have recognized him then were it not for the fact that he was delivering my mail and driving the mail truck. Even then, I could not be sure it was the same fellow. I don't think he is a Cal Ripkin-like figure who has faithfully delivered the mail every mail day for the past 46 years and there may have been many other mailmen in my life, unbeknownst to me.

Right now, I am mulling over my response to his messsage and have sort of decided to buy a card for someone embarked on retirement and maybe leave him a bottle of wine as a token of my appreciation for his unobtrusive devotion to increasing the amount of paper garbage generated by my household, which, by the way, has led to my familiarity with the recycling team with whom I am only slightly better acquainted.

The whole scene with my mailman here in the country is in stark contrast to my experience decades ago in Manhattan. I lived in a six story apartment building with about 48 apartments and there, I was very well acquainted with my mailman. Probably because he would spend about half an hour a day in our building, sorting and placing mail in the individual mailboxes; and while a whole coterie of building residents waited for him to finish, we became his friends.

I remember the scene vividly. A little after 8:30 in the morning, a small crowd would gather in the area of the lobby which contained the mailboxes. They were located in an ill lit area behind the stairway and contained several rows of individual mailboxes with hinged doors about 4 inches wide and maybe 8 inches high. each mailbox had a unique key and was assigned to a particular apartment. Above these boxes was another single hinged door which ran along the top of the mailboxes and could be opened with a master key, which revealed, when opened, the open tops of the individual mailboxes. The mail was inserted into the individual boxes and the large door was locked by the mailman and all was secure.

The mailman, carrying a sack of mail and later using a trolley to carry it, would show up, get comfortable, fill his pipe with tobacco and get it going with a few aromatic puffs. He would then open the master door and reach in to the leftmost mailbox and pull out an electric light bulb which he screwed in to the socket above the boxes, enabling him to do his job. Then the fun would begin . Correspondents were supposed to write the apartment number as part of the address but this was not always done. He would pull a stack of letters out of his bag and taking each individual one, look at it, tap the bottom edge of the envelope against the edge of the mailboxes, either to see the address clearly if it was in a loose window envelope or maybe just as a habit, sort of like someone saying "eh" when contemplating his next words. He did need time to process where to put the mail, especially when the address did not show an apartment number. Sometimes he would hand mail to one of the waiting crowd whom he recognized. He sometimes had to struggle to get a large or bulky envelope into the narrow sheath of the mailbox (not a patch on the struggle by the subscriber to get it out)and sometimes he was baffled as to where to put the mail. He once complained, after the neighborhood had become more hispanic, "There are five Gonzales' here and they say to me 'watch!'." When I came home in the evenings there were always letters laying around near the mailboxes which apparently had been misdirected.

When he finished delivering the mail, he would unscrew the light bulb, put it in its place, slam the large door with the key in the lock which was attached to a long thong connected to his belt. We would say good bye, everyone would scramble to get the mail out of their box, and the crowd would disperse with their bills and dunning notices, until the next day.

Ah, how I love the country.

Out of the Fog

I was driving this morning on the Tappan Zee bridge in a very thick fog. As I toodled along, I thought that the drive was a good metaphor for life. I was on the long, low part, completely covered by the fog so that I couldn't see the water at all, and I couldn't see that far ahead either. So here I am, just going along with just the people around me, with no ability to see the future. Just like in life, we go on surrounded by the people around us, all heading into the future on faith. We assume that there is a road ahead of us, and we drive towards it expecting a good outcome.

Then the sun came out, and I just kept going.

Missing in Action

I know that I have not been posting lately. This is largely due to me being blocked at work from access to my blogger account, and no (real) internet at home. I am working to remedy the situation at work, but today I have the trusty laptop and access to the internet through the Court systems wifi in the courthouse. (Your tax dollars at work!). Well, they are about to call the calendar, so I have to get off now.

Until I get access or appear in Court again.

An Allegory

Many decades ago, I was invited to my brother's new suburban home for a Sunday barbecue. When my sister-in-law needed to purchase some hamburger buns or rye bread - I forget which - I volunteered to drive to the bakery and make the purchase. I was unfamiliar with the area at the time and, while willing to go into town, I didn't know where to go.

The bakery was designated by the locals as "Mrs. Frank's". To ease my way - this was before GPS - my 15 year old nephew was designated to ride shotgun and tell me exactly where to drive. He assured me he knew exactly what we were looking for. We got into my car and sped away in the direction of the center of town. As we neared the center, I asked him where to turn and he told me to just keep on going. Following his direction, I continued on past the main intersection in town heading towards the east end. I was certain we had missed the place and kept asking him if he was sure he knew where to go and he told me, "of course I do, I go this way every day," which, while slightly encouraging, didn't mean that he knew where I wanted to go. We continued in this vein for another mile or so and I was sure he had no idea. Suddenly, we approached a run down building that at one time was a private house and now boasted a sign "FRANK'S SUPERETTE."

My nephew pointed it out and told me that this was the place. Okay, I didn't know what I was to expect and he seemed so sure that I skeptically pulled to the curb, again asking him, as we got out of the car, if he was sure that this was the place. He again replied in the affirmative. I went in to find a small grocery store with a deli counter at one end. The price list showed an array of products, including pork chops and ham sandwiches among more innocuous fare. Now I knew I was in the wrong place and shamefacedly, we left the premises and returned home sans baked goods. (We didn't have cell phones then, either.)

I subsequently moved to the same area and in the ensuing years, whenever we passed Frank's Superette, we recalled the incident which had become a family joke. Over the years, Frank's closed and the building was abandoned and thereafter was razed. The property stood empty and unused for many years, the grass growing tall and finally being overcome by weeds.

This morning I chanced to pass by and to my surprise a brand new building in the style of Rite-Aid or CVS with a paved parking lot, stood on the site.

Sic transit gloria mundi.