Where the Green Grass Grows

Where the Green Grass Grows

Probably the loveliest spot in the United States is in the area of the four counties north of Dayton, OH. Miami, Shelby, Auglaize, Mercer. It's an area of rich, fertile,verdant fields with wide vistas of land and sky separated by a clearly defined horizon and dotted here and there with tall farm structures such as silos and grain elevators.

I have written before about the high plains of the Texas panhandle which is similar but drier and much lonelier. Here the towns are not as far apart, the wind doesn't blow quite as hard, there are more trees and generally more people, just the right amount of people.

The area was originally settled by German farmers, some Catholic and some Protestant, and their characteristics are still noticeable in the behavior of their descendants. The farms, properties and towns are almost compulsively neat and orderly. No blade of grass is out of place and the boundaries are precisely clipped and delineated. Street crime is low to non existent though every once in a while there is a kidnapping or a spectacular murder. Most cars are parked with their keys in the ignition. The streets and roads are populated but uncrowded and the people are friendly and non-threatening. Everything is fresh and new looking like a real life version of Lake Woebegone.

It was an absolutely beautiful spring day when, while waiting to see a customer, I decided to eat my lunch out of doors. I came upon a large park with few people in it and several clusters of canopy covered picnic benches on stone slabs amidst the incredibly green grass. I stopped at a bench to eat and during my meal noticed several other lone picnickers enjoying the brilliant weather. Almost all the others were single women, who drove up, ate their lunches, took in some sun and left. I must have been a sight in my suit and tie and yarmulke but I enjoyed it so much, I repeated it the next day as well with the same type of company.

This idyllic situation doesn't come without some tribulations. I began my trip very early on a Sunday morning in order to spend it in Detroit with a close relative. In fact, I left my house at 4:00AM to catch a 6:00AM flight. The flight left on time and even though it was cloudy, we immediately rose above the clouds and had a pleasant journey until we reached the area of Lake St. Clair which is the eastern border of Detroit. I noticed that we began a holding pattern and also noticed that even though we were at 13,000 feet, way below us, about 10,000 feet below us, the earth was covered with cloud cover. This is unusual since cloud cover usually begins much further up in the sky, but this time it was clear until very close to the ground. We were informed that Detroit was completely fogged in but it would soon dissipate.

That didn't happen and we got the go ahead to divert to Toledo (only fifty miles south). Strangely, there was no cloud cover at all as we approached Toledo from the east and landed in sunny weather. Because Toledo is a small airport, it took a while to get refueled and even longer till we got the go ahead into Detroit. We took off and flew for about 16 minutes and then taxied into our gate at Detroit for another 16 minutes. Had I left the plane, I would have been able to drive to Detroit and would have arrived 2 hours earlier than i subsequently did, but didn't realize how long we would be delayed.

Flying from Cincinnati into Newark later that week, about half way into the trip we again began a pattern and this went on for about half an hour when we were informed that it would be another 40 minutes before we would get clearance to proceed to Newark and that we were getting low on fuel.I noticed that when we finally left the holding pattern, we flew northward which didn't bode well and indeed the pilot soon announced that we were being diverted to Albany.

I had learned my lesson and insisted that I deplane at Albany (only about 2 hours by car from my final destination that evening). Before leaving the plane, I remarked to the pilot that this was my second diversion this week.

He replied, " Really? My last diversion was two years ago"

Yertle the Judge

As the country is now faced with a situation of a nominee for the Supreme Court who isn't a judge, I would just like to share a story with you that sort of supports the notion that someone who isn't part of the judiciary might be more in touch with reality.

I went out to Hauppauge on a case. It was raining, the traffic was horrendous, and the bridge was a mess, so I went a different way. I figured I was OK, because the Court always has a second call at 10:30, and I didn't anticipate the other side showing up.

Well, I pulled in to the Court parking lot at 10:25, parked, and went inside. There was nothing going on at the time, so I approached the clerk and told her my case name. She looked it up and announced, " Case dismissed at 10:30, no appearance either side."

This is where I felt that I was in an alternative universe.

I looked at my watch, just to be sure. It is a minute fast and showed 10:28. Then I looked up at the clock on the wall DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF THE JUDGE, and it showed 10:27. I then looked back at my watch, because I needed a moment so I wouldn't shout at the judge " CAN'T YOU IDIOTS TELL TIME!?!?!?!"

The judge, then, in his most officious tone, stated " You can keep looking at your watch, counselor, it was dismissed at 10:30".

Now I was really at a loss for words, or more specifically, words that would not get me held in contempt and thrown in jail. So I just sort of stood there, thinking how I could delicately tell this judge that although the Courtroom is his kingdom, I don't think some district judge from Long Island can bend the rules of time.

Fortunately, the clerk, taking in my completely befuddled and bemused expression, decided that this could indeed be rectified by simply recalling the case, since the other side didn't show, and it STILL WASN'T 10:30. So she did.

However, when put on the automatic tape recorder, it did show a time of 10:33! So either the judge is a slave to a faulty piece of equipment, or he just thinks that he is some kind of god that can make any rule he wants in his courtroom, including suspending the laws of nature.

Although I might not agree with Kagan's policies, the idea that she isn't a judge really should not count against her, if only for the fact that she might not be AS out of touch with reality as even some low level judges become as soon as they get on the bench.

The Costco Factor

Dinner time, especially formal dinner time, has become an endless commercial for Costco and a source of annoyance to myself. Talk of this store has become like the gulf oil spill, nothing can shut it off.

An innocent question about the food being served is immediately answered in a paean to the company whose gas ruins your car engine. A chance comment about a dress or a skirt is immediately taken as an opportunity to sing the praises of the company that makes you pay for the privilege of selling something to you. A question about the salad sends the cook into paroxysms of praise for the company that is too cheap to give you a bag for your purchases. Is nothing unavailable there?

The last straw came as I heard my 3 year old granddaughter playing house. She pretended to go shopping. And where you may ask did she intend to shop? Why at Costco of course and she was going to buy strawberries and blueberries, etc.

So here's a panegyric to the business that women love and men hate. Maybe this will allow the women in my family to get this behind us.


I love to shop at Costco
It's my favorite store
Where, to weed out undesirables
There's a policeman at the door.

Not for them the usual practice
Of wanting to sell to all
They indulge the haughty conduct
Which goest before the fall

They reject the lowly Mastercard
Disdain the downscale Visa
Only Amex will pass muster
That's the card with the luster

I can buy almost anything
That I can eat or use or wear
From meat to fish to pantyhose
Or a sofa or a chair

Fruits out of season
Quantities beyond reason,
Peppers Red Orange and Yellow
Oh, it makes me so mellow

Pay not heed to the feeling
That the quantities are brash
I know I can use most of it
Before it sees the trash

And when I need to haul it home
It fazes me not a whit
That the berry containers burst
Since there is so much of it


I fear that reiteration
Is making me a bore
But I can't help repeating,
It's my favorite store

Mr who?

I am sitting at a dinner next to a good friend of mine, who is the author of some scathing remarks in my direction that have made their way onto this blog over the years.

Well, as I sat there, bored out of my mind and playing a game on my phone during some long winded thank you speech, he asked me if such activity was appropriate for a dinner.

I agreed that it wasn't, and decided that blogging is MUCH more acceptable.

So now what is there to talk about and comment upon at a dinner? I looked to the journal for some fodder, and boy, was I rewarded there! First of all, many of the ads include thanks to members of the organization, as well as personal "shout outs" to family members or friends of the sponsors. As I went through the pages, I saw ads from acquaintances, friends and even family members. Not a word about me.

So there I am feeling sorry for myself when I turn to the pages where they list members of the organization and various other officers. I see that the same good friend mentioned above, who has dedicated hours and hours of his time to become an active member of one of the committees is NOT LISTED!!!
Was it oversight, or a subliminal message??? Who knows, but I sure felt better.

Turn the other cheek, indeed!

Here is a disturbing article click here. For those of you who don't want to read it, let me summarize.

Some Islamic organization wants to build a community center which will encompass a mosque as well as other resources.

Incredibly, most of the people quoted in the article encourage the project. I can't believe the complacency, stupidity, cupidity, and laziness of these people. How can they be so positive about a religion who murdered over 3,000 innocent people in its name?

At least one person got it right. He is quoted as saying, "Lower Manhattan should be made into a shrine for the people who died there," and I might add, "not for the savages who murdered them."

When our nation becomes too lazy to even hate their enemies United States est perdita.

Take That, Honorable (?!) Sir!

In read a blurb about the recent congressional hearings on Capitol Hill with Goldman Sachs that said the lawyer advising the people testifying that they should use long pauses and rambling non-answers to use up the questioning member’s time, because they really aren’t looking for facts.
I have always felt that these hearings are nothing more than grandstanding witch hunts for Congress. So I have prepared my closing remarks for when I am dragged down in front of a committee, which I would like to share with all of you.

After I finish the boring part that will never make it to TV or the papers, I would conclude as follows.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I know that now is the time for you to ask me questions, questions designed to get your face onto the evening news, and not to elicit any real information. This news bite usually does not bother to put forth my answer. So I will tell you this, if you ask such a question, I guarantee that you will get an answer that will get as much if not more airplay. I have already been convicted in the court of public opinion by your dragging me down here. However, the people of this country may not know exactly who you are at this point. I will be happy to give your question the treatment it deserves, so that everyone who hears it, and the truthful answer, can know what a blowhard or self aggrandizing pompous windbag you are.

