Yertle the Judge

As the country is now faced with a situation of a nominee for the Supreme Court who isn't a judge, I would just like to share a story with you that sort of supports the notion that someone who isn't part of the judiciary might be more in touch with reality.

I went out to Hauppauge on a case. It was raining, the traffic was horrendous, and the bridge was a mess, so I went a different way. I figured I was OK, because the Court always has a second call at 10:30, and I didn't anticipate the other side showing up.

Well, I pulled in to the Court parking lot at 10:25, parked, and went inside. There was nothing going on at the time, so I approached the clerk and told her my case name. She looked it up and announced, " Case dismissed at 10:30, no appearance either side."

This is where I felt that I was in an alternative universe.

I looked at my watch, just to be sure. It is a minute fast and showed 10:28. Then I looked up at the clock on the wall DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE JUDGE, and it showed 10:27. I then looked back at my watch, because I needed a moment so I wouldn't shout at the judge " CAN'T YOU IDIOTS TELL TIME!?!?!?!"

The judge, then, in his most officious tone, stated " You can keep looking at your watch, counselor, it was dismissed at 10:30".

Now I was really at a loss for words, or more specifically, words that would not get me held in contempt and thrown in jail. So I just sort of stood there, thinking how I could delicately tell this judge that although the Courtroom is his kingdom, I don't think some district judge from Long Island can bend the rules of time.

Fortunately, the clerk, taking in my completely befuddled and bemused expression, decided that this could indeed be rectified by simply recalling the case, since the other side didn't show, and it STILL WASN'T 10:30. So she did.

However, when put on the automatic tape recorder, it did show a time of 10:33! So either the judge is a slave to a faulty piece of equipment, or he just thinks that he is some kind of god that can make any rule he wants in his courtroom, including suspending the laws of nature.

Although I might not agree with Kagan's policies, the idea that she isn't a judge really should not count against her, if only for the fact that she might not be AS out of touch with reality as even some low level judges become as soon as they get on the bench.