In read a blurb about the recent congressional hearings on Capitol Hill with Goldman Sachs that said the lawyer advising the people testifying that they should use long pauses and rambling non-answers to use up the questioning member’s time, because they really aren’t looking for facts.
I have always felt that these hearings are nothing more than grandstanding witch hunts for Congress. So I have prepared my closing remarks for when I am dragged down in front of a committee, which I would like to share with all of you.
After I finish the boring part that will never make it to TV or the papers, I would conclude as follows.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, I know that now is the time for you to ask me questions, questions designed to get your face onto the evening news, and not to elicit any real information. This news bite usually does not bother to put forth my answer. So I will tell you this, if you ask such a question, I guarantee that you will get an answer that will get as much if not more airplay. I have already been convicted in the court of public opinion by your dragging me down here. However, the people of this country may not know exactly who you are at this point. I will be happy to give your question the treatment it deserves, so that everyone who hears it, and the truthful answer, can know what a blowhard or self aggrandizing pompous windbag you are.
So ask wisely. I will now open the floor to your questions. “
Just once, I would like to see someone take on these geniuses with such a response.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Free?? I'll take two!
I am sitting in a continuing legal education class concerning trusts and estates, and how the tax ramifications of the 2001 tax act sunsetting will have on estate planning.
I know, I know, mind numbing, why do you think I am writing to you during the class? I am taking it because (1) I like to have a minimal knowledge of this field, (2) its free, and (3), there is free food at the end.
Well, the lawyers are done droning on, and the financial planner is talking, and as he said, he isn't a lawyer who gets paid by the hour, so he'll talk faster so I better listen.
I know, I know, mind numbing, why do you think I am writing to you during the class? I am taking it because (1) I like to have a minimal knowledge of this field, (2) its free, and (3), there is free food at the end.
Well, the lawyers are done droning on, and the financial planner is talking, and as he said, he isn't a lawyer who gets paid by the hour, so he'll talk faster so I better listen.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Mayor Moron Strikes Again!
The latest plan from the emperor of New York City is to turn one of the main cross streets into one of these idiotic pedestrian thoroughfares. Bad enough that he has destroyed the ability to drive through the Times Square area, now he is looking to cut out a major cross street artery, 34th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues.
I can see it now, a happy tourist, relaxing in the mall, sipping a cool drink while watching a sunset. Then the light turns green, and the sunset moves 8 inches, (attached to the side of the truck advertising Florida.) While the warm breezes redolent with diesel fumes waft over the lounging pedestrian, accompanied by the shouts and honks of frustrated citizens of the city.
Even though the city has always been impossible to get around during the day, at times at night or weekends it was a doable exercise, although the traffic in the more well known areas was always tricky, such as Times and Herald squares.
So now the plan is to knock out the middle of the city, which, these idiots claim, will not create ancillary traffic jams THROUGHOUT MIDTOWN. I have driven and walked through midtown many times. If a car hits his brakes unexpectedly on 34th street, traffic stops river to river from 14th to 72nd street. Forget a double parked truck, might as well get out and walk from Inwood to the Bowery then.
This is good for the tree huggers, as well as pedestrians and tourists, (as long as they like to sit around or walk, not if they actually plan to BE anywhere else in the city on any kind of schedule.) However, for people who make their living either delivering or picking up anything in the city, it will be a nightmare. It will also raise the cost of the taxis as they will have to take more circuitous route around the closures, as well as increase the idling time, This will make it more expensive to live or work in the city, which is never a concern of this dope, as he has more money then he knows what to do with.
Forget the thought of any industry that actually sells things out of midtown, as they will pay more for shipping and lose customers who wish to drive into the city. Obviously there are still lots of people who do, as all the cars and trucks are being driven by somebody. The costs of food in the area will go up as well, as it will take longer to deliver into New York. This will cause more people to brown bag food, and companies to relocate, decreasing the tax base once again, which will probably increase taxes again, and drive out even more people and businesses.
Eventually, the only person left who will be able to afford the city is King Mike himself. Then he can run as mayor forever and get elected with a vote of 1-0.
I can see it now, a happy tourist, relaxing in the mall, sipping a cool drink while watching a sunset. Then the light turns green, and the sunset moves 8 inches, (attached to the side of the truck advertising Florida.) While the warm breezes redolent with diesel fumes waft over the lounging pedestrian, accompanied by the shouts and honks of frustrated citizens of the city.
