We were coming back from visiting day in the mountains and a pest who works in my office was driving behind me. He noticed that I was a passenger and Lovey was driving. He (of course) felt compelled to question the hierarchy at my house, since, in his silly little single mind, the MAN has to drive, or he isn't a man.
Without getting into his psyche too much, or telling him that it is usually more a burden then a joy to have to drive all the time, I still felt compelled to inform this misguided youth that the fact that I was not driving had nothing to do with my lack of standing in the house, ( actually, a case could be made that I insisted that I do not drive, so I am clearly in control, but to say such a thing in a blog that may or may not be read by a significant other is dangerous, so I will just posit it as a hypothetical) and more to do with my not sleeping the night before. ( I could also add the fair division of labor in the household, but that could cause more problems than the previous statement, so I will leave it as another hypothetical).
Actually, on a quick tangent, I know of certain households where the distaff side does all or most of the driving, sometimes because the male does not drive, and sometimes because it is not worth taking a stand with a female who insists. But I indeed digress.
Staying on the division of labor theme, as well as who is ultimately in charge of the house, leads to an interesting episode at Chez Greunkern that might just indicate how the residents see things. At the table over the weekend, there was a discussion as to who would do the dishes. Lovey decided that I should do them, and expressed her opinion accordingly. Not wishing to gainsay her, I looked to one of the children (house servants?) and told him that he should do the dishes.
Not missing a beat, he immediately started to say "But she told...." Then he caught himself. ( Smart boy)
Having not been born yesterday, I knew the end of the statement. I also was not going to let it go. So a quick discussion ensued that I am not part of the sibling pack, where that line will get you out of a job, and I indeed do have the right to delegate any job I choose, including those assigned to me by Lovey. However, it did show me exactly where the children think the true power in the house lies.
I have to go now and hide all my pants.
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6 comments:
great post especially you closing line !
Very funny post.
I have nothing to add but I wanted to give you kudos (for your yeoman efforts, under azure skies ;) ).
in the interests of marital harmony, I think it incumbent on one spouse not to delegate a job assigned by the other spouse. this shows your willingness to accept the responsibility one has to the other
Fil, I respectfully disagree. That would be true of the job delegated was in the purview of of delegator and reasonable to have it delegated to the spouse. ( similar to allowing me to make the decisions to go to war, etc). In regard to accepting the spousal rssponsibility to each other I do agree with you.
However, dishes and garbage specifically, and like chores that should be the jobs of children to teach them responsibility in general and to the family unit should not be within the realm of spouses asking each other.
why isn't it assumed that if the man ate at the table he would partake in the cleaning up? unless you expect each person to clean up their own utensils, dishes, and a 3x3 area around their seat and eating area, why should the mom always do the work? huh? huh?
I wouldn't just hide your pants. I'd hide your belt.
jill -
it goes without saying that everyone who eats should help both with the preparations and with the cleanup. And your suggestion of everyone doing his own cleanup plus a small part of the general cleanup is a something I have long advocated predicated of course on the abilities of the eaters.
However, there is something to be said for division of labor. Each member of the household needs to have his own sphere of responsibility either because one is more suited to a particular job or because, by mutual agreement, it has been set up that way.
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