Monday, November 24, 2008

Calling Walt Knirps, Private Eye

We have all been wondering over here what and/or who the elusive, but combatative and verbose (of late) Doctor Uhberschnitzel is.

At first, the conventional wisdom was that it was a relative of mine by marriage, but which one, no one was sure. As each relative by blood that picked those relatives by marriage denied vehemently that it was their respective spouse, two thoughts came out. (1) It is NOT a relative by marriage, or, (2) My siblings are lying to me.

Either way, the search continues, and as the suspicions are mounting, there is a desperate need to figure this out before disaster strikes at the upcoming family gathering for the holidays, in the form of accusations flying fast and furious, followed by pieces of animal, stuffing, cutlery, dishes, clothing, and possibly hanks of hair. ( OH, THE HUMANITY, HIDE THE CHILDREN!!!!)

So in order to prevent this horrible (except for the protagonist herein) scenario from playing itself out, I have decided to try to get into the psyche of this commenter, and I have done some research.

It hasn’t really yielded anything useful.

But here goes anyway.

Uhber, or the correct Eglishification ( homage to soupeater) of Uber is a cognate of both Latin super and Greek ύπερ (hyper), as well as English over (as in "overkill"). During the 2000s, über also became a synonym for super;

While a schnitzel is usually meant to refer to a veal cutlet, we know better that it means cutlet in general, German, from Middle High German snitzel, diminutive of sniz, slice, from snitzen, to carve, frequentative of sn den, to cut, from Old High German sn dan.]

( both cites from The Free Dictionary )

So this much we know.

( 1) the commenter is probably human
(2) Either male or female
(3) considers him or herself a superlative slice of something
(4) might be German,
(5) might have a relationship with someone German or of German extraction
(6) None of the foregoing ( 3 & 4, is still probably human)
(7) is playing on both the German food groups and professional aspects of the blog name, so has a sense of humor, or at least, of irony
(8) owns or has access to a computer
(9) can read and write.

So, based on my deductive powers of reasoning, brilliantly on display here for all of you to see, I have narrowed it down.

To at least 27,000,000 people.

Watch out Doctor Hyperslice, I am on to you.

4 comments:

aliza said...

while i admire your perseverance, your deductive reasoning leaves much to be desired.

i say stick to the court

Anonymous said...

I am finding this blogging completely humoric and a great read, thank you for a grand community service

Doctor Uhberschnitzel said...

Really.... I have to tell you, there's absolutely no logic whatsoever to the name Dr. Uhberschnitzel, and I'm not quite sure what came over me the night I came up with that name. So don't try to deduce anything from it.

Like Aliza suggested: stick to the court room.

I can assure you that if you figured out who I was, it would all add up - but now the mystery has gone to a whole new level of excitement, so you can forget about me revealing my true identity. I'm just going to continue having fun, hopefully messing with your demented mind!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're a real detective now!!! So maybe you can help me figure out who the mysterious loony is who is following me around...