Even though the city has always been impossible to get around during the day, at times at night or weekends it was a doable exercise, although the traffic in the more well known areas was always tricky, such as Times and Herald squares.
So now the plan is to knock out the middle of the city, which, these idiots claim, will not create ancillary traffic jams THROUGHOUT MIDTOWN. I have driven and walked through midtown many times. If a car hits his brakes unexpectedly on 34th street, traffic stops river to river from 14th to 72nd street. Forget a double parked truck, might as well get out and walk from Inwood to the Bowery then.
This is good for the tree huggers, as well as pedestrians and tourists, (as long as they like to sit around or walk, not if they actually plan to BE anywhere else in the city on any kind of schedule.) However, for people who make their living either delivering or picking up anything in the city, it will be a nightmare. It will also raise the cost of the taxis as they will have to take more circuitous route around the closures, as well as increase the idling time, This will make it more expensive to live or work in the city, which is never a concern of this dope, as he has more money then he knows what to do with.
Forget the thought of any industry that actually sells things out of midtown, as they will pay more for shipping and lose customers who wish to drive into the city. Obviously there are still lots of people who do, as all the cars and trucks are being driven by somebody. The costs of food in the area will go up as well, as it will take longer to deliver into New York. This will cause more people to brown bag food, and companies to relocate, decreasing the tax base once again, which will probably increase taxes again, and drive out even more people and businesses.
Eventually, the only person left who will be able to afford the city is King Mike himself. Then he can run as mayor forever and get elected with a vote of 1-0.
Friday, April 23, 2010
In the news
It has been far too long, dear readers, that we have left you bereft of any new posts so please accept the good doctor's and my own apology for the dearth. I might excuse it by pointing to the busy holiday schedule or some other lame excuse but I notice that other blogs with the same constraints were able to regale you, relating events of the past few weeks with interest and humor.
In truth it is the paucity of my inspiration and thought which has caused this drought of literary output.
While rummaging through the accumulated debris of my life, I chanced upon a photograph of...
No that won't work.
This year's holiday outing was more of a spur of the moment idea than the grandiose, chilly picnic we all enjoyed last year. We went to a little known recreation area, replete with bodies of water, mud, baseball fields, tennis courts, and the greenest and most perfectly kept lawn I have ever seen which turned out to not be real grass at all. But so what. It's beautiful - dark green, no bare patches, one length. Some of us played softball, all hitting and fielding, no running; some of us took power walks and some of us just sat around watching the others. The day was gorgeous, and it seemed to be odd to be just sitting around in the afternoon before a holiday. We had the whole family around us which gives us the greatest joy.
I recently read that pirates fired at a US frigate one day and a few days later at still another large US Navy ship. Are they out of their minds? It's one thing to try to hijack a large cargo ship with very limited weapons on board carrying a militarily untrained crew, but to attack a ship, armed to the teeth with the latest weaponry, using only a few assault rifles shows how naive and primitive these pirates are. If the civilized nations wouldn't be so squeamish they could end this scourge pretty easily. In the incidents described above, the pirates were taken captive after being rescued by their victims. Unfortunately, not much is known about what they will do with this scum. Probably nothing.
I would have left them to drown after destroying their boat.
I recently heard an article on the BBC regarding an English group that was suing the British Government to learn the names of two men captured by the British in Iraq and subsequently handed over to the Americans who made sure they were not heard from again.
The story reported an interview with the parents of one of the missing men who extolled his virtues as a good and obedient son. They related how he had gone to Pakistan to finish his studies - no doubt in terrorism although they didn't say so - and it is not clear from their statements how he landed up in Iraq, 1500 miles away, unless one can infer that he was participating in a course lab.
The BBC then interviewed another incarceree of the American prison in Afghanistan who bemoaned the treatment he and other inmates experienced at the hands of the Americans. He related how this cellmate of his became so distraught he wanted to take his own life. I thought, well that was his goal all along!
In truth it is the paucity of my inspiration and thought which has caused this drought of literary output.
While rummaging through the accumulated debris of my life, I chanced upon a photograph of...
No that won't work.