So ask wisely. I will now open the floor to your questions. “


Just once, I would like to see someone take on these geniuses with such a response.

Free?? I'll take two!

I am sitting in a continuing legal education class concerning trusts and estates, and how the tax ramifications of the 2001 tax act sunsetting will have on estate planning.

I know, I know, mind numbing, why do you think I am writing to you during the class? I am taking it because (1) I like to have a minimal knowledge of this field, (2) its free, and (3), there is free food at the end.

Well, the lawyers are done droning on, and the financial planner is talking, and as he said, he isn't a lawyer who gets paid by the hour, so he'll talk faster so I better listen.

Mayor Moron Strikes Again!

The latest plan from the emperor of New York City is to turn one of the main cross streets into one of these idiotic pedestrian thoroughfares. Bad enough that he has destroyed the ability to drive through the Times Square area, now he is looking to cut out a major cross street artery, 34th Street between 5th and 6th Avenues.

I can see it now, a happy tourist, relaxing in the mall, sipping a cool drink while watching a sunset. Then the light turns green, and the sunset moves 8 inches, (attached to the side of the truck advertising Florida.) While the warm breezes redolent with diesel fumes waft over the lounging pedestrian, accompanied by the shouts and honks of frustrated citizens of the city.

Even though the city has always been impossible to get around during the day, at times at night or weekends it was a doable exercise, although the traffic in the more well known areas was always tricky, such as Times and Herald squares.

So now the plan is to knock out the middle of the city, which, these idiots claim, will not create ancillary traffic jams THROUGHOUT MIDTOWN. I have driven and walked through midtown many times. If a car hits his brakes unexpectedly on 34th street, traffic stops river to river from 14th to 72nd street. Forget a double parked truck, might as well get out and walk from Inwood to the Bowery then.

This is good for the tree huggers, as well as pedestrians and tourists, (as long as they like to sit around or walk, not if they actually plan to BE anywhere else in the city on any kind of schedule.) However, for people who make their living either delivering or picking up anything in the city, it will be a nightmare. It will also raise the cost of the taxis as they will have to take more circuitous route around the closures, as well as increase the idling time, This will make it more expensive to live or work in the city, which is never a concern of this dope, as he has more money then he knows what to do with.

Forget the thought of any industry that actually sells things out of midtown, as they will pay more for shipping and lose customers who wish to drive into the city. Obviously there are still lots of people who do, as all the cars and trucks are being driven by somebody. The costs of food in the area will go up as well, as it will take longer to deliver into New York. This will cause more people to brown bag food, and companies to relocate, decreasing the tax base once again, which will probably increase taxes again, and drive out even more people and businesses.

Eventually, the only person left who will be able to afford the city is King Mike himself. Then he can run as mayor forever and get elected with a vote of 1-0.

In the news

It has been far too long, dear readers, that we have left you bereft of any new posts so please accept the good doctor's and my own apology for the dearth. I might excuse it by pointing to the busy holiday schedule or some other lame excuse but I notice that other blogs with the same constraints were able to regale you, relating events of the past few weeks with interest and humor.

In truth it is the paucity of my inspiration and thought which has caused this drought of literary output.

While rummaging through the accumulated debris of my life, I chanced upon a photograph of...

No that won't work.

This year's holiday outing was more of a spur of the moment idea than the grandiose, chilly picnic we all enjoyed last year. We went to a little known recreation area, replete with bodies of water, mud, baseball fields, tennis courts, and the greenest and most perfectly kept lawn I have ever seen which turned out to not be real grass at all. But so what. It's beautiful - dark green, no bare patches, one length. Some of us played softball, all hitting and fielding, no running; some of us took power walks and some of us just sat around watching the others. The day was gorgeous, and it seemed to be odd to be just sitting around in the afternoon before a holiday. We had the whole family around us which gives us the greatest joy.

I recently read that pirates fired at a US frigate one day and a few days later at still another large US Navy ship. Are they out of their minds? It's one thing to try to hijack a large cargo ship with very limited weapons on board carrying a militarily untrained crew, but to attack a ship, armed to the teeth with the latest weaponry, using only a few assault rifles shows how naive and primitive these pirates are. If the civilized nations wouldn't be so squeamish they could end this scourge pretty easily. In the incidents described above, the pirates were taken captive after being rescued by their victims. Unfortunately, not much is known about what they will do with this scum. Probably nothing.

I would have left them to drown after destroying their boat.

I recently heard an article on the BBC regarding an English group that was suing the British Government to learn the names of two men captured by the British in Iraq and subsequently handed over to the Americans who made sure they were not heard from again.

The story reported an interview with the parents of one of the missing men who extolled his virtues as a good and obedient son. They related how he had gone to Pakistan to finish his studies - no doubt in terrorism although they didn't say so - and it is not clear from their statements how he landed up in Iraq, 1500 miles away, unless one can infer that he was participating in a course lab.

The BBC then interviewed another incarceree of the American prison in Afghanistan who bemoaned the treatment he and other inmates experienced at the hands of the Americans. He related how this cellmate of his became so distraught he wanted to take his own life. I thought, well that was his goal all along!

College for a Day

My son was a college student for a day, we are SOOO proud. Here’s the story.

Bug had decided to do something with his life, so after much research, soul searching and angst, we all decided on a program in Queens for him to attend. Part of the decision making process was his ability to start a semester after Pesach, and earn three credits for a course. The daily program involves Talmudic studies until about 3, then college.

So we trundled him off on a Sunday evening to Queens, for dorming and orientation, satisfied that we had done our part to establish him as a responsible adult. Ah, the best laid plans…

Well, of the four courses potentially offered for this mini-semester, two he had, one he didn’t need, and the one that would have worked might be cancelled due to lack of interest. That would have meant a huge break every day with nothing for him to do constructively. The thinking back at HQ was if he can’t take any classes, he would do better to stay at home, where there are more options we are familiar with and where we have a greater support network, not to mention access to a car to get to different places. However, I thought we left it on Monday night that Bug would try to work something out in Queens.

Imagine my surprise to get a phone call early Tuesday morning informing me that I was having company on my ride home, as he was returning from College!

I have to think this is a record for lasting in a university, one day. All is not lost, however, as he is planning to return there for the regular semester, and he has found morning and evening learning programs in Monsey, as well as that same course locally. However, we are looking for some kind of employment to fill the afternoon hours, if anyone knows of something, please let us know here at the good doctor.

Slaves to Habit

We truly are creatures of habit. Or at least, I am. Here it is, Friday afternoon before Pesach, and I am waiting on line at the barber shop. Now you may not think this is such a big deal, but you have to realize that I am in the mall, where the barbershop has around 15-20 barbers. Most of them are just hanging around waiting for customers, and aggressively accosting those waiting for a specific barber. So if you are not particular about the way you get you hair cut, you can be in and out in about fifteen minutes.

Alas, I am not one of those people. I generally don't care about my basic appearance. (Much to the chagrin of my family, mother and one sister in particular). And I usually push off my haircut two to three weeks longer than I should, but I am rather picky when it comes to my haircut.

For years after I moved to Rockland, I would go back to my barber in the city, at great inconvenience to myself. Eventually, when that got too onerous, I tried out different barbers at the mall's shop until I found one I really like ( I am not giving you his name, because then I will have to wait even longer!)

Once I found the one I like, I won't go to any of the other barbers, even as I watch people streaming in and out.

One of the problems with this barber is two or three generations come together, and they all want to use him. He once told me that he rarely needs to wait for a customer, because of his popularity with his regulars.

However, I believe I come by this naturally, as I know other people who claim NOT to be creatures of habit, who still use a barber that we are convinced can no longer see the hair, much less cut it in a straight line. This is only one manifestation of the syndrome, there are other signs, but since they are always denied when I point them out, I will not elaborate here.

This is a long post, (and all done on a blackberry yet!) but so is the line. Its my turn now, so I will stop here.

'Tis the Season

Every once in a while we come across an example or really good writing here at Dr. G and it behooves us to share it with our loyal readers. So in keeping with this policy we present to you the following by a guest poster, alwaysoldernyou

(ybs=Yeshiva Bochur Son)
(d1, d2, d3= daughter 1, daughter 2,d daughter 3)



call child welfare services

my kids are starving.

The fridge is so empty I can see the back and the reflections of the containers on the glass shelves.

I love it. My kids hate it.

YBS: I am staying in yeshiva, there's mamesh no Oichel and this Matzov is Geferlach.

D1: uh, what's for supper?

ME: (brightly) you have many choices! I have four hot dogs, two hamburgers, some buns, and when they defrost, we will know if they are hot dog or hamburger buns- right now they're a little squished in the bag. AND I found a quarter of a bag of brocoli, two breaded chicken fingers, and looky here! an ENTIRE container of Tofutti sour cream, 3/4 of a container of Chummus, yum! and TONS of sorbet. What a treat! Let's have dessert first, as a special pre- pesach treat!

D3: (stamps into kitchen, flops on chair) this is SO not funny! I am beyond famished and starving! I ate the sludge from the bottom of the cereal container and I don't even know which cereal it was!

ME: ho ho! It was all of 'em! I combined the cereals two days ago so I could put away the containers and throw out all those boxes cluttering up the shelf. What a wonderful shmorgasbord for breakfast! ha ha!

D1: what's for supper?

