Brother, can you spare a million dollars?

Today I needed to be in the city, so I took a quasi-private bus company to work. From stories I have heard, and from past experience, I thought for sure that this would generate something to comment on. Alas, if one takes a later bus, all the characters and situations that would normally cause something out of the ordinary have already passed, so it was a quiet, uneventful ride. But then I got on the subway.

One of the things about a subway car that has always amazed me is the tremendous diversity one finds on a New York City subway car, but that is for another time.

As I looked around, I noticed that I was sitting near (not directly next to, but one seat over from) a homeless dude. This seating arrangement seems to be the protocol for sitting near homeless people, get as close as the smell allows, but not right next to them.

So I looked the guy over and I was amazed at two things. Sure, he had on grubby clothes, including an all weather coat, was sleeping slumped over in the standard position, and was indeed wearing Eau de Homeless, but the first interesting thing was that he had on relatively new and clean New Balance sneakers, which go for a lot more than the Walmart specials that I wear, but even more amazing to me was the fact that the only accoutrement he had with him was AN UMBRELLA!!!

Now, I generally don't carry an umbrella in the city because the winds make it inconvenient, I'm not usually outside long enough to really need it, and I tend to lose them along the way, but they do come in handy if you absolutely need to be outside at a certain time and it's really raining hard.

However, my question is, if one is homeless, has no real place to go, and is riding the trains and stations for a livelihood, why would the one thing you need be an umbrella?? WHERE IS HE GOING? and what are his plans for this umbrella?

I mean, on the next train, the requisite homeless dude in that car had three coats and a bucket with two squeegees, that's enterprise and forward thinking, but what can you do to improve your station in life with just an umbrella?

Perhaps he was hoping to assist lost society ladies across the street so they wouldn't get wet "thank you dear Billy, here's $10,000 for you help", or he could sell it as an umbrella lost by a celebrity "umbrella left on the seat by Lindsay after a night out on the town, $5,000", but I think he is probably holding out for the big score, "Mayor Mike, its raining, take my umbrella" "thank you Billy here's a million dollars, and there's another mil in it for you if you vote for me again."

Ah, New York, city of dreams and opportunity.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry on the subway