This year's holiday outing was more of a spur of the moment idea than the grandiose, chilly picnic we all enjoyed last year. We went to a little known recreation area, replete with bodies of water, mud, baseball fields, tennis courts, and the greenest and most perfectly kept lawn I have ever seen which turned out to not be real grass at all. But so what. It's beautiful - dark green, no bare patches, one length. Some of us played softball, all hitting and fielding, no running; some of us took power walks and some of us just sat around watching the others. The day was gorgeous, and it seemed to be odd to be just sitting around in the afternoon before a holiday. We had the whole family around us which gives us the greatest joy.
I recently read that pirates fired at a US frigate one day and a few days later at still another large US Navy ship. Are they out of their minds? It's one thing to try to hijack a large cargo ship with very limited weapons on board carrying a militarily untrained crew, but to attack a ship, armed to the teeth with the latest weaponry, using only a few assault rifles shows how naive and primitive these pirates are. If the civilized nations wouldn't be so squeamish they could end this scourge pretty easily. In the incidents described above, the pirates were taken captive after being rescued by their victims. Unfortunately, not much is known about what they will do with this scum. Probably nothing.
I would have left them to drown after destroying their boat.
I recently heard an article on the BBC regarding an English group that was suing the British Government to learn the names of two men captured by the British in Iraq and subsequently handed over to the Americans who made sure they were not heard from again.
The story reported an interview with the parents of one of the missing men who extolled his virtues as a good and obedient son. They related how he had gone to Pakistan to finish his studies - no doubt in terrorism although they didn't say so - and it is not clear from their statements how he landed up in Iraq, 1500 miles away, unless one can infer that he was participating in a course lab.
The BBC then interviewed another incarceree of the American prison in Afghanistan who bemoaned the treatment he and other inmates experienced at the hands of the Americans. He related how this cellmate of his became so distraught he wanted to take his own life. I thought, well that was his goal all along!
College for a Day
My son was a college student for a day, we are SOOO proud. Here’s the story.
Bug had decided to do something with his life, so after much research, soul searching and angst, we all decided on a program in Queens for him to attend. Part of the decision making process was his ability to start a semester after Pesach, and earn three credits for a course. The daily program involves Talmudic studies until about 3, then college.
So we trundled him off on a Sunday evening to Queens, for dorming and orientation, satisfied that we had done our part to establish him as a responsible adult. Ah, the best laid plans…
Well, of the four courses potentially offered for this mini-semester, two he had, one he didn’t need, and the one that would have worked might be cancelled due to lack of interest. That would have meant a huge break every day with nothing for him to do constructively. The thinking back at HQ was if he can’t take any classes, he would do better to stay at home, where there are more options we are familiar with and where we have a greater support network, not to mention access to a car to get to different places. However, I thought we left it on Monday night that Bug would try to work something out in Queens.
Imagine my surprise to get a phone call early Tuesday morning informing me that I was having company on my ride home, as he was returning from College!
I have to think this is a record for lasting in a university, one day. All is not lost, however, as he is planning to return there for the regular semester, and he has found morning and evening learning programs in Monsey, as well as that same course locally. However, we are looking for some kind of employment to fill the afternoon hours, if anyone knows of something, please let us know here at the good doctor.
Bug had decided to do something with his life, so after much research, soul searching and angst, we all decided on a program in Queens for him to attend. Part of the decision making process was his ability to start a semester after Pesach, and earn three credits for a course. The daily program involves Talmudic studies until about 3, then college.
So we trundled him off on a Sunday evening to Queens, for dorming and orientation, satisfied that we had done our part to establish him as a responsible adult. Ah, the best laid plans…
Well, of the four courses potentially offered for this mini-semester, two he had, one he didn’t need, and the one that would have worked might be cancelled due to lack of interest. That would have meant a huge break every day with nothing for him to do constructively. The thinking back at HQ was if he can’t take any classes, he would do better to stay at home, where there are more options we are familiar with and where we have a greater support network, not to mention access to a car to get to different places. However, I thought we left it on Monday night that Bug would try to work something out in Queens.
Imagine my surprise to get a phone call early Tuesday morning informing me that I was having company on my ride home, as he was returning from College!
I have to think this is a record for lasting in a university, one day. All is not lost, however, as he is planning to return there for the regular semester, and he has found morning and evening learning programs in Monsey, as well as that same course locally. However, we are looking for some kind of employment to fill the afternoon hours, if anyone knows of something, please let us know here at the good doctor.
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