ME: you like salmon? right? Tada! Looks like it was already spiced, just microwave it and your gourmet meal is ready!

D1:  (after microwaving). Uh, Ma?? I think this was the leftover lox we brought home from the bris. The stuff on it was that curly spinach? that goes under the platter? but it was stuck on with the saran wrap? So that's why now it looks shiny? what should I eat?

ME: the salmon! where do you think lox comes from?? lots of healthy fish oils in that! and spinach! Woah, just loaded with vitamins! Here, I found an extra 1/2 a whole wheat pita under the soup that defrosted and refrosted when the freezer was left open. Looks like it was onion soup, so it's milchigs! Just microwave the pita quickly and gobble it up, could get rubbery when it cools off.

D1: great, more plastic for supper.


YBS: (screams with delight) hey!! I found some of those Spring Valley pastry zachiges! are they fleishig? great! I can cut up the yapchik (that's what this foil is, yeah) I got four weeks ago from Mechil's and throw it all in!

ME: (Gaily) and throw in some ketchup, this breaded chicken drumstick, and the five diced pieces of zuchinni I found stuck to the bottom of the prune filling! Your feasting! Your mamesh feasting!



then I secretly go into my bedroom, into the bathroom, and as I muffle my voice into the towels, I call my husband and tell him to pick up two corn beef sandwiches on the way home. Yup, we are all eating well tonight !

Speed Demon, or Demonic Speeder?

My GPS has an interesting feature with what amounts to a stat page. It has total miles, moving time, stopped time, average speed, and the like. The two features I like the best are the miles per hour,(more on that later) and the maximum speed.

I like it because I can make fun of Lovey, accusing her of hitting said top speed (whether true or not) and to have an idea as to how fast we have gone. However, on our trip to Canada, I looked at the machine when someone else was driving, (to see how fast they were going) and I happened to glance at the top speed, which had been at 86 for a long time, and almost fell out of my seat. The reading was 110 MPH!!!

Well.

I know that I certainly haven't hit that speed, and I know Lovey can lead-foot it at times, but usually not that much. So the question becomes "who took one of my cars up to a speed like that??"

I'm pretty sure I haven't lent out the unit in quite some time, so that leads to two other suspects, the only other drivers in the house.

One, who was with us on the trip vehemently denied attaining such a speed. The other, coming in from abroad, also denied it, but that was over the phone, so I couldn't see his eyes or facial demeanor to determine the veracity of his statement. Upon his arrival, I did raise the issue, and he was able to look me in the eye while denying attaining such a speed.

The only other thing I can think of is having had the unit on while taking off on a flight, and not shutting it until just before lift off.

However, I still suspect a more earth boand explanation. I shall continue to investigate the matter. Stay tuned.

Old Home

This past weekend I found myself resident in the urban neighborhood in which I grew up.

I attended services in the great synagogue where my parents were respected and honored members. The 700 seat sanctuary is still an imposing edifice, in excellent repair, but its real glory in times past, the number of its worshipers, is a shadow of its former self. The rather dismal turnout of only about 150 people and the choir's modernization of familiar melodies aside, the service brought back recollections of more than 50 years ago to my attendance in this very sanctuary surrounded by individuals and families with whom we had cordial, even warm relations. We knew everyone and regularly visited scores of families, many of whose descendants still live in the neighborhood and pray in the synagogue. Many of my friends are still there as are their children and grandchildren, and a number of those who were a lot older than I when I was growing up are still there too although the percentage of age difference has narrowed considerably. They seem no older now than they had been then. How can that be?

The personalities who defined the older generation of our acquaintances, maybe as many as 100 people, now demised, flitted through my consciousness as I was lulled to sleep by the choir. I remember my father's business partner, who sat in an adjoining pew, who was visited on an annual or semi-annual basis by a gentleman who was lionized by many of the other congregants as a valued guest, but to my eyes and those of my friends as more like a visitor from another planet.

In those days, there was an extremely rigid dress code in the sanctuary which required a suit, dress shirt, tie and fedora or Homburg hat. This man broke every rule. He was dressed in a tieless white shirt with partially rolled up sleeves a pair of light colored work pants and stood out especially because his tall frame was accentuated by a long, wild beard and and topped by a military style beret. His name was Captain G.... and we never figured out whether the "captain" was an honorific (like Col. Sanders) or whether he was military or what. We did find out that he was a fund raiser for a charity in a foreign land which accounted for his strange dress and the others' tolerance of it.

I wondered what happened to him just as I was jolted out of my reverie by a particularly off-key blast from the choir.

The Monsters We Create...

A few months ago, there was this big raffle for a prize of $100,000 that had a bunch of schools sponsoring. I think we bought a half a ticket.

Last week someone I was talking to tells me that 85 out of 95 kids from the local school that I first heard about this raffle from are going to Florida for the week. I asked him why a school would make such a trip right before Pesach and to such an expensive destination. He told me that this was the prize for selling the raffle tickets. The top sellers get to fly, and have better events planned, and the losers of the bunch have to take a bus. (The true losers don't get to go at all).

This whole deal does not sit well with me for a variety of reasons. First of all, in this economy for a school to blow this much money on a trip for any reason is ridiculous. Second, to condone a trip to Florida, when many schools are trying to stop the practice of kids going to Florida during the year sends another wrong message. Third, the atmosphere in Florida at an amusement park, for instance, is not the right place for a boys school to be attending. Remember, it isn't 40 degrees there. To put high school boys we are trying to educate in a situation that we rail against all year, and to condone such a destination with a school sponsored trip is ridiculous.

The rationale I heard is that the only way to get these boys motivated to work for their school is to offer a prize that adults would appreciate more. I think we are sending the wrong message, and creating a culture of false entitlement and selfishness.

Next year I do not plan to purchase a ticket to this raffle. Maybe I will take the money and buy my own ticket to Florida.

And the loser is.......

New York State's government situation is really bad.

Imagine you are flying somewhere on a commercial airliner and the co-pilot announces that he is bailing out because he's been having an affair with a married woman. He opens the hatch and we see him waft down to the ground as his parachute unfolds.

Ten minutes later, the only flight attendant on the plane announces that she is bailing out because she was caught shoplifting at the local Walmart. She too is seen wafting toward the ground as her parachute inflates.

The pilot is next.

Here in New York, the people who are supposed to be running the government are slowly leaving their posts, letting the government fly on without anyone directing the flight. Add to that a state senator who beats up his girlfriend and host of other baddies left to run the state into the ground.

We need Rudy Giuliani

Cut out the middleman

Something is not right in the state of Federal Reserve. For all that we were worried about banks' liquidity at the end of 2008, the immediate crisis has abated. They haven't made any toxic loans in the past year and the extremely low federal funds rate supplied enough money to keep the banks' reserves on a steady keel, thus protecting the depositors.

But, like all entitlements, the banks have learned to game the system and the big losers are us, the taxpayers. The huge bonuses on Wall Street are not in themselves an issue but are symptoms of how the federal government is currently providing the means by which the banks have reaped vast profits.

Here's the formula. The prime rate is currently 3.25% and the discount rate is currently .75%. The prime rate is charged only to a bank's absolutely one or two best customers. The rest pay considerably higher rates. Even at the prime rate the banks are making huge profits, lending at anywhere from 3.25% up to 22% for high risk credit card customers.

The prime rate for decades has been pegged by the Wall Street Journal at 3% above the federal funds target rate. The Federal Funds Target rate is essentially the cost of money banks must keep in reserve, unproductively. What they don't get from their depositors, for which they pay .1%, they must borrow at, currently, .25% from banks which have excess reserves. If they can't get money from other banks, at last resort they can go to the Federal Reserve's discount window which will currently lend them all they need for .75%. Essentially, the banks are currently getting money for 3/4% or less. When the Federal Funds Target rate is at 4% or 5% I can understand why they would charge 3% over this cost but at current rates, a prime rate 3% above the Federal Funds Rate is usurious.

The system is supposed to work like this. The banks get money from their depositors and lend out 90% of it. They make their money on the spread between what they pay their depositors and what they charge their borrowers. Everyone wins. The depositors get a safe return on their money, the banks make a profit on very secure loans. Only now, the depositors are cut out of the game. Does it make a difference to the banks if they borrow at .1% or .25% or even .75% if they can get 5% on a mortgage loan secured by good real estate. I don't think so. If the Fed raised its discount rate even by 1% I am not sure it would seriously impact current commercial and mortgage loan rates. With such a spread between the cost and sale price of money, there would bound to be competition between banks to make loans. I think the Fed should raise rates, to give depositors some decent return on their money and to cut back the banks' profits.

The attempt to regulate compensation at financial institutions which got bailed out in the 2008 shakeout is a fair one. The banks, in the words of Daniel Gross in Newsweek, "...moved into our house, raided our fridge, and set the joint on fire. Now they're complaining that our renovation efforts are cramping their style." They claim that without the huge compensation offered, their talent would go elsewhere. First of all, where would they go? Secondly, how much talent does it take to make money by borrowing at .25% and lending at 7%. And if this is the talent that took inordinate risks with depositors' money, the banks would be better off without them.


You can tell that the banks don't care to get depositors' money, giving only about .1% even for savings accounts. It's sort of like a large company having only a very limited number of distributors, thereby restricting competition. If this continues, the public will be impoverished and the banks will have all the money.

The banks aren't lending, or not at reasonable rates, they are distributing the Fed's money at 933% markup. No wonder no one has a job.

If the Federal Reserve won't raise the discount rate or Target rate, then maybe they should start lending directly to businesses and consumers. That might jump start the economy.

In the Air Again, or rather, on the ground

Further adventures. Ever notice that amid the noise and confusion of crowded boarding areas, announcements are made that strain one's ability to discern what language is being spoken much less understanding the announcement? The airlines must have some personnel who are familiar with and speak a recognizable form of American English.

Orlando, Florida's airport is lauded as one of the better airports in the United States but I don't see it. It isn't very intuitively designed. For instance, just before entering the main reception hall, ticketing is to the left and right of you. It is a very long, narrow area and if you are flying on an airline which happens to be at either end of the hall you have a long walk ahead of you. If you know your gate number, you probably have no need to be in the ticketing hall unless you have to check your baggage but you are there mainly because you need to check in. Finding the monitors could be a problem because they are just above your head as you are walking along and you don’t have room to back off and look up because of all of the passengers waiting to check in. Ironically, though, if you had gone straight into the entrance hall , bypassing the ticket counters you would have seen a huge monitor display giving you all the information you need.

Orlando has a land side and an airside building as do many other newer airports in the US. The ride from one to the other is a shuttle train. This train has windows and the ride from one building to the other is smooth and quite lovely. As you arrive at either station, you cannot tell which side to disembark from since the station, for some odd reason encases the train in metal sheathing instead of in glass as in most shuttles. When you arrive, (as well as depart) it is more like an elevator than a train..There is a lot of walking and the usual roller coaster feeling getting up to the train and then down to the service levels, although there are commodious well placed elevators which make using them very convenient.

Security (this was at noon) was bedlam. Wall to wall people. I asked a TSA officer if it was always like this and he responded “this isn’t busy.” I can’t imagine it getting worse.

Other than that, I didn’t notice anything either to its credit or detriment and wonder what all the fuss is about.I’d give it a 7 or 8.

Amarillo airport (Rick Husband Airport, formally) is the usual small town airport with a few stores and about 8 gates. Small as it is, it has one of the longest runways in the United States because it is also used by a fleet of military transports which are based there. Due to its diminutive size it is very convenient for parking, rental car facilities and for waiting. It usually isn’t crowded. They have free wifi and best of all, permanently fixed bar stools at narrow tables containing built-in electric outlets and USB ports.

Listening to some conversations, I gleaned that an entire group was traveling to Israel. They were all wearing something orange for ease of identification. It was a two week trip and this was the first leg from Amarillo to Houston. They were not scheduled to fly out till the following evening and then only to Paris where they would change planes. Seems like real torture, but maybe it was a cheap tour. I think they paid about $3800.00 per person including meals and hotels.. Also, while seated at one of the aforementioned tables and doing my thing on the internet, I noticed that the waiting area which just a few moments ago had been all but empty was suddenly filling up at an alarming rate. Usually a waiting area fills slowly, with people drifting in from other areas. This was a flood. Suddenly there were 60 or so people crowding into the area. This must have been the result of a gate change but I never did find out. I closed my computer and waited for my own flight across the hall which was just being announced albeit in an accent so thick, I couldn’t be sure whether they were canceling the flight or calling it.

How not to run a business

I walk into a post office in the middle of nowhere in Houston. A gentlemen is standing at the self service machine busily pushing buttons looking like he was dong a fox trot with his wife. There is one other person standing in line behind him. I look into the counter service area and count 6 customers waiting to be served and one postal employee. What do I do? I need a book of post card stamps. Maybe the machine doesn’t even have them. So I get on line, figuring that if the guy at the stamp machine pulls out, and the next in line does her business quickly, I can sneak over to it and give it a try. It probably has the stamps I need. So right now, I stand in line behind a woman with 6 envelopes and little paper forms stuck to each one. The others ahead of me don’t seem to have anything major to do, but you never know. Still not sure of what I should do, I sneak a look at the self-service machine where Johnny-on-the-spot looks like he’s into a second round, but now there are two other people on line that weren’t there before.

I’m stuck. In the meantime, another clerk shows up and does she open up and say, “next?” No, she doesn’t. She stands at the counter sealing letters with tape ignoring the line that is continuing to form behind me. One guy apparently got a counterfeit money order but he will have to wait his turn, which he does patiently.

The lady with the six envelopes does her thing which takes a bit of time then the next one does something or other then a guy picks up a registered or certified letter which for some reason takes the recently arrived clerk (yes she finally opened her counter for business) a long time to cut the return receipt off the mail, getting the customer to sign in about 3 places and when this transaction is over, asks “ is there anything else?” The guy thinks a while then says he wants a roll of first class stamps which requires the clerk to walk back from her counter and come up with the little jewel that costs $44.00. Then he has to pay for it which he does but he has to sign in two other places one of which is a machine on which he is also required to print his name. If you have ever signed one of these machines, you know it is difficult to do, is usually illegible and takes time.

Okay. So he is finished and soon it is my turn,. I ask for the package of stamps and she again goes back to look around and can’t immediately find them. She finds a new package of them, needs to remove the plastic wrapping from it which she does by poking the packaging with a pencil (why doesn’t the USPS provide its clerks with real tools to do their job with) and finally sells me the sheet which she puts into a big glassine envelope. I pay cash, take my purchases, and leave. I simultaneously glance at my watch and at the self-service machine. There is still a line at the machine and I notice it took me ten minutes to buy a book of stamps.

If the post office is so busy, how come they can’t make any money?

And the credit goes to...

Ah, springtime, the time of year when young people's thoughts turn to love, and Jewish women's thoughts turn to cleaning for Passover (hereinafter "Pesach" which is less letters to write from a 'berry).

Well, as I have informed you in the past, Lovey likes to clean and be neat and orderly, me, not so much. However, as I do not wish to sleep outside yet, as there is still snow, mud and cold about, I grudgingly agreed to clean my closet. Although I was not overly concerned with the possibility of finding any chametz in the closet, it was time to go through stuff that hasn't moved in almost 10 years.

So I, in good cheer and spirit, went through the entire closet, and found all kinds of interesting things, including a new, tailored suit with the tags still on it. I moved the suits that fit to one side, the ones that almost fit to the other side, the "are never going to fit again" off to Kupas Ezra, and the shirts in the middle to differentiate between the different sizes.

Why am I telling you all this, you are probably wondering at this point. I could say because oi am sitting in court waiting for a case to be called, and I have nothing else to do. However, there is a point. When I finished with the grumbling (really??? No!!) and the closet, it looked pretty good.

The next day my brother asked me if he could pick up a shirt from me, I told him "no problem, just call me when you get in to my house, and I will walk you through which shirt to take."

Now having shared a room with him, this is one person who REALLY is aware of my neatness habits, (or choice to allow stuff freedom to stay wherever it wants, as I like to call it). So while on the phone with me, he goes to my closet, opens it, and says " Wow, this is really neat "

Lovey laughed for five straight minutes when I repeated the conversation to her.

Efficiency in Asia

Very recently, I had the misfortune to visit a Toyota dealership.

To refresh the memories of some of our devoted readers, I am not a fan of anyone whose living involves the sales and servicing of automobiles (with a very few local exceptions). Nor am I a fan of Japanese auto products whose reputation for excellence and quality, in my opinion, is the product of a massive propaganda and brainwashing effort to exalt the Asian product and to denigrate the American one.

My visit was in aid of my brother who owns a Toyota (vehemently disagreeing with my opinions re: his ride) and had to bring it in for a recall. As we usually ride together, instead of picking him up at his home, I was to meet him at the service department of the local Toyota dealer.

The service reception area is where the "writers" - people who enter the information needed for a service ticket - sit in their self-important lordliness on a raised platform managing to look occupied and able to ignore customers in a fashion that would make waiters green with envy. I knew we were in trouble when my brother pulled in and handed his recall notice to an employee of the dealership who manually filled out a form on a clipboard. This took few moments and my brother remarked that they were still doing things in pen and paper. One would think that, with the paperwork done, there would be nothing left to do and we would be on our way.

Nothing doing. Clipboard boy handed the recall notice back to my bro and pointed him toward the sanctum sanctorum where a group of bored "writers" were staring at their computer screens, probably watching the latest x rated offerings on youtube.

It became our turn to be written up and since the registration for the car was needed but was in the car and the car had already been pulled out of the bay, we had to recall the car and get the registration. That done, we were on our way.

Or so we thought. The writer informed us that since we had never been there for service before he needed more information and it would "only take about 10 minutes." Ten minutes! To write up the minutia of name address and serial number? Yep. You see, these "writers" come from the old school where computers and typewriters were for the hoi polloi, not factory workers and mechanics. They can barely type. And, they need to know everything about you, from your age to what you have for breakfast every morning. He also insisted on a signature for what earthly reason I can't fathom since Toyota was paying anyway and, after all, the dealership is in possession of the car.

I kept wondering: Toyota is recalling 8 million cars! Don't they have a better system? The recall notices have all the necessary information on them, one shouldn't have to stand as before a judge to answer questions that any idiot should be able to read for himself. I would suggest that one should only have to leave his recall notice and a phone number where he can be reached.

In case they need to know whether you like your eggs scrambled or sunny-side-up.

Lines again

I am on line in the Costco in Brooklyn. A thought just hit me. Since I last wrote from this same Costco line, I don't think I have been to this Costco. I usually go with Lovey to the local one.

So here I am, with just one person waiting ahead of me, and since I started writing this

I was going to write the line hadn't moved, same old store, but they opened a new line and took me first. Cool.

Hello Again

Just a quick hi so that you know I am still around. Recently my company decided tp basically cut off almost all internet access. I will get to that later. However, I got a quick repreive somehow so I just popped into cyberspace to see what is going on at the good Doctor. Thanks Soupeater for keeping things going, but based on the nature of the recent posts, I think we should rename the blog Dr. G gets high, or something like that.

I am sitting at a Dinner (not the one. I chaired) listening with half an ear, and using all other 4 1/2 senses to write this. I think they are going to feed me now so I am signing off.

Up, Up But not without a fee

Long ago, I read somewhere (no attribution, I cannot remember where or when) that in the entire history of commercial air travel, on balance, no one has ever made a penny in air transportation. For the time being, within this framework, the airlines appear to be sitting pretty. They have full planes,they are getting really high prices, they are collecting vast amounts in fees, and they are cutting cabin amenities to the bone (getting away with it, too). They're still not making money.

Many analysts feel that fees will never go away and that the airline companies have finally hit upon the gold mine that has eluded them since commercial air travel became a reality. As things stand now, this is probably true but things could change.


Take checked baggage fees. Here is a quote from a recent WSJ article on airline profitability

Southwest Chairman and Chief Executive Gary Kelly told Wall Street analysts on a conference call Friday that he had no plans to start charging baggage fees because the no-fee policy on first and second checked bags was helping Southwest gain market-share. He, for one, hoped other airlines keep raising their fees for checking luggage.

Full WSJ Article


Since the supply/demand curve applies to everything, checked baggage is no exception. Undoubtedly, some people take less luggage in an attempt to avoid checking any or some bags. The end result is probably to somewhat lower a plane's total load and thereby create fuel savings. On the other hand, much of the luggage which people would have checked had checking been free, now lands up in the cabin to the chagrin of all passengers and no real weight advantage for the airlines. And with the cutback in food service and charges for the elementary comforts of life (blankets, pillows) these items will now need to be carried on board in addition to the extra bags that ordinarily would have been checked.

So where do we go from here? Air travel has become so unpleasant that even business travelers try to avoid it if they can. Admittedly, the airlines will take care of the business traveler and find some way to shield him from the nickel and diming as well as the discomfort. But they still need the hapless occasional traveler to help defray the fixed cost of the trip. and bear in mind, with the economy in the tank and the airlines having adjusted their flight frequencies to where the decreased passenger load has been brought into balance with available capacity, there is no incentive for the airlines to increase the comfort of air travelers.

I wonder what will happen when the total demand for air travel improves along with the economy. More planes will have to be brought back into service and those planes will have to be filled. Unless the airlines are happy with their reduced schedules, they will have to entice travellers to again brave the friendly skies. This will be in the form of elimination of fees, lower prices and greater cabin amenities.
Here's another article from USA Today

Henny Penny meets Al Queda

I recently heard a news report on the radio that a tape, purporting to be from Osama bin Laden, had emerged wherein the said benefactor of humanity stated that his cause is just because he wants to fight global warming and climate change. I never heard or read another word regarding this tape and assume that it was a hoax. (I admit that I heard it when my clock radio alarm went off and I may have dreamt the whole thing.)

In any case, this would have been the anti-climate change crowd's greatest propaganda coup. If Osama is for it, we ought to be against it.

Now for the Unfriendly Skies

After detailing to you my good experience, I must advise you of some of my bad experiences as well.

I was supposed to fly to Atlanta and connect up to a flight to Pensacola, FL. Only, the flight from Newark was delayed and delayed and delayed and finally took off 4-1/2 hours after it's scheduled departure. The delay was caused because the incoming flight which should have been used for our flight, although delayed due to weather,was diverted for use by another outgoing flight, primarily a company decision. Of course I was worried about the Pensacola flight but found out that it too was delayed. It was on a different airline and my attempts to take a different flight on a different airline to get to Atlanta on time was thwarted because the airline threatened to cancel the balance of my ticket if I didn't fly out on my originally booked flight.This would have necessitated the purchase of another ticket for the remaining segments at walkup rates. Also, the Newark to Atlanta portion would have been forfeited and a ticket on a competing airline would also have been at walkup rates.

There is a new model to the old game of airline profit maximization. It used to be a low rate for a round trip which starts in one week and returns after the following Saturday night. This allowed the leisure traveller who usually stays over a weekend to benefit at the expense of the business traveller who does not usually include the weekend in his travel plans. That has pretty much been scrapped. The latest ploy is to increase fares as the time for the flight approaches. Maybe this has become possible because the fare algorithms effectively sell the flights out. It is something that the savvy traveler needs to consider.

I have drawn up a list that I intend to send to the committee chairmen of the House and Senate committees that deal with air transport.

Here is the list:

Flight cancellations and delays which are caused purely for commercial reasons or by mismanagement.

Exorbitant ticket change fees

Ticket cancellations to correct typographical errors

Cancellations of an entire itinerary when one segment is missed causing the passenger to have to pay 5 or 10 times the original price in order to get back home,.

Assigning the worst seats to certain classes of tickets without notifying the purchasers.

If any of you have any other suggestions regarding where the public is being taken advantage of by the airlines, please post a comment..

Fly the Friendly Skies

Air travel has lately gotten a deservedly bad rap. More about this in my next post.

Sometimes,it can still be fun. Take for instance a flight I took from Atlanta to Orlando this week. Security was a hassle, it's true, but as security goes, it wasn't bad. There was no crowding and no untoward delays to the shoeless, midriff showing masses. The plane was completely full, not a single seat empty. Of course some of the later boarders didn't get their bags on board which must have been unpleasant for them. I was in the final zone to be called but I found a place for my luggage a few seats in front of my assigned seat. The stewardesses were amazingly competent; there was no sense of them being harried or other manifestations of distress sometimes seen when a plane gets full.

We took off on time into the smooth clear air of a beautiful night. The ride continued to be smooth, I did not feel cramped because the plane was uncharacterically roomy (a 757, single aisle, originally used as an overseas aircraft). The added amenity which made things even more pleasant was an on-board wifi system which allowed me to pass the time in IM conversations with two of my children. I first thought there would be no refreshment on board but to my surprise they served drinks. I asked if they had any pretzels and received an apologetic negative although I was offered peanuts. As the plane descended to a painted-on landing, the stewardess who had originally served our row handed me two bags of pretzels which, apparently, she found on board.

As I left the plane, thanking all the crew, she said to me, "Goodnight, Mr. Pretzels."

All That For What??

I was listening to Martin Luther King's speech the other morning on Imus in the Morning, which I have been doing for many years on MLK day (known in some circles as BG day, but that is for a different post) , as he is one of the few people who play the speech, in its entirety, every celebrated anniversary of the birthday. (Long before a particular grandstanding formerly fat rabblerouser decided to attack him as a racist to advance his own racist agenda, but again, that is for a separate post).


One of the thoughts that struck me as I listened to this 46 year old speech is that the idea of a black President could only have been a vague notion to Dr. King, and one that he probably did not think would actually happen. The fact that it did is surely a testament to how far this country has come as a nation, and to his role in bringing about the changing mindsets that would allow it.


Another thought that struck me was that the woman obviously sitting right in front of the mic making constant comments to every other line, as if this were a revival meeting ( I don't remember exactly, but things like right on, you tell em, etc.) probably had no idea that (a) every little word she said was heard, as everyone else was just listening, and (b) that the speech would be preserved for posterity as a landmark moment in American history.


Finally, I was struck by the fact that it took 45 years from the speech, and all the advances in race relations to have a black president elected, and in just 1 year, we are left to wonder as to why it had to be this one.

An Open Letter to Hussein Obama

You've been in office a year now, so let's evaluate your performance.

Back in November 2008 you, rightfully, blamed the pickle the US found itself mired in, on the then current administration. It was blamed for the failing economy, the failing banks, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the federal deficit, the political corruption in Washington. You somehow convinced the people that you both knew how to and were capable of, fixing the problem.

The people elected you to fix the problems not to continue to blame others for creating the problem. They created the mess and that is why they are no longer in power. The mess creation is in the past, it is over with,
US citizens are now concerned with the future.

You immediately tackled the economic problem with your stimulus package. Unfortunately, you and your party, having lingered in the shadows these many years proposed a stimulus solution promoting public immorality and corruption which clearly showed that you were more interested in advancing your party's agenda than to remedy the nation's deficiencies.

Unfazed and deaf to the public outcry - your majority leader going so far as to claim the economic health of the nation would be improved by giving money to abortion clinics - you then proceded to further advance your party's agenda to force everyone into a health insurance plan reminiscent of the collectivisation of the kulaks in Soviet Russia in 1932. In order to get this, you came up with a bill that no one liked in it's entirety, the identity of it's beneficiaries a big question mark.

You further embarked on a campaign to extend an open hand to the sworn enemies of our nation, your friends, the adherents to the muslim faith. You made your first major speech as President in a foreign country to emphasize your respect for their culture and religion. In the spirit of reciprocity the response to our opening came in the form of an attempted attack during one of our nation's principal holiday seasons. To add insult to injury, after divine intervention caused the bomb to misfire, your Homeland Security secretary claimed that the system worked. The only part of the system that worked is that the perpetrator was arrested after the attempt. And we didn't need homeland security for that. Some of the civilian passengers abetted the arrest. We can excuse an error in judgement. Stupidity is inexcusable.

There is a crying need for jobs and a resucitation of American industry. If you are serious about these goals the way to accomplish them is definitely not to make it inadvisable for corporations to hire additional workers. Raising taxes, increasing regulations and increasing the overall costs of doing business will certainly increase the stagnation and the failure of American business to thrive.

You won the election; it's no longer about them, it's about you.

Please scroll down..

i usually give a day or two between posts for people to read and comment, but as that doesn't happen too often, and there is SO MUCH going on now, I will just ask you to scroll down the page to earlier posts as you read, and feel free to express opinions wherever you choose.

I have 2 points to make

POINT 1

Anti Semitism is alive and well in this country. By now, I am sure you have heard the story of the 17 year old putting on Tefillin causing a NEW YORK based plane to divert because the totally clueless ( never seen a Jew?) flight crew, out of New York, were suspicious. Even though the Tefillin obviously went through the screening process (no, wait, that is no proof.)

This is not the anti semitic part.

The issue that gets to me is that if this were a Muslim praying in the aisle, or a Christian using prayer beads, and the flight crew decided that they were rterrorists and caused a plane to divert, the ACLU, NAACP, Muslim league and others would be SCREAMING how this person's religious rights were violated, that we overreacted to what is clearly a simple religious activity, how this is profiling, etc. What do we hear on this?

Nothing.


POINT 2


The head of the democratic party, also known as the chief donkey, has now decided that he "got the message"and in order to set things to rights, he is now proposing NEW REGULATIONS!!!! Although the banks do deserve to be smacked around, this guy is clueless. Thank goodness, now there is a chance that the American people revolt will continue into November 2010 as the liberals continue to show they have no clue, as opposed to realizing that they ought to get with the program.


I would move to Canada, but their health care sucks.

The Long National Nightmare is Over

Getting back to the politics here, with a little help from information gathered up in Toronto, I will continue the celebration in the GOP's stunning victory in Massachusetts.


The fact that the leftists no longer have an unbreakable stranglehold on the country is cause in itself for celebrating. An awful lot of political capital has been spent to further the liberal and socialist agenda, and the backlash has begun.


However, I would like to go back to the health care disaster that these people have been trying to foist on us, telling us how good it is in Canada, England and Israel, to name a few countries. Well, I got to talking to a member of the local volunteer ambulance service in Canada. He told me that there is a certain beauty to having one system, because all records are available electronically to all hospitals, including the pre-hospital reports which are done electronically, since it is all one system.


Then I asked him if the organization has its own ambulances, or are they just a first responder outfit. What he told me made my blood run cold.


He told me that it doesn't pay to have an ambulance, because the way it works up north is if there isn't an available bed for your patient in the hospital, you have to wait, with your patient on your stretcher, until there is one. This could be in excess of FIFTEEN HOURS!!!! Not always, but it happens. So if you asked a volunteer to take a call at 8 in the morning, and not get off the call until 8 at night, losing an entire day of work ( and perhaps his job) there wouldn't be alot of volunteers! I asked him what happens at a shift change in the ambulance corps. He told me the next crew babysits that patient. So you could have two shifts of ambulance crews, or more, all just dealing with the same patient, taking an ambulance off the street, and not having the patient treated, for hours and hours.


This is what we have to look forward to? Frightening.

Early Warning

After yesterday’s upset in the Massachusetts senate race, the pundits are all saying that this foretells a major loss for the Democrats in the upcoming midterm elections. Maybe just because of this event it will not happen. The expected disaster to the Democrats has just occurred, a good ten months prematurely, and therein lies the rub. If our elected officials take heed (and they probably will) and reform their ways to align more closely with the will of their constituents there may not be a rout in November. There are a whole host of issues on which they can refuse to be a rubber stamp for the Obama – Reid – Pelosi steamroller.

Of course there may be voters in November who will want revenge for the betrayal of their trust, for turning their opportunity at responsible leadership into a dictatorial frenzy.

HELOOOOOOOOO

Is anyone still reading this blog?

My Faith in People Has Been Restored ( for now)

I have two quasi political posts but I will break up the joy here with this one first. -Dr. G.


We went to Canada this past week (its not the complete reason for lack of posts, but the material I got from the trip should make up for it). So we were thinking of stopping overnight in Rochester to break up the trip. When Stretch heard this, he said to us "great, now I can pick up my tie."

We asked him what he was talking about, and he informed us that the last time we were in Rochester, 2 1/2 years ago, he left his tie in the shul (synagogue) there. he claimed he left it on the back table, and he was sure that it was still there.

Well, not wishing to disabuse his faith in human nature, but due to a change in plans, we ended up in Syracuse instead. However, on the way back, an opportunity presented itself to pass by the shul in Rochester. Lovey bet him 2 bucks that it wouldn't be there, and I was willing to put up 5 additional dollars, but that was too rich for Stretch, since, I guess, he wasn't THAT sure the tie would be there. He says to me as we were entering the building, " just so you know, its a Croft & Barrow tie, with circles on it". Sure, dude, whatever you say.

So we walk in, and I ask someone if there is a lost and found box, and the answer is no. So we go to the back table and wouldn't you know it, after 2 1/2 years, the TIE WAS NO LONGER on the back table. Gee, I guess they clean up once in a while, even in quiet places like Rochester.

However, not to be discouraged yet, we rifled through a box of skullcaps on the back ledge, and wouldn't you know it, NO TIE! So now I tell him "why don't you check the coatroom?" Figuring the same, continuing result. He goes in and after a bit pops out, and wouldn't you know it...... his tie is in his hand!

Amazing.

WHAT WAS SHE THINKING?

It's not the 60th vote that the Democrats just lost this night. Even if Scott Brown had not won, his near miraculous rise in the polls where he became a real threat to Martha Coakley clearly indicated the public's dissatisfaction with the health care bill.

But the Democrats as late as today were still airily bandying about the notion that all they had to do was re-vote the Senate bill and send it to the president. Are they for real? Does Nancy Pelosi really think that her congressional caucus are such lemmings that they would vote for a bill they clearly couldn't pass (the Senate's version) on the first try? Add to that, after today's upset, would all 220 Democrats who voted for the House version of the Health Care bill in November vote even for their own version again?

I kind of doubt it. After all, politicians are masters of self preservation and if the people are so against this bill that a left wing state like Massachusetts can elect a conservative Republican on the strength of his opposition to this bill I am sure they will take notice.

Nancy Pelosi, what were you thinking?

High Noon

Things are changing as I write this and it is gratifying to see.

Just a few weeks ago, Scott Brown could hardly have been less known and could hardly have had a worse chance of being elected to the Senate in the left-wing, liberal state of Massachusetts. Now,he has a pretty good chance; his poll numbers have skyrocketed and despite the Democrats' denials that he won't win, they brought out their biggest guns, Bill Clinton and Barack Obama, to try to stem the tide.

This gives us a good lesson in political science and I am sure our wise politicians will take note of what happened here. For months, there have been intimations that the health care bill was unpopular and as time went on, and the congress kept fooling around with it to garner a vote here and a vote there, it became such a grotesque creation that the majority of the electorate were opposed to it. But the Democrats, continuing to smoke their own dope, really believed that the health care bill was the most just, fair and popular thing that ever passed the congress. Scott Brown's meteoric rise in the polls can only be attributed to his opposition to the health care bill and any politician who rationalizes this away, (as some have done) does so at his own peril. Our politicians are very sensitive to hot-button issues.

Whether Martha Coakley wins or not, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the Congressmen and Senators who voted for the bill will switch their vote when the compromise version is submitted for final passage.

I don't have an answer to the following question. Can Joe Biden, as president of the Senate cast a 60th vote to break a fillibuster in case Brown wins election to the Senate? According to my understanding of Robert's rules, a chairman can always vote, not only to break a tie or to create one. I think the Senate rules may be a bit different, limiting the Vice President's vote only to these two aforementioned occasions.

This will be a tense 36 hours for our country and I hope the best man wins this election.

Come and get it at the Greunkern garage sale!

Lovey has decided that we have too much stuff, and it is time to get rid of some ( most) of it. So the first thing she does is post something on one of these community bulletin boards, that results in an almost instantaneous response, and the quick exit of a rather bulky item from our garage.

So amazed at the ease of the transfer, (for free, how difficult is it, actually?) and giddy with the prospect of an empty garage, she continued on her quest and responded to an ad looking for unused household goods.

This was to donate unused goods to a charity, that would then auction them off. So away she goes on a tear through the garage, unearthing all the crap we moved with us from the City nine years ago and never even used, much less opened, or even remembered that we had anymore. This results in five shopping bags worth of stuff.

Now, I think that I should just clarify my position in this as opposed to Lovey's. I am all in favor of a clean and neat house, even if I just appreciate it, but do not actively participate in its creation, and in fact, have been known a time or two to be the root of interference towards the stated goal.

However,

I am also an inveterate packrat, and not really in favor of letting anything go. ( really, I know that is just shocking to all of you.) which is in direct contravention to Lovey's position, which is to remove anything that doesn't move in eight hours. ( there are reasons why I go to bed later than her every night, but that is for another post.)

So, now we have the dilemma of my basic nature warring with the desire to make the wife happy, so I decided to shut up and let her have her way, so that maybe I could get one of MY cars in the garage for the winter.

So she puts together this package, over my martyred expression, and then drops the bomb on me. Since the guy is in Brooklyn, why should he have to give his UPS number, I go every day, why don't I just saddle up and TAKE ALL THE STUFF TO BROOKLYN FOR HER!!?!?

Now wait a darn tootin' minute here, I went along with the concept, but I sure never agreed to be part of the process! Just steamroll over me, my objections, wishes and thoughts because we need to keep the house neat.

However, as I do like to sleep inside, in the cold, I am looking at a pile of stuff to be picked up as I write this in my office. Anybody want a sectional candy dish? just let me know.

Sentimentalism or sensationalism?

On its face, the story of Sean Goldman seems sand for all the people involved. The father who has been fighting for his son, and the "adoptive" family that has been raising the boy for the last five years, who endured the loss of a wife/daughter.


Even taking into account that the mother was duplicitous, and that the adoptive family kept a child hostage from his father, it still would seem sad for them to lose a child they purported to love for the last five years.


Until we see their final grandstanding act.


Parading a scared and confused nine year old boy through the streets, and throngs of reporters and onlookers, is tantamount to abuse of the worst nature.



So the saga of Sean Goldman ultimately unfolds with the poor put upon Brazilian family finally being forced to return the kidnapped child. Without getting into a long philosophical discussion as to the situation, I would just say that the final act of abuse shows the true colors of the family in Brazil. If they truly loved the boy, they would never have subjected him to the torture of the public spectacle he was forced to endure.

So as they say, the proof is in the pudding, and in this case, the pudding is rancid.

Fly The Friendly Skies

This past weekend, we saw a major failure of the international anti-terrorist security system. The Netherlands, along with a host of other nations more inimical to the interests of the United States, allowed a radical Islamist to board a plane bound for the United States with explosive materials in his possession. It was only the hand of the lord which prevented a major airline disaster.

The frightening thing is that the agency in charge of airline security in the Netherlands claims that all procedures were exactly followed and implemented as written. This flies in the face of all the facts that have been revealed since the incident unless one concludes that the agency is telling us that all the inconvenience to passengers and intrusive procedures that have been instituted since 9/11 has been totally ineffective.

That run-down nations like Nigeria and Yemen, who harbor no liking for the United States and very little concern for human dignity or human life, should do a slapdash job of checking for terrorists or the possibility of terrorism is understandable. Not so with a progressive country like the Netherlands and therein lies the rub. If the security procedures are indeed effective then it seems, despite the protests of the Netherlands authorities, that someone wasn't properly doing his job.

Upon serious deliberations we came up with the perfect solution for the worldwide airline security crisis that has plagued the United States. Before any flight originating from a foreign country leaves its gate, a member of the security team which checked the passengers must certify that the plane is safe and then board the plane for the trip. If that doesn't ensure a more thorough check of security threats, nothing will.

I agree that the foregoing is a radical, rather impractical solution. The current thinking goes something like this: When the shoe bomber tried to blow up a plane we started to check passengers' shoes now we will have to check everyone's crotch, and in the future when someone finally comes up with the ultimate hiding places, everyone will have to throw up and void before getting on a plane.

The true solution is that we have to get tougher with our enemies. We have to do profiling, we have to do as much intrusive searching as we are technically able to do we have to put a total embargo on travelers who are nationals of countries inimical to our interests, and we have to minutely screen by means of personal interview anyone who has traveled to embargoed countries. We have to gain the ascendency over those who wish us harm and, yes, it will cost us, in treasure, and in lives.

The current outlook for this is dismal. We have a president who gives fine speeches but doesn't have the stomach or the willingness to hit our enemies where it hurts. The 9/11 criminals have been given a public forum for their denunciations when they are brought to trial. Our ability to get information from our captives has been emasculated. Our policy regarding piracy on the high seas reflects a pusillanimity unbecoming a nation with historically unprecedented strength.

Ironically, other less endowed nations have come to the realization that it is do or die. The Mexicans are fighting a battle to the death with their criminal drug elements and the Pakistanis are doing the same with their home-grown Al Quaida. Even the Europeans are beginning to see the threat from radical islam and the people are becoming disenchanted with their high sounding but hollow principles.

Maybe there is yet hope that we will come to our senses before it's too late.

NPR and You

We recently ran some posts on the lack of comments to our other posts as well as to our lack of production. It seems we have been lax in not posting enough food for thought. When this blog began we posted almost one per day (excluding Saturday) but now we are down to about 2 per week.

I think the two issues are related. When we post a new work, the older work, which may not have yet been read by our loyal readership, takes a subordinate position and may not be read at all in the future. So, understandably, we are loath to publish until we feel that everyone has seen the previous post.

We have no other method to evaluate the popularity of our content other than by getting your feedback in the comments section. Nielsen is a possibility but the management here at Dr. G. cannot come up with the necessary funds to purchase their services. Maybe we should initiate a fund drive like the public radio stations do. On second thought, if we can't even get you to comment for free, I doubt we could get any money out of you skinflints.

The Fat Lady Has Not Yet Sung

Now that the posturing, negotiating, double dealing, and compromising about the ill-considered health care reform bill is all but over, let's examine its prospects in becoming law.

The basics of this bill, (particularly the Senate version of it) was masterfully summed up by senator Mitch McConnell just before the first cloture vote in the dead of night early Monday morning. It is contained in congressional record page S13643. Click here for the first page which begins in the rightmost column then close the pdf and click on "next page" of the screen that appears
His impassioned plea didn't move a single vote. Each player in this game gained something for his constituency or his ego while the wider public lost a great deal.

So where do we go from here? If this bill passes the Senate, it still needs to be reconciled with the House version and this is done by means of a conference committee. The committee is appointed by the leadership of each house, respectively and usually consists of the chairmen and ranking members of the permanent committees that worked on the bill. There does not need to be an equal number of members from both houses.

The work of this committee (most of which is done behind closed doors) consists of hashing out a compromise between one version and another. So, for instance, if a bill from the House sets aside a million dollars for something and the Senate version two million dollars, the conferees decide on one and a half million. The purpose is to get one version hashed out. When that is done, the bill is then sent back to both houses to vote on it as is. A simple majority is required in each house.

I can't see how this bill can be reconciled. Although the Senate is on the way to a straight party line vote which will mean the Democrats have 60 votes to the Republican's 40, the House bill had only a 5 vote difference which means that if three congressmen had changed their vote from yea to nay, the bill would have been defeated.

One of the unknowns in this game is whether or not the conference report (bill) can be fillibustered. There is quite a difference of opinion on that. If it can be fillibustered, then the Senate leadership will still need 60 votes to pass this and that would mean that all the compromises made to accommodate each individual senator would have to be kept pretty much intact. If it can't be fillibustered, then the Democrats only need 50 votes to pass it and they certainly would have enough votes even if some senators desert the caucus.

The House is a different story. In order for it to pass, they need every vote they originally got. It's inconceivable to me that when the conference bill finally emerges that it won't contain something that at least 3 representatives who originally voted for the bill wouldn't take umbrage to and vote against. The main candidates for this would be abortion, the public option, and financing (taxes). Some liberals, whose dream of having the government increase its stranglehold on people's lives seems within their grasp will vote for the bill with or without the public option since it does contain the requirement that every citizen buy health insurance. Others, anti-capitalists among them, may object that the insurance companies get a windfall without the public option and vote against it. If the conference bill weakens the Stupak ammendment on abortion, some of the blue dog democrats might desert the party and vote against the bill.

On top of all this, the polls increasingly show that the public is against the bill and this could influence some representatives to rethink their commitment to it, especially after the holiday visit back home where they will certainly hear from their constituents in person.

Bottom line: It's not a done deal by a far shot.

To Whom Belongs this Coat?

We recently attended a family celebration in another city, about an hour and a half drive from home. It was a cold night and necessitated some outerwear. My wife took her coat out of the coat closet and was ready to go. Before we left, daughter took a series of pictures of her parents, dressed for a party.

When we arrived at the party locale, we hung our coats on the rack provided for the guests and joined the other guests.

When it came time to leave, my wife took a while to come outside and when she did, it was sans coat. I didn't understand what had happened and it turned out that her coat was missing. I went back in to check and noticed a coat that looked very much like the one she came in, and it was hanging in the exact place the original coat had been hung. I am usually not very observant but I could plainly see that this was not my wife's coat. We therefore decided to leave it where it was but asked the hostess to take it home in case no one else claimed it.

Upon arrival home, putting her pashmina in the closet, she exclaimed "Here's my coat!" Well, even Houdini couldn't do this trick effectively. Turns out, she had taken daughter's coat.

When I asked daughter if she had gotten her coat back, she indicated that she didn't really use that coat very much and as an indication of how little she used it she said, "I took five pictures of it and didn't even notice it was mine!"

Audience Participation

A while back, our friends at Iceberg Carwash posted several pieces on the comments they received or didn't receive. A metric called CPP (comments per post) was established, and although the ultimate numbers were never revealed, it became obvious that the metric was important in judging the success of the blog.

Alas, here at Dr. G we notice that although we generate a lot of commentary on our irrelevance or stupidity, our posts on political or social matters or just plain artsy posts don't generate much interest at all. We have tried poetry, social comment, rants, music reviews, political commentary all without igniting the spark that will burgeon into the raging fire of debate.

So the question is, what can stir you out of your torpor?

Let us know.

WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN?

I see where North Korea is again making threats against South Korea and implicitly against the United States in threatening to use disputed sea areas of the west coast of Korea for ordnance practice. This comes at the same time that our pusillanimous envoys are making nice to them in another futile round of diplomatic efforts to get the Koreans to give up their nuclear program.

If the lessons of history can tell us anything it is that the longer a strong country allows itself to be bluffed by a weak one the better the chance that the weak one will become stronger. In 1936, the Germans marched an army into the Rhineland, an area declared to remain demilitarized by the treaty of Versailles. The German military had strict orders that if even one shot was fired against them, they were to turn tail and leave. But not one Frenchman even lifted a gun to stop the depredation. Two years later, at Munich, the victors of World War I calmly gave away Czech sovereignty to the loser of the conflict. The Germans were still not as strong as they ultimately became but they were stronger than they had been in 1936. The loss of Czechoslovakia to the Germans greatly increased their strength further and denied Czechoslovakia's industrial might to the allied powers.

The former Soviet Union bullied and bluffed the western powers for close to 70 years, and with the help of the United States developed from a backwards, agrarian nation into an industrial one (still backwards though) that fomented untold trouble for the US and its allies. Although the Soviet Union fell under the force of Reagan's economic warfare, its successor, Russia, continues to bluff and bully, demanding a place at the table among the strong industrial economies when its economy barely matches that of several of the US individual states.

I can understand that the US doesn't want to get involved in a third war (if it even can) in Asia. But I can't see a great effort needed for the most powerful and richest country in the world to teach a lesson to a tenth rate starving nation. Yes they have a large army. Yes, they may have some nuclear weapons although it isn't clear if they or their delivery systems work. I wonder what would happen if some serious damage were done to their most sophisticated installations and modernized cities. If their leaders were somehow incapacitated, what good would their army do them? These are desperate people and the leadership would very quickly be at each others' throats, nullifying their ability to mount a meaningful attack anywhere. If they did manage to fire some nuclear warheads, the most likely target would be South Korea so I can understand why the south doesn't want any action by the US that isn't cleared by them.

More's the pity, because the north will eventually take on the south anyway and the longer we wait the worse will be the result.

Hello Mr. ______.

When did the children of my contemporaries become my contemporaries?


Recently, I noticed that a few young men, children of friends or acquaintances of mine, have taken to calling me by my first name. ( G.W., if you are all paying attention)


Now, this is behavior that I have never overtly encouraged, nor implied that it is acceptable. In fact, it usually doesn't happen, and when it does, I will either ignore the friendly salutation and the person uttering it, or, if it seems like an honest mistake, gently correct them, usually through one of my children with whom they are friendly.


I know that many people my age feel that it is silly to insist on the formality, and I always assumed I would be a friend of the little (young) people, and have an easy friendly relationship. However, I have found that if you are too chummy with these little people, they very quickly cross the line into rudeness, so it is good to have the separation of an adult title.

Even when they are a bit older, like high teens - low twenties, I just don't feel comfortable being on a first name basis with these kids. ( Yes, they are still kids, even if they are married). I am old enough to be their parent, or I have their age in a multiple. I just think that the formality is good to remind the younger generation that a certain respect is due a previous generation.

I feel that I am not a hypocrite in this matter, since I am uncomfortable personally referring to my parent's friends by their first names, even if they insist on it. I also occasionally feel funny referring to someone 15 years older than me who have children I am friendly with by their first names, but this is more my generation already, as sometimes I am friendly with their kids, but other children of theirs are the same age as my children. I guess it really depends on the basis of the relationship.

However, the problem starts with first name calling, but can lead to much worse forms of disrespect, for teachers, Rabbis and other authortity figures who deserve to be treated with a degree of deferrence.

Ultimately, it seems that this generation just does not have the proper respect. I wonder who is responsible for that.

Writers Block or Complacency?

I just noticed that the Good Doctor is "up to" 98 posts for the year. This number might look good on its own ( wow! almost 100!) however, I think it must be put in context.


In 2008, when the blog was in creation for a total of 62 days, there were 59 posts. Almost one a day. Since that time, to date, there have been 349 days, an average of 3.56 days per post, (or .28 posts per day, for all you statisticians over at the 'berg). I find this sad, that we have let our fans down by not publishing enough of the wit and wisdom that this site has become known for.


So, what is the reason for this? Are we busier ( yes), has the first blush of the joys of publishing worn off (not really), did we have LOTS of stuff stored up that HAD to come out immediately ( probably), have our lives become such that there is nothing to share with you anymore ( HECK, no)?


Who knows, its just something to ponder as we approach the end of this calendar year, a resolution to be more prolific in the next year. I think I will dabble a bit more in politics and current events, something I have been avoiding for much of this year. One thing's for sure, context is important ( WOW, ALMOST 100!!!) and it is abused waaay to many times by the media.


But now I have ALL OF THAT STUFF stored up and ready to rip.


So get ready.

Patterson for Mayor, or Public Advocate

I think the one person in New York politics who makes everyone else look better is our dear governor ( no pun intended).

I have the wonderful opportunity to be subjected to one of his speeches the other day while waiting in the Department of Buildings. Since I was stuck waiting there, I heard more him speaking that the usual sound bites on the news.

Wow, frightening stuff. He was talking to Wall Street, trying to say how important they were to New York State. An admirable sentiment, but one that he just kept saying over and over and over.

And that was the good part.

Where he lost me was when he referred to something as "weaved" as opposed to "woven". ( know it can be both, but woven was the right one for the reference he was making). But even if you disagree that this is the wrong usage, the next comment that caught my attention was his point that one should object to anyone who says that Wall Street is not an integral part of New York. he gave examples as to other states and their industries, such as Michigan and cars, Maryland and Clam Chowder, and when he got to Texas he said ( as close as I can remember it

If you tell them in Texas to give up oil, they will string you up the nearest tree."

Texas, a black man, and a reference to lynching. He couldn't POSSIBLY have come up with something else?? However, he will get a pass for two reasons. One, he is a blithering idiot, so no one will care, and two, he is black, so he can say it.

I am just waiting until the line is attributed to Rush.

Boondoggle City

I went to Court today, hoping for some material to write about. Alas, nothing.

However,

After court I had the (mis)fortune to have to deal with something at the buildings department. I knew that I was in for a rough ride when the "guard" who runs the magnetometer and X-ray machine made me check my radio. My cell phone with a camera was fine, as was the digital camcorder I had in my pocket, but for some reason, the radio for the volunteer ambulance squad is a problem. I happen to know that there is a letter from the city that allows me to carry it, but I figured getting into a battle of wits with these clearly unarmed members (I DON'T mean guns) of the security team would not be productive, so I just let it go.

Then the fun really started. I went to the office I needed to be in. After ten minutes, someone sauntered out and took my paperwork. He came back fifteen minutes later having filled out a receipt and one line on another paper, and told me to go downstairs and pay and then return.

"Easy enough" I figured, forgetting that I haven't had to deal with idiotic city agencies in quite some time. Well, first, you have to get on a line in order to get a ticket to get into the queue to be seen. This involves another ten minute wait to show the girl my paperwork, as well as ID. (Ostensibly to prevent other people from paying my company's fines.) Then another ten minute wait for the cashier, who was about as friendly as the first girl. ( Not very, in case you are wondering).

After this, you would think the transaction would be finished. However, if you were paying attention above, or if you know how the city works, this is of course not the case. I then had to go back to the FIRST office, ask to see the same gentleman, wait the requisite ten additional minutes for him to walk the probable thirty feet or less to the reception area to exchange the receipt I was given for the one he was holding, and a pre-printed letter with his addition of a check mark.

Now you have an understanding why the city is going bankrupt, as well as why no one wants to do business in or with the city.

Mom knows best

I was listening to the radio recently and I heard ad for the new kind of thermometer that promises to give an accurate reading with just a swipe of the forehead. What got my attention the most was the kid in the ad, who whines "I hate the one that goes in the ear".



This struck me as extremely funny for two reasons. One, in my day, the complaint was similar, but the last word had an extra letter. Two, the in the ear thermometer was such an advancement when it came out, especially over the previous, aforementioned measurement procedure. We were amazed that a temperature could be obtained so quickly and accurately without all the previous fuss. Now this is known as the archaic method to get a temperature, and people are complaining that it is too uncomfortable.



I am not sure when I became an old man yellin' at the young whippersnappers that they don't know how good they have it, but considering the speed of technology today, I am not surprised that it happened a lot earlier than I thought it would.



On the flip side, the other approved method for taking temperature when I was a kid was my mother's lips on my forehead. ("you're fine. go to school"). So really the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Calling all cowards

We received an anonymous comment on a piece I recently wrote about the citizens of Jerusalem. The comment was a nasty personal attack upon myself. In discussions with the good doctor, we decided not to publish the post.

Not that I mind criticism. What bothers me about it is that the writer is too cowardly to come out into the open and stand behind his opinions and his aggressive posture. I am fully capable of civilized debate and stand behind my own opinions. I can just as easily counter an opposing argument as I can concede that I am wrong. Despite what anyone may think, I come by my views largely by experience peppered with a slight bit of preconceived ideas but I know the difference between reason and emotion. I can give you a good exposition of the thought processes that shaped my stance on a particular issue and I welcome the chance to do so.

So if you would like to comment, by all means do so, but I need to know who you are. I am unwilling to fight with shadows.